Dear Fat People - My Thoughts

WORDY POST

TRIGGER WARNING -  Fat shaming quotes shared from Twitter  - taken during #fatshamingweek

A couple of days ago a video appeared in my Facebook timeline.  Yes "that video" by comedian (and I use that term loosely) Nicole Arbour.

It has taken me a few days to process my thoughts about this video.  In one way, you have to hand it to her.  She pitched the video to be controversial and prime click bait.  The fat haters watch to nod, agree and cheer, the fat people watch the video to see what hated looks like this week and then the media gets involved and it snowballs.  She then takes down her channel, claiming Youtube did it, then reactivates just when she knows that people will be searching for it.  She has a business head on her, pity that she does not have a heart.

The video itself is, to be honest, a bit sad, pathetic and more than a little jaded.  She rolls out the old tired insults that fat people are "lazy, disgusting, inconsiderate and they smell" (of sausages apparently).  Maybe ten years ago those words may have been fat shaming comedy gold but now, sweetheart, I have heard more creative insults from a random man on the street.

She ends by saying that she isn't saying these hateful things to be an asshole (too late on that one), she in fact loves us "no matter what" but that she hopes that her "bomb of truth" so that people can enjoy us for longer on this planet.  She says, whilst completely dehumanizing fat people and talking about us as if we are no more than things, there to ridicule and insult for your entertainment.

Aside from the fact (pretty obvious but here is a research link) that fat shaming does not work and in fact can backfire badly (now there is a truth bomb for you Nicole); I have to wonder why anyone would think it would?

Here are a few comments from #fatshamingweek on Twitter (wait, I thought that it did not exist?)

Quotes taken from Blisstree

I was myself targeted by trolls especially that week, telling me the fact that I was fat made me worthless.

We are told that if you are fat, it does matter if you have an education, that we have low standards, that "fat means yes" (more than a little rapey) and that we should kill ourselves if dieting fails.

That is the thing though, fat shaming does not work, it dehumanizes people, it strikes a knife into their heart, causes depression far more than fat on your body ever could and can sometimes kill.

This video does not hold any power over me.  I have, as I have said, heard much, much worse and the blatant "subscribe, subscribe" comes across as needy and pathetic.  When I first saw it yes I was incensed with anger and hurt, but not from her words.  It was the fact that people who knew me thought it appropriate to share. 

Let us be clear, that video is not "satire" as many people like to label cruel things to justify themselves, it is not funny and is abhorrent.  What does hurt, is that people think it appropriate to share as if it was nothing.  Would you say these things to my face?  Would you label me a "thing" and disgusting and lazy?  Would you to my face dehumanize me to the point where I am simply a creature to be taunted?  Would you stand there, point and laugh at me.  No.  

The age of the internet allows us to share our thoughts and opinions in a way that we never could before, as I frequently do on here.  It also gave rise to the age of the troll and a place where one stupid video can give rise to yet another torrent of hatred; and that is dangerous.

So before you share a video or an article, think about what you are actually sharing and what sharing it actually makes you as a person.  I will give you a hint, it isn't a good one.

I will leave you with my current favourite, meme.  To all those who create these videos, think these thoughts and put them out in the world, ready to hurt:

Life Through a Gif

Bit of a random post tonight.

Late to the party as always, I have fallen a little bit in love with the animated gif.  

More than one of these endless "50 questions" type quizzes that go around and that I have completed in the past, a gif can perfectly express who you are and what you are feeling.  They say a picture can tell a thousand words, so I am having a go with a gif series!

I decided to share a little story that takes me from before I started blogging to now.  If anyone else wants to join in with this, feel free!

Before I started blogging

How I felt wearing anything other than black

When I read my first plus size fashion blog 
and realised that fat people are allowed to be happy too

Accepting a compliment

The Exact Moment I realised that I was now happy in my own skin

What I do now when someone tries to put me down
(because no one does it like The Rock)

I  put a shout out on my Facebook page and Twitter recently asking for people to guest post and share their own stories and perspectives,  First one up tomorrow!

