Winter Is Coming

Tell me, are you a Summer person?  Someone who craves the sunshine, loves the fact that you can walk around without the baggage of a coat?  Someone who looks at the snow and ice with dread and has a hatred for all things cold?

Alternatively, are you a Winter person?  A lover of warm drinks and cozy clothing.  Someone who loves a good snow ball fight and generally loves the beauty that Winter brings to the landscape.

Me, I'm a definate Summer person, but am trying, slowly to learn to love Winter.  So here are a few things that I thought about that I love about Winter that might make you love it too.

A Good Cuddle

Summer is wonderful, but how many nights have you spent far too hot during the evenings, stripping off layer after layer of clothing, drowning yourself in ice filled drinks and throwing off the bed covers at night?  How many times have you given up on the idea of a cuddle with your partner because you are just too damn hot?

Winter is made for cuddles on the sofa, a hot chocolate and a good film.  My fella is like a walking hot water bottle and snuggling up in bed on a cold night is something that brings us together even more.  

Stepping Into a Warm House

When you have spent a freezing day in the office followed by a cold and miserable commute home, is there really anything better than walking into a warm, inviting house?

It is this time of year that I make sure that our central heating systems are working as they should to ensure a warm and inviting house.  There is nothing worse that getting home on a cold day only to find out that your radiators are not working and you walk into freezing cold house.

My top tip for ensuring that your house heats up faster and retains more heat is to cover a thin sheet of card with tinfoil and placing it behind your radiator.  This reflects the heat back into your room and helps to heat everything that much and more importantly, retains the heat (saving you a bit of money too!)

Winter Clothing & Accessories

As much as I love, and I do adore, a Summer dress, there is just something about wrapping yourself up in many layers like a cocoon that makes you feel wonderful, calm and serene.  

Warm toasty socks in bed, a sumptuous scarf around your neck to keep out the cold, fur trimmed gorgeous coats and a good, old fashioned hot toddy on a particularly cold night are all things that I love about Winter.

The Food

At a risk of sounding like what they call a "typical woman" (what about any woman is typical I have to ask?), I do love a gorgeous roasted hazelnut latte in the Winter months.

Also, who can resist the lovely beef stew, simmering throughout the day in the slow cooker and ready to perfection when you arrive home?  Cauliflower cheese, apple crumble, chicken and mushroom pie or the good old English breakfast.  My mouth is watering just typing about them.

So, is Winter really that bad?  The icy streets can be hard to handle but there is so much about Winter to love, if you only care to look.  

Learning To Drive: 7 Ways To Keep Costs Down

Defensive Driving Starts Before You Learn To Drive

Following are a number of tips to help you drive in the most effectively defensive way possible. Defensive driving will reduce your vehicular defenses substantially, but it’s just one of many strategies you can employ to achieve this result. Several more worth considering include:

1. Driver’s Education

Driver’s Ed can reduce your insurance expenses while additionally teaching you effective defensive driving techniques that are essential in an increasingly urban driving environment with an expanding population. Attending driving courses can help you pass your test more quickly, and once passed, ensure you pay the minimum necessary amount in vehicular insurance.

2. Always Insure Your Vehicle

Insurance isn’t fun, it’s costly, and let’s be honest: to a certain degree it’s a racket. You’re going to have one claim every 19 years, but you’re going to pay around $1k annually depending on the level of coverage you get. However, that’s the rules of the game, so you’ve got to play by them.

If you lapse in coverage, resuming will cost you more. Your best bet is to buy insurance initially, and retain it perpetually. If and when you switch companies, don’t let coverage lapse in the process. Also, ensure you know your legal recourse in the event of a denied insurance claim.

3. Exercise Proper Maintenance Strategy

A vehicle that is properly maintained will be less likely to break down unexpectedly in a place which is inconvenient, and costs you hundreds of dollars. Read your driver’s manual and replace components at strategic intervals. There are certain things you can take your time on by monitoring them.

Its pretty obvious when serpentine belts start to go; you can run them until they get a “look” to them which requires replacement. Sometimes it will be under the projections of your user manual, sometimes over. The more defensively and carefully you drive, the less wear-and-tear you put on a vehicle, allowing components to last longer. A good rule of thumb: drive like your grandmother.

