Showing posts with label NewYear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NewYear. Show all posts

29 December 2018

Why I Refuse To Make A New Years Resolution

I don't believe in making resolutions at New Year.  I don't see the point.  Change, if it is something that you really want, comes in its own time and at the right moment.  It cannot be forced.   

What I am doing this year and what I think we all should do, is look back over the past year and look at the positives in it.  Look at the happy moments, look at the things that you have learnt throughout the year, be it about yourself, about others or more about what interests you.

I don't see the point in putting pressure on yourself to lose weight, change your personality, change your love life status, change who you are.  Change, if you wish change at all, has to be organic, natural and must come from the heart.  That is where happiness starts.

What is the point is ending a year telling yourself that you are not good enough?  That you need to change?  Work on yourself and change (if you want it) will happen.  You are always good enough.

There have been changes in me in the past year.  All have taken time, all have come organically through learning, self reflection and thought.  I know myself so much better at the end of this year than at the start of the last.  

These changes in my outlook, personality and life came slowly.   None were planned and as is so important in change, I only realised the difference in myself after the journey.

So looking back at the past year, have I changed?  Absolutely.  I have learned things, I have worked on my soul and my mental health.  I am happier.

This is my positivity list for this year.

  • I swept away previous bad experiences with online dating and found the courage to try again, being wholly me this time (I had feminist in my description instead of just the usual "friendly, happy, sometimes funny" rubbish).
  • I have (with the help of inspiration and motivation of a certain gentleman), embraced the body that I have.  I have explored my sexuality and become a more confident person because of that.
  • I have had less and less anxiety and depression issues as the year has progressed because I have looked inward at the causes, the triggers and talked more when the episodes have happened; instead of hiding them away.
  • I have debated and talked about my thoughts and stances with others and in some cases, changed what I thought as a result, through learning.  I have grown.  See my post on non platforming
  • Though I will always support women, support causes and talk about change and effect for women, I no longer identify as a feminist.  Something I never thought I would say.  This is an ongoing change which may well be reversed in time.  But as it stands, conversation has to be open, not regulated and regimented.
  • I am going back to my roots.  I am writing, slowly, more opinion pieces of what I really think.  It is what makes my happy, feeds my soul and helps me to collect my thoughts, my ideals and what I believe.

None of the above could been achieved with a New Year's resolution.  They came through learning, through reflection and through my heart.  

So instead this year, instead of vowing to join a gym, find a boyfriend or change your personality; celebrate you.  Celebrate your achievements, however small, throughout the year. All this "New Year, New You" rubbish is just that, rubbish.  It brings you down, not raises you up.

The most important journey of your life is to learn who you are.  Learn what makes you happy.  That is the best and most significant thing you will ever do.


2 August 2013

The End is Nigh

First of all, phew!!  That was much more hard of a slog than I ever thought it was going to be.  Posting every day, plus doing your normal blogs is damn hard work, especially also trying to juggle a full time job and some semblance of a social life!

Thank you to all the other ladies involved in this challenge who took up the gauntlet with me.  I think I managed to do about 27 of the 30 which isn’t bad, although I think Nikki from Natty Nikki has to do all 30 and I can only applaud.

On the original list that I used, Day 30 was supposed to be entitled “Letting Go” whilst Day 31, which I didn’t notice (hence the name of the challenge) was “A Vivid Memory”.   I am swapping these days around and stopping at Day 30.  I will, along with a few others I bet, be falling to the floor in exhaustion after that many posts, and sharing that many things.

So on to Day 30 – A Vivid Memory

In 2009 my best friends and I decided to go away for the New Year break to Portugal.   This was the first really bad Winter that England had had and frankly we were grateful to be anywhere that didn’t have snow.

On New Year’s Eve we decided to go out for a meal and a cocktail or two.  After a cocktail or four we ended up at small local Portuguese bar, right near the beach a little before midnight.

As New Year hit and fireworks were being set off on the cliff nearby, we decided to run down the beach to the sea (cocktail fuelled).  I remember standing there, with my toes in the sea, happy, with my best friends and thinking that there was nowhere on earth than I would rather be.


Now you will notice that behind us in this picture is a wave.    We didn’t notice this wave until it hit us, covering us waist deep in sea water.  Oops.

It didn’t matter.  We laughed, rung the sea water out of our clothes and went back to the bar for a drink, where the locals, bundled up in big coats called us “You crazy English”!  We were.  That’s part of why we get on so well.

Check out the other ladies for the last time in the challenge.  Thank you for reading.

19 December 2012

One Busy Year

Christmas is always the time when I look back and reflect on the year, what has happened and how things have changed.

This year has been a massive year for accomplishments. I have set myself goal after goal this year and whilst I have achieved some, there is still work to be done in others. So here is what has been happening.

Improve Self Confidence
The ongoing theme this year has been for me to try and improve my self confidence. Figuring out what makes me tick, fixing some of my issues by confronting them has been at the forefront this year. I can honestly say I’ve made more progress in this one year than probably my whole life.

Lessons Learnt
Face the things at the back of your mind that scare you. Even the ones you have under lock and key with a “Don’t Open This Door” sign. , If you don’t, they will haunt you forever.

People can only treat you badly if you allow them to.


Puffing the Year Away
On the 16th April 2012 I made the decision to stop smoking. I am the type of person who once a decision is made, I stick to my guns. For stopping smoking, that is a good way to be. Going from 20 a day to zero on cold turkey isn’t easy, but it’s now been eight months and I know I will never go back.

Lessons Learnt
If you put your mind to something, you can do anything.

Educating Vicky
I’ve started an Open University degree. This will take about one hundred years to complete, but it’s been something I have thought about for years and finally I’ve bitten the bullet.

If someone had said to me at the start of this year that by the end of it I would be posting about the clothes I wear and posting pictures of myself, full length, wearing them I would have told them they were crazy. No way, no how. Yet a few weeks ago I started on the plus size blogging journey.

I don’t know what I expected actually. Abuse and put downs probably with by my entire Twitter list unfollowing me in horror. Ok slight exaggeration there, but the response that I have received has been awesome.

Lessons Learnt
You are not as horrible as you think you are. Put yourself out there, no one ever got anyway hiding in a corner.

So there you go. My year in retrospect. What will next year bring? Who knows. But I can’t wait for it.

I wish everyone who reads this a very Happy Christmas. Drink too much, laugh too loud, dance away the night and above all, cherish the people that you love.