I'm Now Officially Old

I'm now officially old.  I haven't had a birthday or anything like that, but I have reached a point that in my youth, I swore would never happen.  I have fallen out of love with "going out on the town".

When I say going out on the town however, let me be a little more specific.  Because we all know that there is "going out on the town" and bar trawling.  My town, god love it, is a bar trawling type of place.  Many bars that you can frequent over the weekend, nightclubs offering cheap drinks, dancing until dawn rises if you want to.

I would go out with my friends all weekend and for years, the magic of a "night out down town" was there.  Overcrowded was "it's busy so it's cool", the age limit of over 25 in the nightclub was a weekend game to be played and usually won.  Weekends were edged in a kind of magic, where everything was fun, romance and whatever you wanted was there for the taking.

For money, work, university and a million other reasons, I haven't been out into the town on a weekend for a very long time.  Over Christmas I went to a party and afterwards, we decided on a foray into town to hit a couple of bars.  That's when it hit me.  The magic had gone.  I stayed for a couple of drinks and then made a rapid escape, via the kebab shop though, some things will never change.  Food at the end of the night will always cure most of your hangover.

I realised the next day however that it wasn't the magic that had gone from the town.  The town hadn't changed.  The bars had changed over the years but were still there, the cheap drinks, the masses of people out for a good time.  No, it wasn't the town that had changed, it was me. For one thing, I could no longer go out with just a purse in my hand with a lipstick crammed in, how did I ever manage????

My 30's are just as much fun as my 20's, just in a different way.  My idea of a great night out is now somewhat more expensive, but as I don't go out nearly as much as I used to, this type of night has become more affordable.

See, she's still there, just better dressed and drinking cocktails ;)

So hence, I'm sat here planning a night away in Manchester next Friday.  The hotel is booked, just a Premier but who needs something fancy for a one night stay, the eating place is chosen, in this case Revolution which does nice on the go food well, with good cocktails and then off to sample some more cocktails at the delights of the Alchemist Bar.  

Good friends, great conversation, lots of laughs, cocktails, a night away and a good breakfast in the morning.  That's my style these days.  What's yours? 

Snow is Falling

Cold weather isn't all bad.  Cozying up in front of the fire, warm soft clothes, comfortable layers.  Cold weather isn't all bad, if I could stay inside the house that is.  Outside brings snow, ice, freezing cold standing at the bus stop, falling frequently on my ass and feeling generally petrified.

I know why I'm scared of snow.    I'm aware in the telling of the story that it is amusing, but it wasn't funny at the time and is the only explanation I have for the fear I feel now.   You are allowed to laugh at it though ;) 

When I was around 6 I walking with my mum along a street covered with snow, snow like it used to, very very deep.  We had both been visiting my grandma and we were on my street making our way back to our house when I disappeared.

Did I disapparate like in the Harry Potter books?  No, I fell down a manhole.  Yes, ok, haha.  This was in the 1980's, before the "Health & Safety" culture got going.  Some workmen had obviously been doing something with the manhole and had it left it uncovered for whatever reason.  With the heavy snow you couldn't see any difference and no signs had been erected.   So little Vicky disappeared, luckily managing to grab hold of the pavement so I could drag myself back up.

Telling the story always gets a laugh, but the truth of it is that since then I have always been frightened of snow, with ice being added to the fear over the years on the grounds that I am the human Bambi on ice, clumsy and unable to keep my balance.

One of my (many I admit) pet peeves are people that wish for the snow.  Why???? You get maybe one day, at best, where throwing snowballs for an hour is fun, the rest of the time you are miserable, wet, cold, slipping and in my case, falling over, a lot.

When people talk about what they would do if they won the lottery, the same thing is always at the top of my list, move to a country where it DOESN'T BLOODY SNOW!

Tell me, please, how is this fun???

Music for Your Mood

I can never understand when someone says they only like one kind of music.  With the exceptions of heavy metal and country & western, I have fairly broad tastes in music.

I like having a collection of music which will suit my mood, or on some days, improve it!  I have “go to” songs for every mood, songs that guarantee a smile, songs to make you want to dance, songs that make you relax, everything is covered.

