I don't believe in making resolutions at New Year. I don't see the point. Change, if it is something that you really want, comes in its own time and at the right moment. It cannot be forced.
What I am doing this year and what I think we all should do, is look back over the past year and look at the positives in it. Look at the happy moments, look at the things that you have learnt throughout the year, be it about yourself, about others or more about what interests you.
I don't see the point in putting pressure on yourself to lose weight, change your personality, change your love life status, change who you are. Change, if you wish change at all, has to be organic, natural and must come from the heart. That is where happiness starts.
What is the point is ending a year telling yourself that you are not good enough? That you need to change? Work on yourself and change (if you want it) will happen. You are always good enough.
There have been changes in me in the past year. All have taken time, all have come organically through learning, self reflection and thought. I know myself so much better at the end of this year than at the start of the last.
These changes in my outlook, personality and life came slowly. None were planned and as is so important in change, I only realised the difference in myself after the journey.
So looking back at the past year, have I changed? Absolutely. I have learned things, I have worked on my soul and my mental health. I am happier.
This is my positivity list for this year.
- I swept away previous bad experiences with online dating and found the courage to try again, being wholly me this time (I had feminist in my description instead of just the usual "friendly, happy, sometimes funny" rubbish).
- I have (with the help of inspiration and motivation of a certain gentleman), embraced the body that I have. I have explored my sexuality and become a more confident person because of that.
- I have had less and less anxiety and depression issues as the year has progressed because I have looked inward at the causes, the triggers and talked more when the episodes have happened; instead of hiding them away.
- I have debated and talked about my thoughts and stances with others and in some cases, changed what I thought as a result, through learning. I have grown. See my post on non platforming
- Though I will always support women, support causes and talk about change and effect for women, I no longer identify as a feminist. Something I never thought I would say. This is an ongoing change which may well be reversed in time. But as it stands, conversation has to be open, not regulated and regimented.
- I am going back to my roots. I am writing, slowly, more opinion pieces of what I really think. It is what makes my happy, feeds my soul and helps me to collect my thoughts, my ideals and what I believe.
None of the above could been achieved with a New Year's resolution. They came through learning, through reflection and through my heart.
So instead this year, instead of vowing to join a gym, find a boyfriend or change your personality; celebrate you. Celebrate your achievements, however small, throughout the year. All this "New Year, New You" rubbish is just that, rubbish. It brings you down, not raises you up.
The most important journey of your life is to learn who you are. Learn what makes you happy. That is the best and most significant thing you will ever do.