Vicky xx

Coco Chanel Quotes

Sometimes I think that I may live my life according to quotes from Coco Chanel.  She said so many things that are true in life that you need to always remember.  My favourite quotes from Coco are those about being self confident in who you are:

"Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself"

"The most courageous act is still to think for yourself.  Aloud"

"I don't care what you think about me.  I don't think about you at all."

Being "fierce" didn't start with Beyonce.  It started with this lady.

One other quote I love from Coco Chanel is this one:

"The best things in life are free.  The second best things are very expensive"

The best things in life are free, this is true.   Love, friendship and loyalty all come for free, but you have to work hard in order to attain and maintain them.  I believe that you get out of life what you put into it and what you receive in return is of a far greater value than anything you can buy.

Love, friendship and loyalty are in my eyes the most valuable things in the world and without them the world would not shine as bright.  If you have all of these things in your life then you are winning.

The second best things in life are all things that we could do without, that we do not need, but add a little sparkle.  With that in mind, tomorrow's post is about diamonds!

                       Facebook / Twitter / Bloglovin / Instagram

A Letter to the 15 Year Old Me

Bit of a wordy one this. 

Your life is a journey that each of us takes.  The only certainties are the beginning and the end.  The path that takes you there differs for everyone and the path is of our own choosing. 

In many ways, that path starts in our teenage years.  The choices we make, the people who we decide to be and the influences around us all fit together to formulate the future person.

When I was a teenager, I was so worried about what people thought of me.  I wanted so desperately to fit in.  I would change myself in order to fit in with what was required.  I was convinced that I was not good enough as I was.

I have seen many people write letters to their former selves; giving tips and reassurances about the people that they will become.  Today I am writing that note to the past me, who still lingers in the halls of my memory.

To Me, Age 15

From Me, Age 35

You Don't Need to Change Yourself

One of the biggest lessons that you will learn is that is ok to be yourself.  As soon as you allow yourself to embrace who you are, happiness comes.  The people around you: your family, your friends, they already see the real you and they love you.

When you eventually let out that person who at the moment only exists in private, you will discover that people have been waiting for this to happen for years.

She will grow in so many ways once you let her out of the cupboard.  You will find it impossible to believe, but in twenty years time you will have a blog, you will write part time, you will be a feminist.  You will have opinions and be passionate about them.  You will be strong.  You will be happy.

You Will Still Be Fat (but you will be ok with that)

Will it destroy you to know that in twenty years you will still be fat?  At the moment you just want to fit in and be attractive to boys.  Underneath a lot of layers you don't, admit it, actually mind the way that you look, but you are too preoccupied with what other people are telling you that you should look like, that you are ignoring yourself.

One day you will realise that you like the way that you look.  That it does not matter what other people think.  You are going to run a plus size fashion blog one day.  You will be addicted to busy patterns and dresses.  Do not shake your head in disbelief, it is true.  You will be happy.

A Boy

One day, not too many years from now, you will meet a boy.   To be with him will feel like the sun is shining on you.  I have one word of advice.  Run.

You may think you are in the sunshine, but what you will realise when things end like the explosion of a bomb, is that you were not bathing in sunlight; you were deluded and hidden away in the shadows.  You deserve better than that.  You will move on and a lesson will have been learned.  You will be happy.

Things to Remember

You have a strong will, use it.  There is confidence in there, embrace it.  You can write, do it.  You deserve love.  Don't wait for x, y  and z to happen, just go out and live.  Say yes more.  Do not let fear concur you.  Buy those red shoes.

I will end this with a quote which means a lot to me these days.

"You are enough. 

Not because you not because you did or said or bought or thought

or became or created something special,

but because you always were."

You will be happy.

The Image in the Mirror

*  This post was written for and posted by me on the Huffington Post last week.  I am also posting the article here too as the subject matter is one that means a lot to me and is a waving flag that I can look back on to see the progress I have made in my body confidence journey.