Here are my go to favourites:

Tired: anything loud with a good beat to wake me up and kick start my brain.  If I don’t fancy trawling through my playlist, my go to’s are usually Nothing Special by Ill Scarlett, Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit or anything from Green Day’s American Idiot album.

Good mood: good mood music for me, when I’m in a really good mood has to be music from the 90's.  Anything from For an Angel by Paul Van Dyk to Dreamer by Livin Joy is guarantee to keep a big smile on my face.

Irritable/sad/ticked off: Here is where my secret stash of cheesy music comes out.  You know it's terrible, you wouldn't admit to liking it in public, but everyone has a secret stash.  This morning Reach for the Stars, S Club 7 raised my spirits.  It's impossible not to smile. 

Relaxed: When I'm chilled out and relaxing, my go to music is usually from the 50's.  At Last, Etta James is one of my favourite all times songs and anything by Frank Sinatra.

Cover anything song: There a couple of songs that I play no matter what my mood, well more than a couple, but my favourites are Inside by Stiltskin and Super Massive Black Hole, Muse.

What are your to go songs?

Repost

Foreword: I originally posted this blog a few days ago and then decided to delete, as it’s very personal and I wasn’t ready.

Then however I saw the cutting for Bieber hashtag last night on Twitter and was appalled.  Young girls cutting themselves for a celebrity to notice them, people making jokes about it, some even saying “Remember, down the stream not across the path”.  So now I’ve put the post back up.

Cutting isn’t the new cool thing.  Depression isn’t funny.  Just because you aren’t walking around with a broken bone doesn’t mean you’re not broken.

…………………………………………….

Have you ever noticed that when you are having a dark day, people will try and make you feel better using the atypical “But think about this and this that is good in your life”….  Am I the only one that this irritates? 

I know that people mean well when they say these things, but isn’t it obvious that whatever it is that is making you sad (if you even know in the first place), has nothing to do with the good parts of your life, that’s there no connection?

Whilst I’m lucky enough not to be in it’s grips now, I’ve flirted with depression for many years.  There was a time in my early 20’s when I came very close.  Too close.  I was so completely unhappy.  I didn’t have the outlets to talk about it and not knowing why I was so unhappy, I didn’t see the point.  In anything.

Maybe if I’d had my blog then things may have been different.  This is my safe zone.  I can say whatever I want, even if I don’t know what I’m really saying until I read back an earlier post. 

Back then though, I didn’t have anything.  Already an inward person I turned in even more so.  I turned to cutting.  I don’t think it was even a conscious decision yet one day, the knife was in my hand.  It doesn’t help. It hurts, physically and emotionally.  You’ll never be quite the same person again.

It’s been years since I was that girl.  It took me years to realise that people will listen when you talk.  If you don’t talk about what hurts, it will always hurt you, or you will hurt yourself.  

I was lucky in that I don’t have any scars.  I still have my dark days, I admit to them freely but the helplessness has left me, along with the urge to cut.  I was lucky I didn’t have depression, which is and can be debilitating.  I was just very unhappy.

Ask for help.  People will always give it.  You are not as alone as you think you are.  Talk to someone, anyone, just talk.

I am not a Lemming

If you rounded up 10 people and individually asked them what their “type” was, I guarantee that you would get 10 different answers.

Tall or short, shy or outgoing; blonde or brunette; sports fan or film addict; plus size or model thin; silly or serious; the combinations are endless.  There is not one standard type for everyone.  We are not the human equivalents of Ken and Barbie.  We all have brains, and those brains are turned on by a variety of things.

My personal preference? Tall and confident.  Confidence to me is sexy.

What I want to know then is why when we all like different things, do people seem to love to pick others apart.  You’re too fat, you’re too thin; your nose is too big; you’re stupid; you’re too loud, you’re too quiet. 

Nobody is “too” anything.    You are you.  You are unique.  No one else is exactly like you, be it physically or emotionally.   Personally, I think that’s awesome.

