6 super simple tips to help you feel sexier in your own skin

With the busy lives we lead, its so easy to loose your mojo. With long days sat at your desk or chasing after the kids, it’s no wonder so many of us are burnt out….and its certainly difficult to feel sexy while you’re utterly exhausted.

But don’t worry. Here are 6 super simple tips to help you feel sexier in your own skin.

Change up your makeup routine

You don’t need makeup to look beautiful. Lets just get that straight. But if you want to feel a little sexy from time to time, then why not shake up your makeup bag with some new additions? A new voluminous mascara – click the link to find the best mascara on the market – to a luscious lip gloss or bold lip stain. If you don’t’ fancy makeup, why not treat yourself to a new moisturiser or exfoliator to help you skin glow naturally?

Book some time away

If you have little ones, get a babysitter on the phone. You and your partner need some time away. There’s scientific proof that indulging in spontaneity acts like an aphrodisiac which will have you feeling sexy, powerful and ready to take on anything!

Touch your skin

We all know how much we need to rush in the morning, a quick shower is all we have time for. But if you make a little more time, you can enjoy your shower – get used to the feel of your body and your own skin. Afterwards take your time when you’re applying your body lotion or moisturiser, getting to know how amazing and gorgeous your body is will make you feel super sexy.

Read something hot

Remember a few years ago when everyone was practically tearing at the pages of a particular book series about a certain Mr Grey? Well, why not revisit a racy novel, or find a new one to sink your teeth into. And don’t be afraid to read it in public – it’ll make you feel extremely risqué and confident!

Boost your bust

When was the last time you treated yourself to a new bra? Sure, we all have our favourites and our old faithful’s sitting in your underwear drawers, but a bad bra can give you poor posture and not the wow factor that you deserve. Go and get yourself measured properly and find some underwear that compliments you, your skin tone and your budget. And remember your partner might approve, but this is for you!

Make eye contact

Take a moment to think about how you ask for sex…how do they know that you’re in the mood? Do you drop subtle hints? Mumble it under your breath or just hope that they get the hint…? Well, next time you’re feeling a little hot under the collar, look your partner right in the eye and make it sensual. It’ll take them back to when you first starting dating and how you couldn’t keep your hands off each other!

Saying Goodbye To My Thirties

*Long read

So here it is.  The last day of my thirties.  Tomorrow, I will be 40 years old.

40 doesn't sound like something that should apply to me.  It so old.  Middle aged.   Oh Jesus.....

40 sounds like a person who knows what they are doing, more adult than I sometimes feel.  When a problem arises I still sometimes look around the room for an adult.  Someone more adult than I.  So, not like I have a choice in the matter, I am ready to be 40?

Yes, I think that I am.

The past two decades have not been easy, especially between my mid twenties and early thirties.  I had no confidence, I lived in a sea of black clothing and had little self worth.  I went in and out of depression and anxiety and sometimes, felt so sad that I wondered what the point of it all was.

Feelings of happiness, passion and hope seemed to be watered down and only on the occasional day did glimpses of them appear.  An emotional blunting or dulling of effect.

Certain people blazed a trail through my life like a shooting star.  All bright and beautiful till it crashes and burns.  Others disappointed me and abused my trust more than words can say.

That isn't to say that I did not also have fun over those years.  I had lots.  But I knew that I was not the person that I was supposed to be.  I was masked.  A fog covered me.

But then.  I started to write.  I found Twitter and found a voice that I never knew that I had.  A voice that was hidden on the internet so I was free to say what I wanted.  But I was still shy.  Still scared.

Then I started to blog.  I found plus size bloggers and found a world of colour and confidence that exploded my mind.  Fat women, like me, who wore colour and pattern.  They were self assured, knew who they were; they had confidence and sass.  Everything that I wanted.  I vowed to change.

This review was my first outing as a plus size blogger.  I cannot tell you how many photographs were taken and discarded.  How times I wrote the post and published, only to delete, rewrite, edit and publish again.