One thing that we are often told is that we always should strive to be better and in many ways, I agree.  Working hard to progress your career, creating goals and attaining them; developing your personality and the way you treat others; all of these things are beneficial to you.

Sometimes however, that strive to be different is not a good thing.  Sometimes, you are enough, just as you are.

When you look into the mirror, what do you see?  Do you see yourself as a whole, or a sum of parts?  For many people when they look into the mirror, the only things they see in their reflection are the things that they think, or have been told, need changing. 

Whether it is your weight, the size of your nose; the freckles on your skin or even the way that you dress; for many people, these perceived imperfections are the only thing that they see.  The person is lost in the image and only the flaws remain.

I cannot count the amount of times that I have looked into the mirror and seen only the things that I wanted to change.  I would look at my face and only see the bright scarlet freckle flashing at me like a beacon from the end of my nose, my eyebrow which is far higher than its counterpart; my far from chiselled jawline; my smile that I thought made me look stupid.  I would move past my neck and see the breasts which are the feature that most use to describe me "You know, her with the big tits", my short waist, my weight. 

I used to see so much in that mirror but what I failed to see was the person looking back at me.

Even the most confident people in their day-to-day lives can lose themselves in their reflection in a mirror.  One of the most confident women I know told me the other day that she wasn't attending an event where she was due to speak because "I am looking awful right now.  I don't want people staring at me". 

When I joined Instagram, I also joined the ranks of people that love taking a selfie.  At first, I could not understand why people enjoyed taking pictures of themselves; particularly as I usually shied away from the camera, which records the mirror image that I so often tore apart.  Then one day, a strange thing happened.  Something that when the thought first crossed my mind; it was in the form of a whisper as it shocked me so much.  I realised that I liked my face, just as it was.

By taking so many pictures of my face, I had started to look at it as a whole, rather than a list of good features versus bad.  This carried on until finally today when I looked into a full-length mirror and realised that I liked what I saw.  I saw my whole self and thought, "You know what, I look good today".

Liking what you see when you look into a mirror is not vanity and should not be dismissed as such.  There is a vast difference between being narcissistic and simply accepting yourself for the way you are and what you look like. 

I look exactly the same now as I did when I would analyse each part.  My weight, my body shape, my messy hair, the innumerable amount of things that I thought wrong with my face, they are all still there.  The difference now is that I look at my face, not my freckle.  I see my personality coming through it.  I look at my whole body, not at what is large and what is not.  I see me.

If you can look into the mirror at yourself as a whole and not judge the reflection staring back at you, then you have won the battle against insecurity.  If you can look in the mirror and see not just a collection of parts that you rate on a sliding scale, but instead, your personality and spirit shining through then you have not just won the battle, you have won the whole bloody war.

The truth behind our war with the mirror is that we have as a society separated the people who we are with the way that we look.  You are judged on the way you look before people even know your personality.  Every day we see airbrushed versions of celebrities in magazines where every flaw and blemish is erased and these images are held up as an example of what we should strive for.

From now on, I intend to strive for happiness.  It is perhaps society itself that needs to take a long good look in the mirror. 

The Power of the Selfie

You may be aware that one of my favourite sites FashionWorked allows me to take over once a month and write about whatever takes my fancy in a column called "The Plus Perspective".  (Not sure if he knew what he was letting himself in for!!).

 

Anyhow this month I am talking about taking selfies and confidence.  Here is an extract:

 

Strangely what I have realised whilst writing this post is that from my neck down I would never dream of apologising to someone about the way that I look. Indeed, my brain is saying to me “What? Why would you apologise you idiot”.

 

You can read more here

A Reminder

Because sometimes, just like today for me, we all need a reminder.

 

Confident Women

I heard someone say the other day that women were (and I quote verbatim) “Harping on about confidence and sexism all the time because they want something to moan about”.

For some it seems that because we got the right to vote, moved into the workplace and started to voice our own opinions, that we should somehow be content with our lot.  What I see however is a society that still seeks to control women, just in different ways.