I was asked this morning if I was going on a diet for my New Year’s Resolution.  The first thing that entered my head was to say “No, but are you going to save up for a nose job?”.  Luckily I didn’t say that, I just called them a ruder version of an idiot.

Our brains shouldn’t be wired in to insult others.  Mine went into attack mode this morning and I’m angrier about that than what the person said.  My first thought shouldn’t have been to insult back, it should have been to realise that if they are insulting others, trying to make them feel bad, it’s more likely that they feel bad about themselves.

We are individuals, with individual tastes.  We don't all look the same, nor think the same.  Why should we?  We should celebrate the differences between people, not fault them.

So that is my New Year’s resolution for this year.  To celebrate what is different about me. 

I am not a lemming. 

 

 

 

Christmas 2012

I've been particularly bad over the Christmas period as I fully intended to do various posts for my Christmas party outfits.  I managed to take a few photos, but mostly not of the best quality and not enough for a proper outfit post.

I didn't want the outfits to go to waste however, so have posted a few of the photographs anyway, I was too  "getting ready focused" at the time I think!

This is the one photo I remembered to take - my office party

Shoes are from Ravel - the bag is a from a craft sale

Gutted I didn't manage to take more photographs of this dress.  It's absolutely gorgeous and I felt so nice in it! Bought from the Mylene Klass range at Very.

Here are a couple from New Year's Eve.  The dress is a gorgeous jade green and was originally bought for my best friend's wedding a couple of year's ago.  Now thought I feel like it looks a little dated so may give it away, or do a blog sale, though not sure how to do that!

Finally, some lovelies I got from Santa this year, the laptop being a from me to me, a necessity when doing a degree and nothing to work on!

Barry M Glitter Polish & Marc Jacobs Oh Lola

Every girl needs a pamper box!

Flamingo print weekend bag from Next - I adore it!

In honour of the ruby red colour - she's named Dorothy

I hope you all have had a fantastic Christmas.  I am sure that your outfit posts will be better than mine! xx

Thought, Not Cost

Firstly, I hope that all who read this have had a fantastic Christmas.  I thought that I would share a couple of present highlights over the past couple of years.  However, the cost involved was not in money, but in time spent.

Last year I received the best present I have ever had in my life.  It was a photo album of my dad, who sadly died when I was seven.  All of my life I have wanted more photographs of him than I had, last year my mum sought to remedy that.

So I now have not one photograph, but a full album, with every photo having it’s own caption so I know when and where each photograph was taken.  It is the most valuable possession I have.

Me and My Dad - Blackpool Pier - Priceless

This year, something homemade was also on the cards.  Not on such a grand scale, but the thought was there.

My mum adores, and when I say adores I mean is obsessed by, Alfie Boe.  I scoured the internet and shops for months for a calendar of him, but to no avail.  So I decided to make my own.  Nothing fancy, just each month at the top of the page with a different photo of him for every month.

I made the calendar as a little added extra for  her in addition to the presents I had bought.  The calendar however was the biggest hit by far. 

It just goes to show, you can spend a fortune on a present, but if you take the time out to make something, your time is rewarded double fold.  In the current climate we are all looking to save that extra penny, your free time and a little thought costs nothing.

Happy Christmas everyone! 

Thank You

This time of year makes me hug my loved ones a little tighter than usual.  It's the time of year to cherish your loved ones and remember those who are no longer with you.  It's a time for looking back, taking stock, and giving thanks.

Today's post is about giving thanks.  My previous post looked back over the past year and it shocked me to realise how far I've come.  Probably to my detriment, but when I make a change in my life, it's always something I keep to myself.  I just go forward with what I want and my family are used to me going along with my own little path.

My path this year has been a little different.  A huge amount of changes have been made.  These have all been due to the blogs that I have discovered and have been reading over the past year.  Reading the stories of these other woman has inspired me to come out from behind my wall of insecurity and into acceptance.

Becky from The Ramblings of Mrs BeBe was the first blog I discovered.  She was the first to make me realise that I could wear the clothes I wanted, and they didn't have to be black.  I wasn't a pariah.  You can still be pretty and be plus size.  

