Why I'm Done With Online Dating

* This is a bit of a read

I never thought that online dating was for me.  I always wanted that chance meeting in a coffee shop, eyes meeting across the street; a friend that turned into the one you love.  That never happened for me and I decided what the hell?  Give online dating a whirl.

 

Tinder was never going to be for me,  The idea of swiping left or right (I never figured out which way was which) just on the basis of someone's face seemed superficial to me.  If you are looking for a partner, it has to be based on personality too.  This is a person you are, hopefully, going to spend the rest of your life with.  Tinder is for hook ups, nothing more.

My commitment to online dating was dubious at best so I chose a free dating site, Plenty of Fish.  I filled out my profile, was as honest as I could be and added the photos.  I decided in advance that the "Hi" messages were not going to get a reply. The people with the "fill out later" profiles were of no interest.

I have had more "Hi"s than I can count.  Some with more of a reply who were basically looking for a hook up.  Some who blatantly copied and pasted their auto first message.  I lost interest and only went on the site now and again.

I met my first online date after weeks of talking and finding more about each other.  He seemed like a nice guy and was really into me, which is always good.  I will call him T.  We lived over an hour away from each other but he was happy to come to me, which was a good sign.  We met in a local pub and within the first five minutes he was telling me that he had very severe anger issues and had been referred to a psychiatrist.  Great.

We messaged a few times after but I had no interest in meeting again.  I had no desire to have any kind of relationship with someone with anger issues.  The anger issues came out when I told him I could no longer commit to messaging him as my step dad had died.  He went ballistic.  Goodbye.

I went on the site less and less, dabbling occasionally on weekends but the messages I received were still the usual.  I went on a few more dates but there was a mutual no "click".  Then I got a message from, we will call him S.  S sent a great first message and his profile, actually filled out for a change was interesting.

We talked for around three weeks, first on the site and then moving to WhatsApp.  We had similar interests, a similar outlook on life and I really liked him.  We agreed to meet in Manchester which was a middling distance between us.

On the Saturday before our mid week date, I realised that there was something inaccurate on my profile; namely that when I created it, I was not smoking and now I am (yes  I know, bad Vicky).  I thought it was only fair that I let S know this in case he changed his mind about wanting to meet with me.

S was the kind of person who was texting me morning, noon and night, every day. If he didn't hear back from me after an hour, he would send another text to see what I was doing.  *Edit* on reading this paragraph after I typed it, I realised just how much of a red flag that is, and wonder how the hell I didn't think that at the time.

I did not hear back from him for the rest of the day, which was unusual for him but I figured maybe he wasn't into a smoker.

Just after midnight (when he starts his night shift) I got my first message.  Incensed that I had not told him previously, not believing that I did not know what my profile said as "he knew what was on his profile, every minute of the day!.  He demanded that I explained myself.

I responded, telling me I wouldn't be spoken to like that, especially after being honest.  I said that I no longer wished to meet and, not knowing how best to end the message, finished with "take care". Turns out that telling someone to take care is not the best idea.

From just after midnight to the time when I eventually blocked him completely at 3.30am, he proceeded to call me every variation of the whore that he could think of.  A "man like him would not be told to take care by a girl like me" apparently.

I don't know how many messages I received.  One probably every five minutes for a good three hours.  By the end, the combination of insults and thinly veiled (almost) threats, I was scared.  What I should have done is save the conversation, screenshot the worst of it and ring 101 the next day.  Hell, I could even have reported him to his employers considering that he was doing all of this on work time.

But I didn't think.  I was scared.  The level of rage directed at me was overwhelming and I will be honest,  I felt really scared for a few days.  Even though he knew what town I lived in but not my address, I found myself jumping at sounds outside when I let the dog outside.  He was a self professed "techie" and he knew I blogged.

Along with blocking him on WhatsApp and blocking him from POF, I also deleted my profile.  It is too easy to hide your true self on the internet.  I know that my personality is more exaggerated on the internet when I talk on Twitter or speak on my blog.  Because on here, I am unfiltered.  This goes the same for people who wish to hide their true selves.

I consider myself as having a lucky escape.  If I had not messaged him that day, I would have met up with him the following week.  If we had clicked,  I could have found out his true self when alone with him, heaven forbid at his place or somewhere on our own.