We can vote, but the right to our own bodies is in question.  We can be confident, but that also makes us a bitch.  We can wear what we want, but that we also mean that we are “asking for it”.  We can have a career, but are judged for not staying home with the children. 

One thing we cannot do is be whatever size we want, and dress how we want without the media, trolls on the internet, even total strangers telling us that this is not how we are meant to look.  The ideal must be conformed too.

Society in one form or another is constantly telling us how to be, how to look, how to dress, how to behave.  The quest to look perfect has never been more prevalent then it is now.   It isn’t just men telling us how to look either, the pursuit of the right way to look has gotten so huge that women are doing it to each other.  That’s before you even get into the subject of trolls.

What I have noticed however, over the past year especially, is women pushing back against these constrictions and fighting against them.  Everything from the celebrities who speak out against being airbrushed in magazines, to the #notbuyingit campaign against the objectification of women in advertising, to bloggers of all sizes and shapes sharing their images online and being confident in who they are and what they look like.

I have seen the start of so many confidence journeys in the past year and to watch as their confidence grows is awe inspiring.  Seeing somebody who was previously insecure and under confident blossoming into someone who is sure of herself and happy is a privilege to watch.  There is a message that women are sending out which is gathering speed and is getting louder and louder.  You cannot tell me how I should look.

The 20^th century saw women gain the right to vote and step out from the kitchen.  Maybe the 21^st century will be remembered for women gaining the right to be able to look how they want and be themselves, not the image of what they are told they should be.

I Feel Good

You know sometimes when you spend ages getting ready for a night out, an event or even just a blog post, and the reflection in mirror isn't what you hoped? This challenge is for those times when you look in the mirror, no pre planning involved, and think "I look good today".

We all have our good days and our bad, but this challenge is to record those good days and to remember that confidence, at any size, is beautiful.

Today's photo is part of a series that I started on Tuesday.  A mini challenge to myself to publish a photograph of myself each day, with my tooth gap clearly visible and showing.  Not hiding it like I normally try to do.

Every day for as long as I can remember I have pushed my tongue back the gap in my teeth in photos because I hated it so much, but I have decided that now is the time to make peace with the gap.  It is part of me and it one of the things that make me who I am.

My #embracethegap photographs will appear until I feel comfortable with it, and here is today's (I feel like I am channeling Callie Thorpe in this picture, which is no bad thing!) :

Abi http://aisforabi.blogspot.co.uk/

Becky http://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.com/

Emma http://emmaatouchofsparkle.weebly.com/ 

Hollie http://prettybigbutterflies.com/

Karen http://toodulltoblog.blogspot.co.uk/

Kaye http://www.polishedcurves.com

Kitty http://misskittykaos.blogspot.co.uk/

Leah http://justmeleah.blogspot.co.uk/
Mhairi http://www.lilybobombslovelylumps.com/

Mookie http://muki7x7.blogspot.co.uk/

Natalie http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk 
Nikki http://nattynikki.blogspot.com

Vicky http://www.thecurvedopinion.com/

Creative Corner 7

It has been a long while since I have done anything in the Creative Corner series.

I find myself happiest when I write an opinion piece but somehow the creative writing draws me back in now and again.  

This is actually a rewrite of one of my earlier stories, which had been taken from a writing prompt of "The First Step".  

So here is "The Second Step".  

They say all you have to do in life is take that first step. One step and you can change your direction, your purpose and it can take you somewhere you only could dream of before.

I disagree.

I have taken many first steps in my life and I can tell you that it isn’t the first step that counts at all. It’s the second. The first step is tentative, non committal and still uncertain. The second step is your decision.

My marriage has been a series of first steps. In the beginning, the first steps were always taken with excitement as to what was to come. Our first date, getting engaged; buying a house.

As time moved on however these first steps changed. The first time he hit me, the first time he used my body without my consent; the first time I threatened to leave him; my first hospital visit. None of these steps were taken with my permission but they definitely took me to places I had never been before, nor wished to be.

