The Lindsay Clancy Case Has Turned People Insane

I don't want to talk about the whys and wherefores. I don't want to talk about whether she did it, whether she was insane at the time, whether her husband did it.

I have my personal opinions of course, but that is not the point of this post today.

This trial has proved, beyond any other before it that cameras do not belong in a court room.  Reporters, yes.  But the wave of insanity, pardon the pun, that has come around with this case is like nothing I have ever seen.

Everyone has an opinion.  But respect, and thought of those three poor children who died, who were murdered; seems to have gone out of the window.

Opinions have been decided, camps have been formed and honestly. at this point, everyone has lost track of what is important.

This case is about three children.  Three children that should not be used as a political football.  Three children that are being used to push agendas.

There are those of course who have looked at the evidence, looked at the testimony and have formed their own opinions.  That is their right.  That is our right.  But people have taken this case and blown it so far out of proportion that everything else has been lost.  

No one, except Lindsay Clancy and possibly Patrick will ever know what actually happened on that awful day.  The jury will make the decision from a legal stand point.  

But the focus of this case has moved away from the actual case itself and has moved into two main camps.  Both to be honest at their extreme points have lost all reason.   They have moved the case into men versus women.  Women versus men.

On the one side you have women protesting at the Court house.  Wearing pink shirts and decrying "We could all be Lindsay".  No, we couldn't.  Post natal depression turning into psychosis is rare.  

Statistics tell us that it affects 0.1% of women.  This rises to 20% if you have bi-polar 1 disorder or schizoaffective disorder after a first baby.  If you have had previous post natal psychosis with a pregnancy, this rises again to 50%.

So a woman can have experienced post natal depression with a previous pregnancy, as is the case with Lindsay, and still only at 0.1% risk of psychosis.

Is post natal depression awful?  Yes.  It can be.   But it can also be treated.  With medication.  With counselling.  With support.  But it is not the same as post natal psychosis and it is disrespectful to say "I could be Lindsay" when you truly have no idea of how far down that rabbit hole can take a person.

The women that are attending the Court, protesting, claiming to know how she felt, really have no clue and again, it is wholly disrespectful.  To her, to the proceedings and to those children.

Then you have the other side.  The people, both men and women, though more of the former; who claim that if Lindsay Clancy "gets off" and by this they mean is found not guilty by way of insanity; that it opens a flood gates for all women to kill their children and get off scot off.

Firstly, if she is found not guilty by reason of insanity, that is not getting off with anything.  She will be placed in a mental facility.  As a side note to this, I believe that anyone, men or women who receive their verdict should be placed in a mental facility for life.  If you have taken a life, you do not, should not, get a second chance.  That does not mean however that those people belong in prison.  They belong in a secure mental facility and should stay there.

There are nine women and three men on the jury.  Apparently that means that the women will be biased, as if women do not have logical thought and reason.

There are calls for women to lose the vote if Lindsay Clancy is found NGRI.  That women should not serve on jury trials.  That women should not hold important positions.  That questions should be asked in job interviews.  Because "hormones" can kill.

This is far more than hormones.  This is psychosis.  Rare.  But real.

If you have killed with intent, you deserve prison.  But claiming that a woman experiencing hormones can be capable of murder is, and again pardon the pun, insane.

This trial has shown that the internet, TikTok, Facebook and Twitter have no place in showing trials.  It has brought out the absolute worst in people.  A trial belongs in the court room, not on social media.

Neither men nor women are coming out of this looking good.  From the "I could be Lindsay" crowd to the "women can't be trusted, take us back to the 18th century crowd".

Three children are dead. They died horrifically. however and whoever did it.  But they have been lost in this trial and the social media furor.  It is time that they were found.

Why Perimenopause Set Me Free

 I have always been a person who internalised their emotions.  Not just internalised, compartmentalised.

What I have come to realise since hitting perimenopause is that I am no longer that person and letting my emotions out is something that I am not used to.  At all.

When you internalise and compartmentalise your emotions, it becomes all about control.   You become fully in control of your emotions in respect as to who you let see the real you.

When I was at my lowest part of my life barely anyone knew and if they did; they had truly no idea how far down the rabbit hole to depression- and yes, suicidal thoughts - I had fallen. 

Because I did not let them see.

There were reasons, and more reasons, as to why I became this way.  But that is the way I was.  For decades. 

On the outside, I was happy. Smiling.  Easy going.  On the inside, I was far from that.

The brain is a clever thing.  But it can also deceive you. 

Because it turns out that if you try to convince the outside world for long enough that you are happy and not sad, you start to believe your own lie.  And when you do that, something else happens. 

You stop feeling. 

Not completely. You still function. You still laugh. You still go out. You still have conversations and live your life.

I remember with absolute clarity one day - thankfully a good ten years ago – when I realised that I was not feeling.  Because that one day, the world decided to let me. 

I was walking down the street with my dog, sunshine on my face, with a night out with friends ahead of me.  I suddenly realised that I felt happy.  That I was excited for the night ahead.  I felt it.

The next second after, it hit me.  I could not remember the last time I felt a positive emotion.  Actually felt one.  It felt like I had been living in a dark cave for over a decade and had crawled out, finally escaping into sunlight.

That day was the first day, of many, of the path back to myself.

I regained my ability to feel again and I am truly happy in my life, yet I still try to hide my emotions.  I was still so tied to the idea that people shouldn’t experience me experiencing negative emotions.  I had to put my good side forward.  Even after healing so much of myself, that was a hard one to break.  It was locked in.

Then, perimenopause hit. 

Suddenly, the control was gone. 

Emotions hit where they pleased and there was no hiding them.  It was impossible.  When I am sad, it shows.  When I am angry, it shows.

Perimenopause gives no fucks frankly.  You feel when you feel.  If your body wants to cry, you are damn well crying.  If your body decides you are angry or frustrated, people know about it.

And you know what?  It is liberating as hell. 

Firstly, because I know that these emotions are hormonal.  They are not because of any pain or sadness.  That is behind me.  I’ve dealt with that.   Which makes feeling them is easier, because my body is doing what my body is choosing to do.  I am not actually sad, or angry.  It is my hormones.  It will pass.

My hormones are in control of me right now.  Not my brain.  Which means, the control that I desperately held on to for decades was gone.  I am free from the walls that I built.  There is nothing but dust left. 

What perimenopause has given me, surprisingly, is freedom.  Because I can no longer, and frankly do not want to, hide my emotions anymore; they are forced out.  Which means people see me and want to check that I am ok, I answer honestly.  I do not hide and say, “Oh I am fine!” and smile.

There is a lot of temporary stress in my life at the moment, which will be sorted and will pass, but is not helping my hormones.  So I am letting, for the first time in my life, my hormones rule me.

I let myself stress out and have a mini meltdown.  Because I feel better afterwards.  I let myself cry if I need to.  Because I feel better afterwards.  If I need to talk or vent I do.  Because I feel better afterwards.

Perimenopause has set me free from the constraints that I imposed on myself in showing emotion and my life is better as a result.

What life has taught me in the past few years is look for the positives and embrace them.  Because they are always there if you look hard enough. 

And surprisingly, this is the benefit of perimenopause.

It took away my control.  And gave me my freedom.