From Becky's blog I went on to find others such as Toni from The Only Way is Toni, Clare from Mrs Brown's Thoughts and Betty Bee from Betty Bee Towers 

Turns out, a blog can change your life.  Those blogs have changed mine.  It may sound over dramatic to some, but inspiration can come from many places.  Change has to come from a starting point.  You need a spark to start you off.  These girls have been my spark.

I should also mention my friend Kate.  I've only met her the once.  I found her, or she found me, on Twitter.  She is as we call it, my sister from another mister.  She's absolutely awesome and has also give me courage over the past year, whether she knows it or not. 

Aside from Kate I've never met any of these women but they have been such an inspiration in the past year.  The girl from one year ago who had no confidence, who was in denial over things in the past that affected the now, who had no courage, who expected the world to laugh at her, is very, very grateful.

Thank you, lovely ladies.  

One Busy Year

Christmas is always the time when I look back and reflect on the year, what has happened and how things have changed.

This year has been a massive year for accomplishments. I have set myself goal after goal this year and whilst I have achieved some, there is still work to be done in others. So here is what has been happening.

Improve Self Confidence

The ongoing theme this year has been for me to try and improve my self confidence. Figuring out what makes me tick, fixing some of my issues by confronting them has been at the forefront this year. I can honestly say I’ve made more progress in this one year than probably my whole life.

Lessons Learnt

Face the things at the back of your mind that scare you. Even the ones you have under lock and key with a “Don’t Open This Door” sign. , If you don’t, they will haunt you forever.

People can only treat you badly if you allow them to.

STOP HIDING.

Puffing the Year Away

On the 16^th April 2012 I made the decision to stop smoking. I am the type of person who once a decision is made, I stick to my guns. For stopping smoking, that is a good way to be. Going from 20 a day to zero on cold turkey isn’t easy, but it’s now been eight months and I know I will never go back.

Lessons Learnt

If you put your mind to something, you can do anything.

Educating Vicky

I’ve started an Open University degree. This will take about one hundred years to complete, but it’s been something I have thought about for years and finally I’ve bitten the bullet.

Blog

If someone had said to me at the start of this year that by the end of it I would be posting about the clothes I wear and posting pictures of myself, full length, wearing them I would have told them they were crazy. No way, no how. Yet a few weeks ago I started on the plus size blogging journey.

I don’t know what I expected actually. Abuse and put downs probably with by my entire Twitter list unfollowing me in horror. Ok slight exaggeration there, but the response that I have received has been awesome.

Lessons Learnt

You are not as horrible as you think you are. Put yourself out there, no one ever got anyway hiding in a corner.

So there you go. My year in retrospect. What will next year bring? Who knows. But I can’t wait for it.

I wish everyone who reads this a very Happy Christmas. Drink too much, laugh too loud, dance away the night and above all, cherish the people that you love.

Shopping in Skipton

Some things are inevitable.  One of them is that it is impossible to go "window shopping" with your mother.  Do not try, it is folly.

On Saturday I went with my mum to Skipton for a wander around the shops and some lunch.  My intention was to wander but not purchase as I wanted to save my money for Christmas.  I got out of the car and I think within 3 minutes I had made my first purchase.  Oops.

Here's my outfit for the day, still channelling the red, white and blue look.

An actual pose!

Typically when I buy jewellery I prefer to buy British made and ideally something that supports local traders.   When I saw this lovely for the bargain price of £7, it had to be mine.  I'm not usually a statement necklace type of gal but my mum convinced me to buy it.  

I bought a few other bits and pieces, nothing exciting but my final purchase was my favourite.  We went into the local town hall which was having a craft fair in it's tiny hall.  

Now all of my life I have had a quirk when it comes to perfume bottles.  I tend to chose the perfume bottle first and the actual scent second, but I have been looking for the perfect perfume bottle forever.  The kind where you decant your perfume in and dab on like they used to do in the old movies.  

Here's the first in what I suspect will turn into a collection.  It's 1920's style, classic, clean lines and I love it.