There is another first step, sitting hidden away at the back of the wardrobe in the guest bedroom. A step of my own making. A bag, packed with clothes, some money, my passport. My bid for freedom.

The problem is, I have taken so many first steps, do I have the courage to take the second?  The one that takes me out of the door and to a new life. My hesitant first step has been sitting there, whispering to me in the black of night to escape.  Fear is my constant companion.

You need mettle for the second step.

So why I am I telling you this?  It is merely to tell you what you already know; that the second step is harder than the first?  No.  I tell you because you can waste your life away debating on that second step.  I tell you because I've taken mine, and you can too.  

I have left him.

Steely Eyed

I can let the feelings that I talked about yesterday define me, or I can man up and deal with them.

I refuse to let myself feel like this.  Insecurity is damn irritating; it is like a prison with invisible walls and the rules are always changing.

Today is steely eyed gaze.   Onwards.

 

 

Still Scared

Why does the journey never end? I really thought that I had cracked the confidence thing.  I have confidence in who and what I am now and I feel so much better for it.  I have torn down so many of the walls that I built around me and yet this week, I have discovered another.  An invisible double strength wall guarded by an armada. 

 

What I have realised is that when it comes to the opposite sex, I am still that scared insecure girl who wants to hide.

 

The problem is that I am too used to men wanting me but keeping me in the shadows.  Fancying me but yet denying me in public.  Being with me but trying to justify it to others. I allowed it to happen for so long that it feels like the norm and now I eye every guy with suspicion, no matter what the circumstances.

 

Right now for example I'm talking to a guy via text. It's a friend thing, a reconnection and nothing more and yet I keep saying to him, but have you read my blog?  Not because I want him to read my writing but to make sure that he knows what I look like.  I realised that I was doing this the other night and it freaked me the hell out.

I should say at this point that he has been nothing but nice to me either. 

 

I'm happy in so many ways now, I can take anything that society throws at me, except it seems when it comes to men.

 

I'm aware how utterly ridiculous this sounds.  If I saw any of the other bloggers I read saying this I would be shouting "But you're so pretty, don't be silly!" from the rooftops at them.  But when I apply that to myself and then connect it to men and suddenly I am running for cover, wanting to hide.

Do you remember me the post I did about the invisible "fuck off" sign on my head?  Well it appears that it is still there.....
 

Is it too late to make a New Year's resolution?  Stop putting myself down, even unconsciously....  The only problem in the equation is me, I know that. 

I am more than this.   My image is all over my blog, I have a million "selfie" pictures on Instagram, I've walked down a bloody catwalk FFS!!
 

I refuse to be so scared that I am making sure a guy friend has seen my picture before feeling comfortable enough to have a conversation.  That is just ridiculous.

 

I think I should retitle this blog post, "Dear Vicky, Stop Being An Idiot".

I Feel Good

I came up with this challenge because I wanted to share pictures that weren’t all camera ready, those that you just looked in the mirror, whatever you happened to be wearing and thought "I feel good today".

Last time out I wrote a post about how I didn't feel good that day, mentally any way, but that that was ok.  Well today what I am posting is the silly face.

Previously any photographs of me online have always been carefully chosen, at the right angle, certainly no silly face poses would ever be allowed to appear.  Well happily I am finally at a stage where I am happy with my face and so, I give you duck face!

Make sure to check out the other ladies in the challenge!

Becky http://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.com/

Hollie http://prettybigbutterflies.com/

Karen http://toodulltoblog.blogspot.co.uk/

Kaye http://www.polishedcurves.com

Laura http://laurapantslifestyle.blogspot.co.uk/
Leah http://justmeleah.blogspot.co.uk/
Mhairi http://www.lilybobombslovelylumps.com/

Natalie http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk
Nikki http://nattynikki.blogspot.com

Vicky http://www.thecurvedopinion.com/

The PS Community

I have seen a lot of talk recently regarding the plus size blogging community and how it seems to becoming more brand/clothing focussed rather than promoting body positivity and confidence.