So I am done with online dating.  My match, my soul match if I ever find one will have to find me in pre internet ways.  I no longer trust the face on the internet.

Tips To Make Your Skin Glow This Summer

When it comes to skincare, my face can be sometimes problematic.

Although I have been lucky in that I have clear skin, I am frequently guilty of neglecting it, using soap and make up remover wipes rather than really looking after it.  

The issue for me is that my face sometimes reacts to products and there does not seem to be any indicator as to why.  If my skin decides that it does not like a product my face immediately goes bright red and sore.  Not a good look.

My skin is at its best when I use micellar water to remove my makeup and maintain a twice daily cleanse, toner and moisturiser routine.  I use micellar water from the pound shop which does the job perfectly.  I also use the Boots Essentials Cucumber cleanser, the Clinique No 2 Clarifying Lotion and the Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturising Gel which is the best product I have ever used. My face feels like it is saying thank you when I apply it.

I did also try out the Clinique facial wash but unfortunately, it does not agree with my skin and turns me into a cherry tomorrow.

Now is the perfect time to spring clean your skincare and one of the ways I want to look at my skincare is from a nutritional point of view.

Your skin consists of billions of cells. Each cell is an organism that requires oxygen and nutrients in order to thrive.

While many creams exist to moisturise and help the anti-ageing process, it is possible to improve the condition of your skin from the inside with the right nutrition.

I have just completed a one month course of Lumity which I will talk about in a separate blog post, but here are some of the things that you can do on a nutritional level to improve your skin.

The Science Bit

Skin can be subject to damage from free radicals, particularly if exposed to strong sunlight. There are 25 types of collagen in the body and, along with elastin, they give skin texture and structure. Free radical damage causes collagen and elastin to break down, which leads to wrinkles and skin losing its firmness. Antioxidants such as vitamin C and coenzyme Q10 can protect cells from the damaging affects of these toxic chemicals.

Dietary sources of vitamin C include fruits and vegetables, however this vitamin is easily destroyed by cooking and food processing. Levels of vitamin C are also reduced by factors such as smoking, drinking alcohol and certain drugs such as antidepressants and oral contraceptives. As a result, supplements are a great way to ensure that you get enough of this vital nutrient. The Recommended DailyAllowance (RDA) for vitamin C is 60mg/day of 120mg/day if you are a smoker.

Coenzyme Q10 is a vitamin-like substance which can be obtained from the diet, however most is manufactured within our bodies. Our ability to do this decreases from our mid-twenties, making supplements important. Coenzyme Q10 plays an important role in producing energy in our bodies and is also a powerful antioxidant. This means it protects the skin from free radical damage and promotes effective skin repair. Coenzyme Q10 has been proven to reduce the depth of fine lines and wrinkles over time.

Given that I am a smoker, taking a daily Vitamin C supplemental alongside some Coenzyme Q10 pills is something that I am going to implement into my daily life.

Fatty acids and skin repair

Essential fatty acids such as Omega 3 are required for healthy skin, hair and nails. The richest source of Omega 3 is fish oil from oily fish such as herring, salmon, tuna and sardines. Omega 3 is an anti-inflammatory, making it good for irritable, sore skin. Many people choose to take an Omega 3 fish oil supplement. Due to concern about environmental pollution in fish, it is safest to choose a supplement which contains oil from the flesh of the fish, rather than the liver.

Omega 7 fatty acids are perhaps less well known, but have a number of health benefits, including skincare. Omega 7 sea buckthorn oil capsules from Pharma Nord contain oil from a tiny berry and help with lubrication through the body, protecting the internal organs, as well as the linings of the eyes, mouth and skin. Sea buckthorn oil is one of the best natural oils for mature and wrinkled skin due to its essential fatty acid and vitamin E, C and A properties. It has nourishing, moisturising and restorative action, promoting tissue regeneration and reducing age-induced skin wrinkling and signs of premature ageing. Seabuckthorn oil also has natural sun protecting power.