My confidence grew.  I grew to love pattern and found my confidence.

I did a photo shoot (cue moody pout).  I modeled (Can you see the smile?  That was happiness right there.)  Still not sure about that jumper though haha

I went from someone who actively hid from the camera, to someone who loves a good selfie.  I became more confident and with that, I got angry.

In the past few years, my focus has changed from the confidence in what I look like and the image that I present to the world, to what I think and what I say.  My blog pieces have become more serious and focused.  My voice on Twitter has expanded and I no longer am afraid to say anything that I think.  This has both lost and gain followers.  I care not.

I quit smoking 2 months ago.  Whether coincidence or not, the emotional blunting that I have experienced for so many years has gone.  I feel all the good.  The happiness I now have in my life, the joy, the expectation, the hope.  The excitement for the future.

I went on a spa day today with my best friend.  Someone who has been my best friend since I was 15 years old.  She has been there through every up and down, every high and every low.  She has seen the best and the worst in me.

She has seen all the recent changes in me over the recent years in confidence, in clothing, in what I say and what I share and think.  But she told me today that finally, after so long, she is now seeing the person that she first met, all those years ago.  Free, confident, happy, expectant, hopeful and most importantly, completely and utterly myself, without the fog that has covered me for so long.

I am back to myself again.  I would say that that is a damn good way to start your 40s.  Wouldn't you?

The Beauty Of Birth Flowers

Pixabay

Did you know that every month is assigned a flower? If you are struggling to think of a gift to buy someone, you now have the answer – a bouquet of stunning flowers that contains their birth month flower. This is something that is bound to go well. You could even team it with a piece of jewellery with their birthstone if you are purchasing for someone special. With that being said, read on to discover what the birth flower of each month is.

What are the different birth flowers?

The birth flower of January is a carnation. This beautiful flower comes in a whole host of colours, with each colour having a different meaning. Yellow means ‘I wish I could be with you’ while pink means ‘I will never forget you’.

The birth flower of February is Iris, which is associated with humility and faithfulness.

Daffodil is the birth flower for March. This flower has a cheery appearance and it says ‘you are an angel.’

If your loved one was born in April, send flowers containing sweet pea.

For May, lily is the flower to choose, and you have a variation of lilies to choose from. Lily of the Valley is particularly popular.

The birth flower of June is the rose. Everyone knows that this is a flower that is connected with love. However, different coloured flowers have different meanings, with yellow being ideal for friendship and red roses saying ‘I love you.’

Next, we have Larkspur, which is the birth flower of July. This flower is associated with love, affection, and lightness. It is for someone with a pure heart.

The birth flower of August is Gladiolus. This flower symbols moral integrity and strength. When you give a bouquet of these flowers, it is supposed to pierce the giver’s heart with passion!  

Aster is the birth flower of September. With a lush texture and wildflower beauty, this has long been considered the enchanted flower.

Marigold is the birth flower of October. This flower is also called the “herb of the sun” and it represents creativity and passion.

November’s birth flower is Chrysanthemum, which carries the beautiful meaning ‘you are a wonderful friend’.

Finally, the birth flower of December is Narcissus. It symbolises new beginnings and rebirth, which probably does not come as any surprise considering the time of year.

Hopefully, you have now discovered what your friend’s birth flower is. Purchasing a bouquet of flowers containing this is bound to make a good impression and show that you have put a lot of thought into the gift.

#Collaboration

European Royalty Fashion Trends We’re All Searching For…

When you think of the Royal Family, your mind will instantly think of our beloved Queen Elizabeth, her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren — we’re officially obsessed! But, when it comes to style, there are a few other royals that deserve a space in the limelight too. Not only do these royal females look flawless when they step out of the palace, but they’ve given the world some major style envy too.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, England

Studies have suggested that the Duchess of Cambridge has the ability to persuade American’s to purchase from a British brand, proving she’s a fashion hit worldwide. Her influence on fashion even has its own name — ‘the Kate effect’.