Hello darling

Now on top of my wish list this Christmas, although I suspect given the price I may be buying it myself in the New Year is the perfume Oh Lola by Marc Jacobs which not only has a beautiful and distinctive scent, also had a lovely bottle.

Do you have something you want to collect?

All Dressed Up

One fantastic thing about reading all the plus size fashion blogs is that I find all new places to buy clothes that I didn't even think of before.  Especially if, like I used to think, that if you walked into Evans the world would be over.

I've gotten over that particular foiable and recently made my first purchase there, a pair of bright purple tights.   Anyone watching me would have laughed as I shot into the shop like a startled gazelle, before I could change my mind.  Yes, I'm daft.

One of the places I have discovered recently as a decent stockist of (actually decent) plus size clothing is John Lewis.  I have been looking mostly at the dresses (my favourite thing after shoes) and although a lot of the dresses were between the £60 - £150.00 range, they do fill  a gap in the market.

Previously when I had been looking for an occasion dress I have had a real struggle.  Had I know about the selection at John Lewis, my four month search for a dress for my best friend's wedding may not have been fraught with anxiety.

Here are my favourites:

£52 - Linked Here

£79 - Linked Here

£69 - Linked here



£59 - Linked here

My favourite of the dresses above would definately be number three.  This is the dress I would chosen for my friend's wedding had I seen it at the time and to be honest, I'm that much in love with it that it may be finding it's way into my wardrobe sooner rather that.

Where do you get your occasion dresses from?



An Xmas Meal in Red, White & Blue

 Last night was a family tradition.  Three female generations of my family out for a Christmas meal.  Myself, my mum, my sister and my niece.

The date was planned, the food decided on; the only thing left was of course, the outfit!  I always start with the shoes, as that is my favourite part of any outfit, and that of course takes me on to the handbag.

The bag is from Next a few months ago, I can't resist a pretty red bag, I think it was around the £30.00 mark.  The shoes are from Primark. Originally they had a canvas tie to them but I didn't like it so replaced with a bright red ribbon.

Next comes the dress.  Now under my new "As little black as possible" rule, I went shopping in the Dorothy Perkins sale a couple of weeks ago and uncovered a navy blue dress with white bows on.  It was love at first sight and upon checking the price, £10.30, I practically snatched their hand off.

The complete was completed when I found a bright red cardigan from Primark, my first ever Primark purchase.  Again, for £6.00, I was thrilled to get another bargain.  So I am, dressed up for the night.

The tights went, didn't
go with the shoes!
Sorry about the bad quality of the picture on this one

Hair up for a change, I'm practising still

Click my heels and away to Oz!!

Lovely bow print, shown off by the girls!

We were joined this year by some friends of my mum's and together we all enjoyed lovely food, all dressed up to the nines.  I had my usual starter, Chicken Liver Pate followed by Salmon with Prawns and then Tiramisu.

Upon returning home I decided to take one last picture, I wasn't going to include it as you can tell the glasses of wine had been consumed, but it made me giggle so might have the same affect for you.

The cheeky "I've had wine on a work night" look

Do you have any family Christmas traditions?

That is Who I Am

I was looking through some of the blogs I subscribe to today when I came across a post by Toni of The Only Way is Toni which I liked and thought I would try myself.

This is a "Who I Am" post by way of pictures.

I love my friends, loyalty is everything to me

Clowns are the most terrifying thing - ever

At times, I can be a little crazy

I can't walk down a set of stairs without a handrail

What I'm looking for - love

I believe if you say yes you can do something, eventually you will be able to

Mind over matter

I love to laugh - giddiness is something I aim for daily

My Favourite Quote of the Moment:

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: 'no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall'.

Eleanor Roosevelt

The Snowman

There is one programme that I must watch every Christmas. Jo from Little Woman may have thought that Christmas wasn't Christmas without presents, but for me, it has to have The Snowman.
 

In a time where computer generated images fill our screens, where innocence is swept aside in favour of Sci-Fi, horror, guns, World of Warcraft, there remains this one little programme that every year thousands, in fact probably millions of people, even if they won't admit it, have to watch.
 