The importance of blood flow

Blood supply to the skin is extremely important if the skin is to get all the oxygen and nutrients it needs. Pycnogenol is a plant-based extract from the bark of the French maritime pine tree and can be taken as a supplement to improve blood circulation. This can help with skin hydration and vitality. Pycnogenol can also help to reduce wrinkles by binding with skin proteins collagen and elastin to protect from various harmful enzymes. It also rebuilds elasticity, which is essential for smooth, youthful skin. It has also been shown to reduce over-pigmentation for a more even complexion.

In terms of sun care, sunburn is an inflammation caused by free radical induced tissue damage. By neutralising these free radicals, pycnogenol helps protect the skin from the stress and damage of sunburn.

In the UK we are all guilty of forgetting to use sun cream, thinking somehow that the sun is not as strong as it is when we go abroad, which is of course ridiculous.  

So my plan for healthy, glowing skin this summer, and continuing, is to start taking regular nutritional supplements and hopefully, I will soon have skin like a goddess!

*Collaborative Post 

It's All in the Present

Giving gifts can be really hard, especially when you’re buying for someone fussy or someone who doesn’t know what they want. It’s even harder when you’re buying for someone who has everything! You might have already read this guide to buying gifts - but check it out if you’re struggling.

Image by Flickr

However, there’s a few ways you can make even the most mundane gift seem special. Because, let’s face it, we’ve all been there. Sometimes people don’t want fancy gifts like jewellery. Sometimes, they just want practical, useful gifts they can use every day - and you can find some ideas on BuzzFeed. Dads and brothers asking for socks? Mums just wanting a nice new diary? They’re good gifts, and are obviously well appreciated and used. But they just don’t seem that special. So, when you’re faced with a tough gift giving situation, here are some tips you can use to make any present exciting.

Go for the personal touch

You can’t always give someone a really heartfelt, personal gift. If you had the time, talent and money, then you might be able to spend weeks or even months crafting a delightful present. But sadly, there are few of us that can do that. But there’s a way around this. If you’re buying someone something practical or useful, but not necessarily special, why not add some personalisation? It’s a really lovely way to mark something out as especially for that person. It turns a normal, practical present into something more special. And it shows that you’ve spent more time on their special day than simply ordering something online. There’s no limit to what you can personalise - check out sites like Giftsin24 for proof of that!

Choose the premium, high quality option

If the person you’re buying for has told you exactly what they want, then why not step it up a gear? Instead of buying a brand’s standard set of socks, why not look for the premium collection? Don’t just buy a boring diary - buy one with a gorgeous finish, embossed letters and thick paper. Even when you’re buying practical presents, you can still have fun. Shop around and see what gems you can find. It can sometimes be easier to buy gifts when you know exactly what you’re looking for! And buying premium gifts doesn’t always mean spending premium prices. This blog has some nifty hints and tricks to help you save money when buying from expensive, designer brands.

Spend time on gift wrapping and presentation

Image credit: Berries

So, you’ve settled for those bamboo wool socks with the personalised monogram on the side? Perfect. Now, to give it that extra special touch, concentrate on the wrapping. None of us admit it, but part of the fun of both giving and receiving gifts is the moment before you open it. If you’re unwrapping thick gift paper and undoing soft, satin ribbon, you’re going to be even more excited by the time you get to your gift. Plus, it shows that you’ve made an effort through the whole process - from thinking up the idea, to handing the gift over. Not bad for a pair of socks, eh! If you need a helping hand with where to start, read this guide from Happiness is Homemade.

*Collaborative piece

I've Had It, Just Vote!

So.  This is a ranting and yes, most probably patronising and frankly you may think "she is a bitch"post in parts, but honestly, I have fucking had it with some people.  (Yes there will be swearing too).

I have officially had enough with pussyfooting around non voters and the undecided.  It is election day tomorrow.  You have had since the 18th April to look at the information, decide between the parties; if you haven't decided by now, what the fuck have you been playing at?

Photo Credit

I am tired of being people's research assistant in comment sections.  I am frankly pissed off by this point of people saying that they aren't sure and want more information from people.  It is the eve of the election, what have you been doing?  

This is not just about bloody Brexit.  Yes, we are leaving. I voted remain but the two main political parties have agreed to go forward with it so I have to deal with it. This is about so much more than Brexit, if you bothered to look. 