Believe it or not, when she wears a piece of clothing, desirability of American’s increases by an astonishing 38%. After she arrived at the Victoria and Albert museum wearing a tweed dress in October 2018, search volume between September and October for the term ‘tweed dress’ rose by 50%.

Crown Princess Victoria, Sweden

Although we all have our own style, we’ve all been influenced by ‘The Kate Effect’, even Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden. She was spotted in an above-the-knee navy pleated dress to show off her baby bump in 2015, even though the Duchess of Cambridge had worn it for a private event the year before.

Looking back at some of her most iconic looks, Princess Victoria wore a Maxjenny cocktail dress in August 2018. This look generated some interest around the brand too, with searches of the designer rising by 222% from July to August of the same year.

Queen Letizia, Spain

Queen Letizia isn’t afraid to switch up her fashion choices and doesn’t mind shopping from high-street or high-end brands.

There has been countless occasions where HM has worn something we’ve all wanted. Think back to that mid-length Nina Ricci dress in Madrid to that Stella McCartney cape gown for King Willem Alexander’s birthday.

A look you’re probably more familiar with is the bespoke red gown that she wore on a trip to Buckingham Palace in 2017. It didn’t take long for the media to report how people could copy the look, with the Daily Mail suggesting a crimson fishtail maxi dress from QUIZ as a high-street alternative.

As well as this jaw-dropping look, she rocked a Carolina Herrera floral dress in the UK too. It’s no surprise that searches for the term ‘Carolina Herrera skirt’ rose by 50% from June to July of the same year.

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, England

People love the look of Meghan Markle, and the search term ‘Meghan Markle style’ has over 20,000 searches per month. She’s truly a style icon of this era! One of the biggest statement pieces from Meghan must be her silk gown following the luncheon after the wedding at Windsor Castle. High-street designers frantically began to replicate the dress to meet the demand for the style that was expected to follow — and they made the right decision. Research revealed searches for ‘halter neck dresses’ were up 40% following the royal wedding and the term ‘halter neck tops’ increased 21% week on week as people tried to replicate her look on the special day.

As well as this, Meghan is known for sporting some great accessories and brands have experienced even more popularity of their products. After the official engagement announcement in 2017, Meghan attended an event in Nottingham with a Strathberry tote bag in hand. Global search engine data reveals a 398% increase in searches for ‘Strathberry’ from November to December 2017.

Crown Princess Mary, Denmark

After marrying Prince Frederick in 2004, Princess Mary has become a fashion icon for many. She’s been spotted in some fairytale-esque looks such as when she greeted the President of Vietnam on his visit to Denmark in a floor-length blush pink gown, complete with lace. Mary is also often spotted in a statement dress coat and pillbox hat, channelling Jackie Kennedy vibes.

With her love for bright colours and stand-out styles, everyone was wanting to copy her look after she attended the Copenhagen Concert Hall in Denmark for the opening of the Copenhagen Fashion Summit in May 2018. Dressed in a chic blouse tucked into a pleated skirt by Charlotte Eskildsen, she certainly looked the part. Searches for designer ‘Charlotte Eskilden’ rose 51% after she stepped out wearing the brand.

This article was brought to you by sequindresses retailer, QUIZ.

Sources

https://www.elle.com/uk/fashion/celebrity-style/a25317167/meghan-markle-royal-outfits-report/

https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/10/kate-middleton-fashion-influence

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4688840/How-copy-Queen-Letizia-s-UK-wardrobe.html

13 Things Email Marketers Need To Know About Spam

Have you ever thought about setting up a newsletter for your blog?

It is something that I have thought about time and time again, particularly as it is a great reader to have an additional connection with your readers and update them about any new and upcoming projects, changes you are going to make to the blog and also, share any new competitions.

The thing about newsletters is that you have to be careful on a number of issues.

Firstly, you must give your readers the ability to opt both in and out of receiving your newsletters easily.  A sign up button on your blog and an unsubscribe button on the email itself is probably the best way forward and will be compliant with GDPR.