4. Learn The Patterns Of Traffic

High traffic produces higher likelihood of collision. Avoiding traffic as best you can will reduce your likelihood of being wrecked into, costing you money directly and collaterally. You can’t avoid all traffic, but you can pay attention to patterns, and figure out secondary routes that may be longer, but take less time because they avoid traffic. Time is money, and so are repairs. Avoid wasting time and paying out the nose in repairs by reducing their need through traffic avoidance strategy.

5. Plan Your Trips Out Ahead Of Time

This point dovetails from the previous one: figure out where you’re going, and what conditions will be like when you arrive; and as far in advance as possible. Internet maps can make this a lot more simple than it used to be. Additionally, know the time of year. Avoid holiday travel during high-traffic times if possible; or at the very least, leave in the dead of night when traffic is statistically low.

6. Start With A Beater

If you’re new to driving, don’t be so foolish that you buy a new car valued at around $30k and pay it off every month. That’s just setting money on fire and dancing around it like a savage. A better strategy is to buy a cheap old beater at around $1,000. If you get a year’s worth out of it, it will have paid for itself. Also, you won’t feel so bad when you make mistakes and tear the thing up.

When it breaks down, you can either get another one, or consider investing in a finer vehicle. Unless you can drop $30k on a car directly, and not be impacted financially, it’s not a wise move to have your first car be new.

7. Buy Used

Generally, buying used is a wise tactic. The cost you’re shooting for is about $5k, and you want to pay it all off at once if you can. If you’re fastidious about maintenance, and strategic about how you drive, you’ll get the same kind of use out of a used vehicle that most people get from a new one, but you’ll save tens of thousands of dollars.

Saving Time And Money

If you’re strategic to ensure you plan your driving ahead of time, start with a beater, buy used, take classes to learn more effectively how to drive while reducing insurance premiums, learn traffic patterns, and keep your insurance up to date at all time, you’re going to reduce necessary costs of vehicle ownership.

Even so, you should expect to pay around $2k to $3k a year in terms of gas, insurance, repairs, and maintenance. Budget for that, and keep an eye on expenses. That way you’ll be able to see how well you’re saving.

5 Top Tips For Pre Planning Christmas Gifts

I don't want to scare you away; but I am going to use a word that can put dread and panic into your heart.  Christmas.

Christmas you say?  It is months away, why are you talking about it now?

Quietly whispers to you, it's only 3 months....  

Well, my suddenly terrified reader, because I want you to be prepared this Christmas and not run around like a headless chicken, credit card in hand; buying presents the week before the big day.  I have been there.  I swore never again.

So here are my top tips for pre planning your gift buying for Christmas without making a mess of your finances with panic purchases.  If you plan ahead, Christmas doesn't have to be that stressful.  I promise.

Lists Are Your Friend

So you have had a (hopefully) lovely Christmas with friends and family.  A few too many festive wines, waaaay too much chocolate and the last thing you want to think of is next year's Christmas planning.  My first tip.  Have a break first, leave your planning till February.

Next, make a list of the usual family and friends that you will be buying a present for.  Add in a miscellaneous gift to the list.  For the person who invariably turns up with an unexpected gift that you want to reciprocate.

Alongside the name of each person, write an amount that you are happy to spend on them and will stick to.  Now you have a budget that you can save for each month.  Add another £50 to it marked Christmas.  Trust me.

Take Advantage of Post Christmas Sale Items

OK now I know I told you to wait a couple of months to think about Christmas, but buying some dirt cheap wrapping paper on sale and maybe a few cards isn't going to kill you in January, right?  I much prefer my money to go on the contents, not in its wrapping.

What Do Women (Men & Children) Want?

It's June.  You made your list a couple of months ago, you've started saving.  You are ahead of the game.  Now is the time to start thinking about things that you want to buy.  Write them on your list.  Check out the latest deals, find out when the sales are.  That watch you want to buy for your boyfriend for example sounds a lot better at £50 in a sale than £100 two days before Christmas doesn't it?