I am sick of people reading things like the Daily Mail and deciding on their vote based on that.

Think I am biased against Daily Mail readers?  Well, yes, I have to admit, I am.  Just read the vitriol in the comments sections.  I am the Guardian reading lefty that they love to hate.  The difference being, I have done my bloody research!  I have read papers from every side of the argument, yes including the Daily Mail.  I have read the manifestos.  I have watched Question Time for months.  I have watched the questions and answers programmes to the leaders (not debates as Theresa May refuses to debate!!!).  I have gotten all the information I could, which has backed up my choice of whom to vote for.

To the people who have decided not to vote: 

Yes your vote will be a difference. 

Yes it does matter who you vote for. 

No they are not the same.

What I share below is unbiased fact of the main policies of the two main parties.  Yes unbiased.

TORY

Goodbye NHS. If the NHS goes private (as the Tories want and have investigated into), you will suffer. Get pregnant? Prepare to pay thousands.  Check out this link for more information. Free at point of access for the working only.  Elevated costs.  

Goodbye winter fuel and the triple lock on pensions. Goodbye free school meals for children which in some cases means they are losing their one hot meal a day.  Nurses are going to food banks.  I will just leave that bit there for you to ponder.

Security of this country is not properly staffed or funded.  The police warned Theresa May two years ago that she was sacrificing the country's security by getting rid of 20,000 police officers.  She called it scaremongering.  We have had three terrorist attacks this year in this country with proof in each that the attackers were reporting many times to security services but lack of resources meant that the reports were not properly looked into,  Theresa May has been Home Secretary/Prime Minister for SEVEN YEARS.

LABOUR

Free education including university tuition meaning more people who want to get a university education but could not afford it, will be able to. 

The NHS  will be properly funded.

More police. 

Big business taxed properly. 

Read the manifestos or if you can't be arsed, listen to the bloody news. 

I have had enough with this "I don't know/don't care" attitude. It fucking matters. People are dying under austerity cuts.  Dying cancer patients are having their benefits removed.  Look at the info, make up your mind, get off your backside and VOTE.

Watch this NHS pediatrician sob at the reality of the NHS and tell me it is not your responsibility to fucking vote. Sod "your country needs you to vote".  YOU need to vote for yourself.

RANT OVER. Now go, vote.

Boost Your Scent

A lot of us spend ages focusing on the way we look. In fact, we try and get the best makeup and hair products to ensure we look fantastic. And we take time working on finding great clothes to help us to look terrific. But there is something less obvious that we need to spend time working on. And it can boost our appearance much more than having luscious locks or beautiful nails. And that surprisingly is our scent. After all, it’s one of the first things people can notice about us when they meet us. And it can instantly make you more attractive. In fact, it can get guys interested if you have a great aroma. Therefore, here are some ways to boost your scent to increase your appeal.

Watch what you're eating  

You might not realise that what you are eating can have an effect on your smell. In fact, you could be walking around with a bad odour down to your food choices. Therefore, it’s worth looking at your diet to ensure you can boost your aroma. For starters, you need to cut down on the amount of red meat and spicy food you are eating. These both can give you a poor odour which will reduce your appeal and confidence. Also, you should avoid choline-rich foods like fish and eggs. After all, these can give off a fishy smell that you will hate. Instead, you should go for plant-like foods like spinach and kale which can boost your smell. And it can give you a naturally great scent. Also, increase the amount of fruit and vegetables in your diet. Not only are they healthy, but they are ideal for cleaning up your smell too!

Pixabay

Goodbye cigarettes

It can be so difficult to give up cigarettes. After all, it’s so easy to get into the habit of using them every single day. And a lot of people smoke them to relax their body. But while it might reduce your stress, there are a lot of downfalls to using cigarettes. For one thing, they can be incredibly pricey. In fact, a lot of people end up wasting a large percentage off their wages on the cigarettes. And it can have an effect on your health if you are a regular smoker. After all, you are at higher risk of lung cancer and heart disease. And it can affect your scent if you do smoke regularly. After all, it can be hard to shift the smell of nicotine from your clothes and body. And it can bring down your appeal if you do have this scent following you around. Therefore, it’s time to say goodbye to the cigarettes to ensure you sustain a better smell to make you more appealing!