Secondly, it is important that you do not spam your reader with too many emails.  I have added an infographic below with things you need to know about spam.

My top tips would be to only send a newsletter out at a maximum of twice a month.  Use an interesting subject line that will draw the reader in and make them want to open your email and of course, make that content interesting and engaging that will keep your readers subscribed to you.

Source: 13 Things Email Marketers Should Know About Spam by Campaign Monitor

Staying Safe When You DIY

This article has been written to raise awareness about mesothelioma.

Home renovation shows and tutorials available online have made finding inspiration for all of your renovation needs easier than ever. Before jumping into these projects on your own, it’s important to be conscious of the unexpected dangers of DIY that could affect your safety and health. If you’re thinking about starting a project, here are some safety tips that can help keep you protected as well as reduce the costs of giving your space the upgrade it needs.

Have The Right Gear

Before starting your DIY project, it’s important to realize that different projects will require necessary protective gear forsafety. During the renovation process, it’s likely that you will be working with a variety of construction materials. Protective gear like safety gloves will help you avoid skin irritation, splits, and cuts, but most importantly keep your eyes out of harms way. If you’re sanding, plastering, or working with paint fumes, make sure you have masks and eyewear that will properly shield you. For projects that require louder power tools, wear earplugs or noise-canceling headphones to protect your hearing.

If you will be using power tools, be aware of additional precautions. Power tools make renovating projects easier due to their simplicity and efficiency but often propose higher risks of danger. Always be aware of the tools proximity to your body. When you are finished with the tool, turn the safety back on, unplug it and keep it out of reach of small children and animals.

Finally, before starting your project make sure that your attire is free of any possible loose strings or fabric that could get caught or tangled in machinery. To avoid particle pollution in a space work in a properly ventilated room. Taking these additional small precautions is an easy way of protecting yourself.

Protect Your Furniture and Valuables

Home renovations can be messy and have the potential for leaving behind a stain or two,  having the proper coverage is essential  for protecting your irreplaceable valuables. Before starting, invest in tarps and plastic coverings that can be applied to cover furniture, flooring, carpets, and other surfaces that you want to keep clean. If you’re working in the kitchen, cover your countertops, eating utensils, and kitchen appliances to avoid any contamination and ultimately protect your health. Covering your valuables might seem like a tedious task, however, in the long run, this step will protect your belongings from any possible DIY mishaps. 

Identifying and Handling Harmful Substances

Depending on when your house was built, there could be harmful and toxic substances located within the structure, paint, and finishings of your home. For houses built before 1978, there is a high chance that lead-based paint is located across the interior and exterior of a home. Toxic metals in this paint can cause serious health problems if the paint chips or dust is inhaled. Although lead is poisonous to everyone, it has a significant impact on young children and pregnant women. To avoid the dangerous health risks associated with lead paint, seek out professionals for lead paint testing or try an at home testing kit to identify any possible problems.

Testing for asbestos is crucial before beginning your home renovation projects. Prior to 1980, asbestos was used in a variety of building materials. Inhaling asbestos fibers that have been disturbed can cause inflammation and tumors to develop in the lungs. Over time, this damage may lead to a rare cancer known as mesothelioma. These airborne fibers are extremely hazardous and homeowners should not attempt to remove or disturb asbestos on their own. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), suggest having a licensed and certified asbestos abatement professional inspect the home to determine if asbestos-containing materials are present and what steps to take for a safe removal.

In addition to toxic substances like lead paint and asbestos, beware of the threats caused by mold that thrive in damp locations like drywall, basements, and bathrooms. Exposure to these types of substances could ultimately be damaging to you and your loved one’s health. Seek out professional removal services for assessments as well as the best procedure before starting your renovation project.

Always Be Prepared

Despite taking protective measures, accidents are likely to occur. At the start of your DIY project, make sure you have a first aid kit ready for any small scrapes or cuts. If a serious injury was to occur, seek care from a medical professional as soon as possible. Update the fire extinguisher at your workstation in case of a possible electrical or chemical fire. Finally, if you are unsure of the next steps for your DIY , seek out professional help. Stay cautious, never start a project well tired, and remain positive when tackling your renovation projects.