When it comes to movies, my loves are Science Fiction, action and horror (good horror that is, not Drag me to Hell for example). For TV, my tastes run to Doctor Who, Games of Thrones, Bones.  I like it action packed, exciting, scary, not innocent, quiet and calm.

The Snowman is perfect just the way it is.  It doesn't need speech, CGI or an hour's discussion afterwards of "What do you think that meant?".  I don't know whether children today would get it today or not, I'm not a child person.  But for me, it takes me back to being 7 years old on Christmas Day, watching in wonderment at the television.

So when I heard today that a sequel had been made, see here I confess that my heart filled with dread.  Just like I felt right before the opening ceremony of the Olympics started, there is one thought in my head.

Please don't fuck this up.

The Snowman is innocent, pure and beautiful.  I hear the sequel has a dog in it.  If it is powered by a rocket or can shoot snowballs at 20 shots a second, I am suing, well, somebody.

Everyone needs that bit of innocence in their lives, even if it is only for 26 minutes every Christmas. 

By the way Channel 4, just because you are showing a new version on Christmas Eve does not excuse you for showing the original too.   Don't kill my Christmas.  Thank you.

UPDATE
For UK viewers I have found out that the original is on on Sunday 23rd December 2012 at 6.25pm.  Woo hoo!!

 

Not Very Taxing

Say you went into a shop.  You were looking to buy a television.  You see one that you want and it is priced at £799.00.  You call the assistant over and he proceeds to tell you that if you fill out a little extra paperwork, you can get the television for £550.00.  What do you do?
 

Well personally, if that was me, I’d fill out the extra paperwork and get the cheaper television.

 

Although Jimmy Carr was the scapegoat, there are many celebrities who have been using a scheme in order to avoid tax.  This is perfectly legal and is a loop hole in the tax laws.  If I were a millionaire and had been told by my accountant that I could save a fortune, would I do it?  Of course I would.

 

The same can be said for the large companies such as Starbucks, Amazon etc who are also avoiding paying tax to the UK.  They found the loop holes, they are using them.

 

I don't see the point in people saying that they are going to boycott Amazon and co until the tax situation is resolved.  What is actually the point?  For the very small amount of people that will actually boycott, not including the "I will boycott, but actually are just saying it" people, the effect to the large companies will be barely visible.

 

What we need is for the Government to completely redo the taxation laws.  Considering we are in a complete economic crisis, this only makes sense.    There are millions upon millons of pounds there for the taking if only the Government firmed up taxation and closed the loop holes.

 

The times for the Government protecting their friends and their own interests has to come to an end.  In the age of Twitter, Facebook and blogging, people have found their voice in a number never seen before. 

 

It's time the Government were held accountable by the people that it serves.   This will only happen if we realise who are the people that are accountable.  It's the law that needs changing, not your coffee provider.

MUA Mega Volume Mascara Review

Mascara is the one item of make-up that I absolutely cannot go without.  I usually have at least three on the go, for volume, length etc.  

Having put the Benefit "They're Real" mascara on my list to Santa, I found myself needing to buy one just to keep me going until Christmas.  I had heard a few things about MUA make-up before, but to be honest, I usually stay well clear of cheap make-up as I have never had good experiences the lower priced items.

Given that I only had a few weeks to wait and the good things I had heard however, I found myself over at the MUA counter in Superdrug.  I settled on the Mega Volume Mascara in Black/Brown for the tiny price of £3.00.  I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much.

Turns out, everything I had heard about MUA is true.  The mascara is very good quality and goes on like a dream.  It gives me the lift and length I require with added volume.  The brush is easy to use, unlike some of the more expensive mascaras I have used over the years which require a degree in engineering to figure out.

This mascara has gone from a mere "tide me over" mascara to something which has been added to my daily make-up look and I will definately buy again.  Here are a few pictures with the before and after.

Excuse the hair - it's in it's pre GHD state

Here is the mascara - the fact that the packaging is pink I confess is what drew me to it!

The brush is easy to use and doesn't overload with mascara

Here is the link to the MUA mascara on the website where you can find this mascara and all the other ranges.

Give it a try, I promise you will be pleasantly surprised!