Use a good fragrance

While you can work on ways to naturally smell good, you can also find some cheats to get you on the best scent path sooner rather than later. For one thing, you should find a great fragrance to use daily to help you smell fantastic. It will boost your smell and ensure you are appealing to the people around you. There are a lot of different perfumes around which can fit the bill. In fact, you will be spoilt for choice when you go on sites like The Beauty Store, or look in the high-street shops. Therefore, make sure you try different fragrances to see which one suits you. You might want to opt for a couple of different scents; one lighter for the daytime, and something more powerful for night. And with a great perfume, you will soon be raking in the compliments!

flickr

Opt for scented body lotion

It’s also a good idea to get a great body lotion you can use when it’s time for your daily bath or shower. After all, it can boost your smell to ensure you are appealing to others. And it can help you to have a great smell from first thing in the morning! After all, with a lot of body lotions, they can last for hours. Therefore, you can ensure you don’t have to worry about your smell throughout the day. So look at the different options in store for the best one to suit you. And if you would rather not buy one, you can make great body lotions and creams at home using natural ingredients like coconut. And you will soon have a great smell which leads to compliments.

Go for a great shampoo

We tend to pick a shampoo on the basis that it’s the best one to get our hair in a fabulous condition. After all, we want to ensure we have luscious locks for when we leave the house. But while it’s important to get a shampoo which ticks all the right boxes, you need to also go for a shampoo which will leave behind a fantastic smell. After all, you want your hair to smell fantastic to boost your appeal. And if you have great smelling hair, it can boost the whole aroma of your body too. Therefore, hunt down a fantastic shampoo which comes with a great scent. And you could even go for a leave-in conditioner. With one of these, you can ensure the smell remains even after you have finished washing!

   Image from flickr

Wear breathable clothing

A lot of people don’t think twice about how breathable the clothes are before they make a purchase. After all, they just pick the clothes all down to the stunning design. But you need to make sure you opt for breathable clothing if you want to ensure you have a great scent. After all, if you go for something which is tight and fitted, you are bound to get more sweaty during the day. And then you might give off a poor odour which will bring down your appeal. As well as having to deal with sweat marks which are never attractive. Therefore, opt for loose clothing which will ensure your smell stays on point.

And keep on top of shaving if you want to boost your smell. After all, less hair can mean a better smell for your body if it’s a hot day.

*A collaborative post

Top Honeymoon Destination Ideas

Image source

I have had a few friends get married in the past year and I always find it interesting what kind of honeymoon destination and idea that they go for.

There is no holiday more important and more special than your honeymoon. This should be the one trip of your life, where you go all out, no holes-barred, and go as big as possible, absolutely guilt free of any restricted budgets. This should be a holiday of a lifetime and one that you will never forget. If you concur, but are struggling a little on the inspiration side, here are our top honeymoon trip recommendations.

Cruise

The cruise, is surely the king of all luxurious trips away. If you are looking for a balance between adventure and exploration and some good old fashioned, unadulterated relaxation in the sun, then a luxury cruise could be just what you are looking for. Seabourn luxury cruises specialises in a range of luxury cruises, that could have you and your new wife or husband, off on a trip of a lifetime. So jump online and start researching the routes and packages that best suit your needs and preferences and take it from there.

Private Villa in Tuscany

There are very few places more romantic than Italy, and certainly no place more romantic than beautiful Tuscany. With the stunning Tuscan vineyards, historical little villages and the gorgeous weather, this is a top destination for newlyweds looking for a truly special place to celebrate their new life together, as man and wife.

Hiring a private villa in Tuscany is a wonderful way to relax and unwind after the stresses and strain that planning a wedding very often put us through. So why not look hiring yourself your own slice of honeymoon heaven? Idyllic, peaceful villa, glistening pool and breathtaking views over the Tuscan countryside.

Scuba-Diving Holiday

For those couples that are looking for something a little different to try out on their honeymoon, why not look into a scuba-diving holiday. Travelling to somewhere hot and exotic, is incredibly special in itself, however coupling it up with learning a new skill and exploring a completely new world, can be one of the most incredible experiences of your life. There are many different locations throughout the world that offer top-tier scuba-diving courses and experiences, so once you have settled on where you want to go, why not then look at the different diving schools available and just jump right on in and get it all booked.