The Evolution of You

Looking back over the course of your life, have you ever wanted to meet your past younger self?  

I don't know about you, but I have been very different people over the course of my life so far.  Whilst my core being has stayed the same in terms of my values, the person that I am has undergone so many changes of the years that I am not sure if I would recognise myself if I was to meet me at a different age.

I think of it as being the same person, but simply a different shade or colour.  We are like bell peppers really (bare with me on this).  It wasn't until recently that I learned that yellow, orange, green and red peppers are not different variety of peppers, but merely at a different stage of ripening.  That feels a lot like me.

Everyone has challenges in their life and everyone has a journey that they go on, no matter how large or small.  My journey has been one of finding confidence, finding self esteem, finding body confidence, finding my voice.  I tried to put descriptive labels on some of my different stages.  I share (some) here:

Age 15  -  I am the fat girl in school.  I want to fit in.  There is still wonderment and hope in the world.  I have hope for my future.  I want to be thin so people will like me.

Age 21 - I am so lost.   I am scared. 

Age 30 - There are people on the internet that think like me, that look like me, that say what they think..........  I'm not good enough.

Age 33 - I am writing.  I am wearing colour for the first time.  A LOT of colour.  I am still terrified of rejection.  I still don't feel good enough.

Today (aged 39.99 years) I am never scared to say what I think.  I probably say too much.  My wardrobe of beautiful, colourful dresses is overflowing.  I have confidence in both myself and my courage of conviction.  I have a fella who makes me feel sexy.  I have amazing friends.  I have self worth.

I am happier today than I have ever been in my life.  This happiness is as a result of the journey of life that I have been on.  The challenges that I have set myself.  The heartbreak and the loves.  The highs, the lows.   The girl who decided to become a woman and make her life as she wanted it to be.

I am proud of just how far that I have come in my life and you know what?  I would love to meet 21 year old me.  To give her advice, to give her a boost.  To tell her that she is going to be ok.  

To tell her that she will never suit red hair, no matter how many times she tries over the years to make it work (written now with another shade of red).

What challenges in your life have changed you?

If you are looking for other blogs to read, you can't go far wrong with reading Let Them Be Small

Gone In a Puff of Smoke

Everything has its own time.  That is something I truly believe.

I am never one to be pushed into anything and for me to make a big change in my life, the planets usually have to align perfectly with a touch of magic in the air, or the change will not stick.  When I make that jump though, the right jump, I never look back.

The last time I did this, I completed changed the person that I am.  I went from a very shy, under confident girl who never voiced her own opinion and wore black 24/7 to the person I am today.  Still shy, but unafraid to say what I think, a wardrobe full of colour and a smile on my face.

The very first photograph of me after ditching my all black wardrobe

A few weeks ago I wrote about why I never make New Years Resolutions. Mostly because I do not like to be forced into anything, even by myself.  Changes in my life have to be organic.

So, on the 7th January, the planets aligned and I decided that this was the day I was going to stop smoking.  There were a number of factors that made my decision for me.  The fact that my 40th birthday is looming and I was determined not to be a smoker by then.  The cost.  That I was the remaining smoker in my friend group.  My health.

Today, 23 days later and I have not smoked a cigarette since.  The first week was not easy.  I decided to stop smoking using the cold turkey method as I did not want to use aids or patches and draw out the process.  This works for me, I know using patches etc works brilliantly for others.

Something has changed in me this time though.  An internal flick of a switch.  I know that I won't start smoking again.  A certainty that I can feel.  I cannot explain it.

I have stopped smoking before, for 2 years in fact and started again due to stress.   I then stopped last year for a month, only to be lured back in again after a night out.  Each time I stopped, I knew that I was not done with cigarettes.  This time, I think that the end has come.

I will keep you posted!

Want to check out some more blogs?  Check out Chilling with Lucas which is a fantastic family blog.