Live By The List, Don't Die By The List

It's September.  Hopefully by now your Christmas saving budget is going well.  You have bought a few presents.  You are on track.  But are you?  Sometimes you can plan all you want and then you might have a couple of rough months financially and your saving isn't quite where it should be.  Don't panic.  You have time.

People appreciate the thought of a present and the time spent coming up with a great gift more than the amount it cost.  If you need to make changes, reduce your budget or maybe have that conversation with a friend about maybe not swapping gifts this year, it is ok.  The world will not end.

Time To Wrap It Up

It's the end of November.  Finish your shopping, wrap your presents.  You are set.  

The next few weeks will be distributing gifts, office parties and impromptu "hey lets go for a drink, it's Christmas" invitations.   Things that you haven't accounted for in your Christmas saving budget.  That is what you will spend your extra £50 on.  You will, without a doubt, end up spending more, but at least you have a little buffer for some fun.

So that's it!  My pre planning for Christmas tips!  Let me know what your tips for Christmas planning are.

*Collaborative piece

Letting The Words Out

I've had my blog for eight years now.  It started as a diary of sorts and over the years it has worn a variety of hats on different subjects.  It helped to fuel my body positive journey, it forced me out of black clothes into colour; it let loose my imagination and freed the words that were always in my head, but never came out.  It fueled me to write my opinion pieces and later, for the past couple of years, it has given me an out of hours income aside of my full time job.

The problem is that when you start to write commercially, when you focus your spare time on writing for someone other than yourself; the words that always flowed so freely before are forced into a particular mindset and your thoughts are pushed to one side.

Although I will still have my commercial side, although to a smaller aspect now, I want to really write again.  I want to rant again.  I want to share the thoughts that somehow come out so freely on my blog, especially when I wouldn't say them out loud.  I want to talk about current affairs, the silly things that enter my mind and talk about the parts of my soul that only come out when I write, unedited.

Right now, I am barely blogging.  I have fallen out of the habit of opening up my laptop every night.  Blog ideas that I used to jot down during the day don't appear.  I used to be able to come up with a subject and practically have the post drafted in my head by the time I got home.  Not now.

The thing is, I remember how much I love writing here, as soon as I start to type.  As I write this post now, the smile appears on my face and parts of my brain wake up again. 

There certainly isn't a shortage of things to talk about in current climes! I recently did a post about non platforming which got my brain juices flowing again. 

I think the answer to my non writing period is that I need to get back into the saddle properly.  I need to write, every day, about something.  Not necessarily a full blog post piece, sometimes just a paragraph.  About anything.

I need to be excited about writing again because I can't put aside something that I love to do just because life gets in the way.  So hopefully, there will be many more posts to come.

Moving Home? Declutter First!

Has the time come to up sticks and move to somewhere new? Whether you are moving just down the road or across the country, you are most probably feeling rather overwhelmed by the sheer amount of the work that needs to be done. The fact is that moving house is an extremely stressful experience, it’s not something that is quick and easy - there’s a lot that goes into moving to somewhere new, and it’s important to understand that.

One of the most stressful parts of moving to somewhere new is the packing process because there is just so much that needs to be packed. The key to success with packing for a house move is ensuring that before you start packing, you declutter your entire home and get rid of anything that you don’t need. After all, there’s no point taking items that you don’t need to your new house, is there?

Photo source

Bearing that in mind, below are some useful tips for making your pre-move decluttering quicker, easier and far less stressful. For everything that you need to know, have a read of the tips below.

Focus on one area at a time

One of the most important tips for decluttering before moving house is to focus on one area at a time. If you try to do too much at once, you will end up feeling overwhelmed, which is why it’s so important that you only focus on one space at a time. It’s best to start at the top of the house and slowly work your way down. That way you can systematically go through the entire house, making the clearing out process simpler and less stressful.

Hire a team to collect your junk

While you could opt to do multiple trips to your local dump, it makes far more sense to hire a waste collection team who can deal with this for you. It’s a good idea to look deeper into what your waste collection options are before making a decision - to do that, click here and have a browse of the options available to you. By choosing to go down this route of waste collection, you can make the entire clearing out process far less stressful and much faster and more efficient too.

