15 September 2015
11 September 2015
Trigger - comments shared about fat shaming - having a much needed vent
If you are fat, this has been one helluva week. From Nicole Arbour's video, to the usual backlash against fat people because of it through trolls who surged like a swarm of locusts in delight at being to hurt a little more than usual.
Then there was the whole #PlusisEqual campaign from Lane Bryant whose message that it was time to represent the 67% of women who are unrepresented on billboards; only then to use "socially acceptable" sized models in their campaign photograph.
I cannot help but think that while Lane Bryant may have an inkling of what their message actually means, they are not brave enough to carry through with it. Ultimately they want to sell, that is their business. But I know I, for one, would have seriously considered buying from them if they have been truly representative.
I am not going to lie, this week for me it has been hard being a fat woman. Not because I feel any less confident this week or feel any less about myself; but more because going through this week has been like being surrounded by jellyfish, not knowing when they are going to sting.
It started by seeing the "Dear Fat People" video shared on my Facebook timeline, by people who I know, progressing by troll attacks on my blog and Facebook page following my post about it (see here ) which I spent all yesterday's lunch time deleting.
Comments that I am "glorifying obesity" simply by existing on the internet, that I am a whale that needs to be put down, that I am a gross and disgusting woman who will never be loved and that I need someone to shut my big fat mouth (never going to happen fuckwit).
While I do get trolled occasionally, I have been lucky, if lucky is even the right word in that it doesn't happen too often. So to find so many comments this week has been hard; although sadly I did half expect it because of my posting about a video that has been talked about worldwide.
This was also a week where I have been targeted by the general public more than usual too. From the woman who openly laughed at me to her friend as I walked past (get a life and work on your own issues sweetheart), to the man who commented to his girlfriend that I had a pretty face, only for her to comment "Yeah but look at the fat!". Insecure much love?
This week culminated in me blowing my top when a teenager passing in a car with her presumed parent shouted out of the window at me as I crossed the road "Oh gross, she is huge!". I turned around, gave her the finger and screamed fuck off at her. I was half expecting the mother to turn the car around and have a go at me for shouting at her daughter, but she didn't. Hopefully she was ashamed of her daughter. I know I would be.
This week now comes to the near end. I leave it still happy in myself, still confident, still wearing bloody amazing dresses and feeling awesome while wearing them. It also leaves me sad and hurt.
Sad that there are still people who use fat people as a vehicle for clicks and subscriptions, sad that trolls get their kicks from trying to hurt others. I am also hurt that people I know, as well as random people on the street think it acceptable to share hateful videos and comment negatively about me right to my face, or behind my back; as if either my feelings do not exist or they are of no consequence.
Next time you make a fat joke, next time you share a derogatory video that you think has no consequence because "fat people deserve it", next time you troll (ok, there is no hope for them), look into the eyes of the person you want to insult and ask yourself: What kind of human being do I want to be? Don't be a dick.