Steps to Take to Stop Unnecessary Buying

Are you the kind of person who discovers when you get home that you’ve managed to buy another leopard print dress that is almost identical to the two you have in your wardrobe? 

If you’ve noticed that somewhere between leaving the tills and taking everything out of your bag that the buzz of purchasing new things has gone, it might be time to start reassessing your spending. Here are some ways to manage your money and start thinking carefully about saving up.

Know What you Have

Take some time to assess your current finances. Work out your incomings and outgoings and look at what you’ve been doing with your disposable income. Look through the things you have already, from the gadgets in your kitchen to the shoes in the hall and note what’s there so you don’t start buying duplicates.

If something unexpected cropped up when you look through your statements from the last six months, alter your spending habits to account for similar sudden expenses in the future. For example, any home repairs or a car breakdown that you had to pay out for.

Once you know what you’re buying, you can start thinking of how you can plan your spending. Is there any way you can forego the morning coffee or the sales at your favourite brand in order to save some money? Making some small amends to how you spend your salary can go a long way to helping you save up.

Buy Things that Last

Do you need to get the latest phone or tablet, or can you hold on to what you have for now? If you’re someone who upgrades your tech as each new version is released, it might be worth investing in gadgets that are built to last a while in order to save money.

Similarly, if you have a dress that you love too much to wear or a car that you daren’t drive, you’re losing money in the long run. This is because you’re more likely to buy a cheaper version of the dress only to throw it away or pay for public transport to save making your car messy. Invest in something that’s high-quality that you’ll use again and again.

Avoid Temptation

If you’re a sucker for a sale or you fill up your lunch breaks by scrolling through promotional emails it might be time to make some changes. Start by unsubscribing to the sites that you know you’ll be most tempted by and try to avoid big events such as the January sales or Black Friday.

Unless you’re a savvy shopper, the bargains you think you’re getting won’t add up if you’re buying things you want rather than things you need. That’s not to say you can’t treat yourself every now and then but get the practical purchases out of the way first. 

Looking for more ways to save money?  Check out SavvyInSomerset for more money saving tips!

Why I Refuse To Make A New Years Resolution

I don't believe in making resolutions at New Year.  I don't see the point.  Change, if it is something that you really want, comes in its own time and at the right moment.  It cannot be forced.   

What I am doing this year and what I think we all should do, is look back over the past year and look at the positives in it.  Look at the happy moments, look at the things that you have learnt throughout the year, be it about yourself, about others or more about what interests you.

I don't see the point in putting pressure on yourself to lose weight, change your personality, change your love life status, change who you are.  Change, if you wish change at all, has to be organic, natural and must come from the heart.  That is where happiness starts.

What is the point is ending a year telling yourself that you are not good enough?  That you need to change?  Work on yourself and change (if you want it) will happen.  You are always good enough.

There have been changes in me in the past year.  All have taken time, all have come organically through learning, self reflection and thought.  I know myself so much better at the end of this year than at the start of the last.  

These changes in my outlook, personality and life came slowly.   None were planned and as is so important in change, I only realised the difference in myself after the journey.

  

So looking back at the past year, have I changed?  Absolutely.  I have learned things, I have worked on my soul and my mental health.  I am happier.

This is my positivity list for this year.

• I swept away previous bad experiences with online dating and found the courage to try again, being wholly me this time (I had feminist in my description instead of just the usual "friendly, happy, sometimes funny" rubbish).

• I have (with the help of inspiration and motivation of a certain gentleman), embraced the body that I have.  I have explored my sexuality and become a more confident person because of that.

• I have had less and less anxiety and depression issues as the year has progressed because I have looked inward at the causes, the triggers and talked more when the episodes have happened; instead of hiding them away.

• I have debated and talked about my thoughts and stances with others and in some cases, changed what I thought as a result, through learning.  I have grown.  See my post on non platforming

• Though I will always support women, support causes and talk about change and effect for women, I no longer identify as a feminist.  Something I never thought I would say.  This is an ongoing change which may well be reversed in time.  But as it stands, conversation has to be open, not regulated and regimented.