I have read a few differing opinions on this subject, particularly after reading Gail’s thoughts on GailyGumDrops

The way that I see it is that everyone runs their own blog their own way.  It is a very personal thing, having a blog and you can have a myriad of reasons for running it.  My blog started because I loved to write, wanted somewhere I could vent my thoughts and this theme has carried on.  I do the plus size fashion alongside the thought and opinion pieces.  I never wanted it to be just one thing.

When it comes to being plus size and doing the fashion thing, I have written some pieces on body positivity and confidence but in the majority, the posts are me wearing pretty dresses.  I have worked with some brands which has been massively exciting for me, but if I never worked with another brand again, I would still be posting photographs.

Before starting fashion blogging I had no confidence, no body positivity and felt unworthy.  What inspired me to blog, like Gail, were pictures of other plus size women, wearing fantastic fashion and looking bloody brilliant.  It was their confidence in wearing those clothes that inspired me to grow and become who I am now. 

For me, a picture is worth a thousand words and those pictures of confident, fashionably, happy women did more than a dozen articles telling me how to be confident.

But that’s just me.  That’s my own journey and every person’s journey is personal to them.  Some are inspired by pictures, others by words, others by both.  There are some blogs that have pieces on body confidence that I have read over and over again, we all have own angles and our own stories. 

The plus size community is a diverse place, as it should be, and long may it continue.

Cracking the Heart Open

Day 24 - Your 3 Worst Traits

Everyone has bad traits. You can either work on them or embrace them, I am trying to work on mine.

Impatience

I have infinite amount of patience when it comes to waiting for things. Be it waiting for a long planned event or waiting for a long delayed bus to arrive, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Where impatience catches me out is when I am trying to teach someone to do something. If they don’t understand immediately I am instantly irritated. I have been actively working on this and am trying to improve.

Too Trusting

I wander around in the world with my heart on a plate. Like the Ood in Doctor Who, I automatically put my trust in people, give them my loyalty and once you are a good friend of mine; you get a little piece of my heart too.

For the most part this works well in a friendship and I have some absolutely amazing best friends whom I adore. It also works against me because I have had heartbreak when I have invested my emotions in people who weren't worth them.

Finally, the one I can't shake.....

Presumption

I was reading today the brilliant blog of Callie Thorpe From the Corners of the Curve She was talking about when she met her boyfriend and she presumed that he was a “chubby chaser” and it was only upon seeing a photograph of his ex size 8 girlfriend that she really believed that he loved her for being her. The whole of her.

That is what I want. My head and my heart both presume I can't have it. I walk into a room and I automatically presume that any men in that room wouldn't fancy me, wouldn't want to spend time with me; wouldn't want to be seen with me, would be embarrassed. I can't shake it.

I am much more confident than I used to be. I wear my clothes with confidence now and my head is raised a little higher than before. I have self esteem and self respect. I don't cross the road now when I see a group of people.

Except when thoughts of the opposite sex come into play. Then I am back to square one. Where I am still the girl that moved away from a date at the bar when his friends appeared, in case he would be embarrassed to be seen with me. I'm 34 for fuck's sake. I need to shake this feeling or I really will be alone forever.

No by the way, I don't need a man to “complete me”. But it would be kind of nice not to walk through all the days of my life with just me.

What the hell is it about blogging that makes you just slice your heart open and pour it onto a page? It is quite cathartic for me in some ways, but then you read something back at the later date and you can't quite believe that you were quite that open.

So there you go...... Day 24 of the #30DayBloggerChallenge.... It's surprising what comes out of your head when you start typing on a page....

Check out the other ladies, hopefully their traits will be a little more amusing than mine!!