Pack and clean as you go

It makes sense that while you clear out one room, instead of putting everything back again that you pack it up. That way you can ensure that you aren’t wasting any time and that you are making the most of all of the time that you have available to you. Don’t just clear out junk and pack what you want into boxes, consider cleaning as you go as well, to help take some of the pressure off in terms of the move.

There you have it, everything that you need to know about the ins and outs of decluttering your home prior to a house move. There is a lot that you need to do when it comes to moving house, so anyway that you can make the process easier and less stressful, take advantage of.

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

Cancer is something that we have all had experience of; whether being diagnosed ourselves or having had a family member or loved one suffer.  Since 1960, an unbelievable 1 in 2 of us will be diagnosed with cancer in our lifetime.

If you are a family who has a child that has been diagnosed with cancer, the news is shattering.  The thought that your child is suffering this disease must be completely unbearable, devastating beyond belief.  

Just getting through each day, supporting and uplifting your child through the illness and the treatment that goes alongside takes superhuman strength.  But parents, every single day, find that strength to take care of their children, visiting them daily in hospital, spending hours, days and months and sometimes years by their bedside; providing a constant, positive and supportive outlook; no matter how bad it gets.

One thing that we forget is how much this all costs the family.  Not just the emotional cost of the heartache, not just the time spent away from work while you spend infinite hours at hospital with your child; not just the worry and maintaining that positive facade; but the practical, physical cost that can be crippling for families.

Children with cancer cannot simply go to their local hospital.  Studies show that on average, children and their families have to travel at least 60 miles to hospital and back for treatment.  Research carried out by Clic Sargent revealed that families are spending around £180 and more per month on their commute.

Children with cancer and their families get very little in way of support in relation to travel costs and this needs to change.  When you are using every ounce of your strength to support your child through their treatment, the very last thing you want to worry about is whether you have the money to visit them.  Families are often plunged into debt just for visiting their sick child.  This is wrong and has to change.

During Childhood Cancer Awareness Month Clic Sargent have launched a petition asking the Government to create a Young Cancer Patient Travel Fund so that families no longer need to worry about the costs of travel whilst visiting their child.

I ask today to sign the petition above which will be delivered to the Department of Health on the 26th September.  You can also download a petition sheet that can be signed by your work colleagues and friends which can add to the numbers (see the link on the petition page as linked above).  Every signature counts.

Please sign this petition for something so worthwhile which would help families with children suffering this terrible disease; taking some of the financial worry away from them at a time when all of their strength is focused on their child.  They are dealing with enough.

Why I Am Turning Against No Platforming

LONG READ    *Disclaimer - I'm not sure I should give one.  People may have an issue with my thoughts here, but the internet is a place for discourse, so if you don't like them, comment and disagree.  Debate should be what progresses conversations and thoughts.

I have been thinking a lot about non platforming recently and my views have changed.  Do we have the right to be offended by someone's words?  Absolutely.  Do we have the right to vehemently disagree with someone's thoughts and how they express them?  Of course.

But, do we have the right, and should we have the right to stop them speaking?  No.  I don't think we should.  Free speech, provided that it is not inciting and encouraging violence, is something that, in the Western world at least, we are all afforded and should be celebrated.

As the internet has grown over the years, people's voices have grown louder.  Whether you are left, right, centrist; man, woman or child; feminist, anti feminist, MRA or just your garden variety troll; we have all gained a platform to speak.  Whether it be spouting a mini rant on Facebook, 140 characters of your thoughts on Twitter, a lengthy blog post or an hour longYoutube video; there has never been a time in history such as now where we can air our thoughts to the world to such a degree.

My question is, what right do we have to censor speech?  From the point of view I have come to believe, no we don't.  Inciting violence or encouraging violence against others always needs to be dealt with appropriately, but should we stop people from talking about things we don't agree with?

Censorship, non platforming, banning people from social media and places where people can talk openly about their views, only drives those views underground.  The supporters grow in numbers, incensed by the censorship.  Their words grow stronger, get more validation (from those who believe their words) and their voices are amplified, not muted.

There are many people that I disagree with in terms of their views.  But my thoughts lately are that those voices need to be heard.  Not because we agree with them or advocate what they say; but because we need to realise that these people exist, they have followers who believe unequivocally what they say and we NEED to be aware of it.  Those views exist whether we agree with them or not and banning them, I believe, only escalates and elevates those views.