Sailing & Island Hopping

Being out on the open waves can be a truly unique and liberating experience. So why not look into options of trying your hand at a little sailing and island hopping? Don’t worry if you have no idea how to sail, it is super easy to organise a boat charter these days, fully equipped with a skipper to look after you and your new spouse. Croatia is a fantastic location for island hopping and it is incredibly easy to sail from one island to the next. Along the way, you may even be able to try your hand at a little sailing. The rest of the time, you can just sit back, relax and take in the beauty of the Croatian coastline and its collection of charming and unique islands.

Going Tropical

Of course, one of the most popular ways for newlyweds to celebrate their new life together, as man and wife, is by going somewhere gorgeously tropical, exotic and of course, hot, hot, hot. There is a reason the secluded white sanded beach holiday is a firm favourite with honeymooners and that is because it is quite simply, indulgence and romance personified.

If you are wanting to whisk your new bride or groom somewhere far away and fabulous then it is always worth spending time getting your head around the best exotic locations out there. Cuba, for example is a fantastic place for honeymooners as it combines latin flair and passion with stunning Caribbean beaches. It is a really energetic place for couples looking to combine fun with chill out time.

Mauritius, on the other hand is a much more relaxed and low key honeymoon destination. The people are incredibly friendly, the food is fantastic and the beaches are unbeatable, meaning it is a great destination for honeymooners who are looking to relax and unwind.

For those on a budget, who can’t quite afford to travel so far afield, why not organise your honeymoon in the Greek islands. Santorini is one of the most beautiful parts of Greece and it offers a destination just as magical and romantic as any of the further afield, tropical islands.

Summer Party Days

As we edge into summer and even get to experience a little sunshine and heat, people's minds turn to having fun in the sun. One of the main ways of doing this, in this fair isle is to throw an unforgettable summer bash. But before you invited all the neighbours over, you need to make sure you sure home and garden are summer party ready. Read on to find out how.

Get that garden looking nice

Now, most summer parties will at least hope to take place outside. British weather permitting! That means there is no hiding the state of your garden!

You don't have to give it an all-out makeover though, a little facelift will suffice. Pay attention to thing like the grass mowing, and repair any patches. As well as tidying up the flower beds and any overhanging trees. So your garden will look its best when company comes calling.

Tidy up the house

As much as you need to make sure that your garden looks nice you can't ignore your house either. You may hope to keep everyone outside, but the chances are that they will defend their way indoor at some point. Either to escape from the rain or to use the faculties.

That means your home needs to be clean and tidy too, so don't forget to dust, Hoover, and pack away any clutter to give the best impression to our guests possible.

Seating

It is also important that while you are tidying the garden and the house that you check on the seating situation. Make sure that you have enough seats for everyone that you have invited, and that you don't mind them being taken outside if it's an outdoor do.

Or, if you rather not have your antique Chippendale on the lawn, invest in some plastic garden chairs for the occasion.

Cutlery and Crockery

One thing that it can be easy to forget when you are hosting a summer bash is that you need enough cutlery and crockery for all of the guests you are inviting.

Now, if you are hosting a larger soiree, it is best to use disposable cups and plates. As this make things easier, and you aren't left with a load of washing up afterward.

However, if you are planning a more intimate dinner party like affair, it's best to go for quality glassware and crockery, like the items available at homewares nz. As no one wants to have to eat their Foie Gras from a paper plate!

Image here

Food

Of course, one of the most popular items to eat at a British summer party is a BBQ. British BBQers are a hardy bunch as they often don't let a silly little thing like weather get in their way.

Now it does helps if you are going to BBQ cone rain or shine to have a grill with a cover. Then you can be sure that your food will still cook properly even if the weather is against you.

Then there's the option of a more refined and delicate afternoon tea. With cucumber finger sandwiches, scones jam, and cream.

The advantages to catering your party like this is that it can be all prepared beforehand, and then just set out nearer the time. Meaning it's a lot easier for you on the day of the event.

*Collaborative post