Beth http://tinkerbellandthelostgirls.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Claire http://lifeonadifferentlevel.blogspot.co.uk/

Karen http://toodulltoblog.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Kaye http://www.polishedcurves.com 

Laura http://laurapantslifestyle.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Lisa http://lookingforlisa.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Mhairi http://www.lilybobombslovelylumps.com/ 

Natalie http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk 
Nikki http://nattynikki.blogspot.com 

Steph http://seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.uk/ 
Verena http://APlusSizeFashionObsession.blogspot.co.uk 

Vicky http://TheCurvedOpinion.com

Second Vlog

Two posts today!!  One blog and one vlog!

You can find the link to my Youtube video here Society v The Breast Issue

 

Old Toothy!

I'm writing this post further to the Flash the Flesh Challenge on Saturday, which is all about being happy and confident in yourself.  I wanted to do a short post today to tell you this little story which make me laugh about how silly I have been.

I have a gap in my teeth that I’ve hated all my life,  Every smile I’ve ever given has had my tongue pressed up right against the gap so you couldn’t see it as much.  It’s a ridiculous thing to do but I’ve always done it. 

Recently I decided to do a vlog post, found here.  What I immediately noticed upon watching it back, which had never occurred to me before, is that the gap is perfectly notable when I talk, so all these years of trying to hide it have been completely pointless!

I can’t believe that I’ve actually spent my whole life shoving my tongue behind the gap in my teeth, without ever realising that it was perfectly visible when I was speaking.  What a lunatic I am!  It also then of course dawned on me that it has also been visible to others and I had never had any bad comments about it, so why the worry and insecurity?

Sometimes the insecurities we have are ones that we force upon ourselves without any interference of society and other people’s opinions. 

What have you been insecure about that you have had no need to?

Flash the Flesh Challenge - Part 2!

When a group of bloggers join together for a chat you know that the final result has to be super!! This happened once more when, a few weeks ago, we were talking about our preferences between mini and maxi and Becky  thought that it would be great to create a challenge which goal was to show a little bit more skin and our body (but with style and no vulgarity) showing proudly our curves. And so it was born “Flash the Flesh”.

Last month on the Flash the Flesh challenge I showed a part of my blog that I like.  This month, I wanted to do something that I wasn’t as comfortable with showing, in this case my legs.

Although I don’t have an issue with my legs from the knees down, I don’t like my knees/thighs and any hem that came above that I have always made sure was worn with either tights or leggings.  I recently bought a dress for the summer from +Very.co.uk  though which is so pretty, but wouldn’t look right with anything but bare legs.

I tried this dress on several times, with different shoes and heels and in the end, I really like this dress so why should a little insecurity hold me back from keeping it? 

I really like this time and it is perfect for an afternoon out in the Summer.  I am not normally one for white dresses but I loved the style of this one.  It can be found here for the bargain price of £22.00.

My First Vlog

Hello all, posting my first ever vlog today.  Please excuse the scared rabbit in headlights look!

The vlog can be found on YouTube here!

Schooled for Confidence

I was watching a film over the weekend.  I was in the mood for something silly and when I saw a film entitled “School for Seduction” with Kelly Brook I thought why not.  It’s not my usual kind of film, no zombies, no action, no sci-fi but I was game for a laugh.

I was expecting a silly plot, bad acting and a lot of Kelly Brooks in various poses and to the large extent, I got what I expected.  But, I admit, there was a little substance there too.

Behind the title and the usual kind of story where you know from the start what is going to happen, there was a message.  If you looked through all the twaddle, the main premis of the film was that women don’t need to change their appearance or pander to someone else’s will to be loved, all they need is confidence in themselves.

If you take away the excesses of the film, the characters in the School for Seduction could be based on so many women out there.  The woman whose husband thought that her life should revolve around him, the girl who didn’t think she was good enough, the woman with aspirations but no confidence to achieve them, the girl who didn’t feel pretty enough.

I may have been looking too hard for some depth in this film; in fact I know I was.  In the end though, it gave a little nudge to my confidence, a reminder that confidence is sexy and we don’t need to change what we look like or who we are.

So there you go.  I found a positive in a Kelly Brook film.  Stranger things have happened.