We cannot bubble wrap ourselves against words and thoughts that we do not disagree with.   We need to hear them, sometimes in order to protect ourselves.  

Non platforming for me needs to be dealt with on a case by case basis and viewed in terms of, is this inciting violence or do we just disagree with them.  

For me for example, Alex Jones, crossed the line between free speech that we completely disagree with and find despicable (his views on Sandy Hook) and his recent speech telling his supporters to get their battle rifles ready against Antifa and the mainstream media.  

I, of course, am completely against his views on Sandy Hook.  But thoughts on a something, however unbelievable and abhorrent we think of them, versus an active "call to arms" is different.  That is actively inciting violence.  He deserved to be banned, in my opinion, for his call to arms.  His views and conspiracy theories on Sandy Hook, don't cross the line on free speech; but what it does highlight and publicise what an utter asshole he is, as it does for those who believe in what he said.

What started my thinking about free speech and non platforming is something that someone said to me recently.  At the moment, we live, in the Western world, in a fairly left thinking world.  We non platform hate speech.  But the far right, as we are seeing more and more, is picking up speed in a frightening fast pace.  

Think about it.  The wannabe neo Nazis.  The people who support the man who killed Jo Cox or the guy who drove into a crowd of Muslims who were leaving a mosque with the defence of "revenge".  Revenge for what?  Do we blame every Catholic for the thousands of boys raped by priests?  For the thousands of women imprisoned for decades in the Magadelene laundries?  I digress.  

The people who think like Katie Hopkins that refugees are cockroaches.  The people who think that rights to a woman's body should be legislated by a man.  Those who believe that white people are better than others.  Those who think that The Handmaid's Tale isn't necessarily a bad thing.  The incels who want to kill women who won't sleep with them.  The list goes on and on and on and they all exist.

Now imagine, and it isn't hard to do given the current climes, that people like this got into power.  Suddenly the people talking about left wing views, pro immigration, pro choice etc are the ones getting banned, non platformed and their voices shut down.  Their justification?  You did it to us.  That is all that they would need.

For me, ultimately, on my last, very long point here, is that we need to hear all opinions, all thoughts (unless as I said before, they actively are inciting violence), in order to formulate our own thoughts, disagree with them, actively speak against them and sometimes, laugh at them for what they think because their thoughts are so far from our own that their views become laughable.

If we lose our right to free speech, we lose everything.

Top Tips For What To Wear To A Wedding

I have been invited to a wedding in October and I have already started looking at outfits and shoes, trying to decide what to wear.

For this wedding I have been invited to both the ceremony and subsequent wedding breakfast, going straight through to the evening celebration at another location.  Which poses a problem.  What do you wear that is going to work for both parts of the wedding, at different times of day?

Here are some tips that I think will get you through a wedding with style and without offending the bride!

1.  Stay Classy

If you have been invited to a wedding, chances are that it is going to be a formal event (unless it is on a beach, then you might get a little leeway!).  So this is not a time to bring out your jeans.  Have a really good shop around for something formal, but also ideally something that you can wear again or style up to give you different looks.  No white please!

For the summer months, why not go with a mid length fishtail dress in a bright colour?  This one from SimplyBe is an absolute steal at £25.00.

As the wedding that I am going to is in October so I am looking for something a little more covered, but still stylish.  I love the River Island dresses that are around at the moment and am in love with this one which is very reasonable £65.00 and could be worn to a variety of events, not just a wedding.

2.  Think With Your Feet

Chances are, if you have been invited to both the day and evening events of a wedding, you are going to be on your feet, a lot.  There are a few different things to think about here.  

• You need a pair that are going to work for both day and evening wear.  Glitzy glitter covered heels look fab underneath a disco ball but not so much in a pew at a church.

• You want a heel height that still looks elegant and stylish, whilst also not being too high.  They have to be comfortable enough to wear the shoes for hours on end without killing your feet and of course, you have to be able to dance in them (after you have negotiated uneven flooring outside churches, cobbled streets etc).