• I am going back to my roots.  I am writing, slowly, more opinion pieces of what I really think.  It is what makes my happy, feeds my soul and helps me to collect my thoughts, my ideals and what I believe.

None of the above could been achieved with a New Year's resolution.  They came through learning, through reflection and through my heart.  

So instead this year, instead of vowing to join a gym, find a boyfriend or change your personality; celebrate you.  Celebrate your achievements, however small, throughout the year. All this "New Year, New You" rubbish is just that, rubbish.  It brings you down, not raises you up.

The most important journey of your life is to learn who you are.  Learn what makes you happy.  That is the best and most significant thing you will ever do.

xxx 

The Snowflake Generation

What is a snowflake?

A snowflake is a unique.  No snowflake is ever alike.   Depending on the temperature it can either melt on impact; or join other snowflakes and create snow.   Snow that can be moved and coerced into a different shape, or frozen so hard that it can sink the Titanic. 

Why am I talking about snowflakes today?  Someone posed a question recently that has been whirling around in my head.  

Why is this generation called "Generation Snowflake" when in fact, it is the older generations that just can't handle confrontation and question of their thoughts?  

But the thing is, it isn't just the older generation that uses the term.

Where is the age line drawn and is it an age line at all?  I am 39 and am regularly called a snowflake; usually for calling out a behaviour or rhetoric that I didn't believe in or found offensive.  Yet I have been called a snowflake by both people in their 50s and 60s and by people in their early 20s.

So the line isn't an age thing.  It is a believe system, borne as a result of how and what you educate yourself in, the family you are born into and what they believe, the circles you move in and your own moral code and beliefs.

For me, it comes down to fear and insecurity.  

In terms of misogyny and sexism, it also comes down to entitlement.  In the 50s and 60s you could get away with slapping the bottom of your secretary or paying women less than men for the same job.  Men grew up for centuries believing that women were (in decreasing terms over the years, slowly) property, second class citizens, objects.   The fact that women now can demand the same wages, control of their own bodies and the right to touch them is something that generations of men are not used to, whether in lived experience or what they have grown up to expect.

I see many articles now after the #metoo movement of men saying that you cannot brush past a woman without being accused of sexual assault and that rape accusations are mostly "regret of actions".  Yet we have rape trials in 2018 where what type of underwear a woman was wearing is called into question.  Where her past sexual experiences is somehow relevant.   Where a man can be given 90 days house arrest for the rape of a child, yet a woman killing someone she was "given to" at 16 to rape at will, in order to escape, is given a 51 year sentence.

If you are truly scared that a woman is going to accuse you of sexual assault for brushing past her, then I am truly scared of you, because it reveals what you truly think you are entitled to.

When it comes to racism, transphobia, homophobia, xenophobia; this is when it turns to fear and insecurity.  

Not that long ago you could listen to that man, or woman, in the pub spouting off about how they thought that being gay should still be illegal, that black people were (somehow, I don't understand it, will never understand it) worth less than white people, how transgender people were "looking for attention".  

People would nod, smile and agree with this person in public, while at home, completely disagree with their views.  No one would question the rhetoric.  Thinking that their views are disgusting but showing support/compliance in public but disagreeing in private.  So who is scared exactly?

The so called "Generation Snowflake", which actually compromises all ages, is not afraid to call people out on antiquated beliefs and thoughts.  They question, argue, reason, debate.  Yet we are called the weak generation for daring to rock the boat that believes that Christian straight, white men (and the women who follow them) should and do rule the world.

I truly believe that people should be able to say what they want, with the exception of inciting violence.  Let them stand on their pulpits and shout their views to the world, let us see just how small, how scared and insecure they really are.

If I call you out for something that you have said, asking you to defend your statement and all you retort back is "snowflake" and "are you triggered?" then you have no platform based on anything other than lack of education, hate and bigotry.  

If you are so scared of being argued with, are you the true snowflake?