• Try to go for neutral tones or black.  Matching that perfect colour of jade green from your dress may seem like a fab idea at the time, but you want to wear a shoe that you can wear again with other outfits (thereby justifying paying slightly more than usual for a gorgeous pair!).

I am loving these shoes at these black diamante shoes from River Island at the moment which have just a touch of sparkle and have a manageable, block heel which shouldn't prove hard to walk in.

Finally,

3.  Remember, it is someone's wedding day

When you are going to day and night event, probably surrounded by many people that you do not know; the urge to have a few more drinks than usual to "ease you up a bit" is an easy one to succumb to.  I know only five people at the wedding I am going to in October and that includes my plus one!

Everyone has a few too many drinks at weddings but make sure that you eat something at the wedding breakfast, have a nibble at the buffet later in the evening.   Tripping the light fantastic on the dance floor is one thing at a wedding, but there is always one that gets too inebriated and can potentially spoil a couple's wedding day.  Don't let that be you!

The Finishing Touches

When it comes to designing your home, whether you are on a budget or have money to spend, it is the finishing touches that will make or break your room and are what makes it special and stand out.

There are a million ways that you can add the finishing touches to your home, whether it be a wall mural in an otherwise white room or a large painting, or how you use textures and accessories to pack a punch.

When I think of what I would like to do with my own home, I always think of the quirky touches that I would like to add.  In particular, pieces that you would not expect to be a feature, but really makes the room.  For example, how about a contemporary radiator in a room that doubles as a statement piece?

Is it art or a integral part of the home?  Those kind of interesting questions about how you can combine design and usefulness really interest me.

They say that the best things in life are free, and in your home, one way that you can utilise a free resource is through the way that you allow the light in.  A skyline in a previously dark room or using the windows as your focal point.  No curtains, simple design and just letting the light flood your interior, allowing the sunlight to create the light and shade in your room.

Making your home stand out and make your own personal statement and aesthetic does not have to cost the earth.  It can be about the little touches that you make or alternatively larger pieces that make a larger statement.

I love the idea of a wall mural from Paris in my bedroom, or using an element that is both functional and artistic to create a talking point.

The most important thing for me about designing your home is that you put your own stamp on it.  Expressing your personality through the pieces that you choose, the colour on the walls and the way in which you choose to have the room speak to the person that enters.

Are you going for cool and classic?  Comfortable and snug?  Anything is possible whatever your budget if you put your mind to it; above all keeping your design to what you will love.  You have to live with it after all?

What design elements do you love in your home?

Romantic Destinations

When you think of romantic destinations to visit with your partner, where do you think of?  A romantic weekend in Paris or Florence perhaps?  A week in New York might encourage a dozen romantic moments; a walk in Central Park, a jazz club with cocktails and dimmed nights at 1am...

For a longer stay, perhaps a honeymoon or anniversary visit, I always think of an island, a beach, turquoise waters and just you and your partner.   For me, that place is Mauritius. 

Mauritius is the perfect destination for a long haul getaway with your love and Destination2 has some amazing places that you can stay on the island.  You can visit the website here.  

Whether you want to do nothing but lie on an idyllic beach and have a dip in the crystal clear waters or whether you want an excursion or two, Mauritius has everything that you could want.

Perhaps a romantic horse ride on the beach at sunset or maybe a diving experience in a submarine underwater trip?

You can also visit Des Deux Cocos which is a private island only a five minute boat ride away from Mauritius where you can experience the feeling of perfectly alone together, in a setting that is nothing short of paradise.

Don't think however that Mauritius is only beautiful beaches, there is a life and a beat to Mauritius that you have to experience.  How about a visit to Le Caudan waterfront in St Louis where you can find shops, craft markets, bars and casinos as well as the famous umbrellas on the waterfront.

Romance does not have to be a holiday or a trip.  It doesn't have to be a romantic meal out or a boat ride on a lake.  Romance can be as simple as running your loved one a bath surrounded by candles, a snuggle together at 5am, a note left on the fridge saying "I love you".

When it comes down to it, romance is a personal thing and revolves around the pair of you, together.  Whether it is waking up to a kiss in the morning, or lying on a beach, holding hands in paradise.

What is your kind of romance?