Last week I put out a shout out on Facebook and Twitter asking for guest posts for my blog. In particular what I was looking for were people's personal stories from people who either did not have a blog of their own or was not in their niche. Something that they wished to share.
The beautiful Lindsay answered my call with this post which I share with you today. I met Lindsay at +Betty Pamper's "Capturing the Curves" shoot and I can confirm that this lady is beautiful; both inside and out.
Here she is:
The lovely Vicky has asked her readers to guest blog about something important to them. So here’s mine.
Firstly I’ll introduce myself. I’m Lindsay, a 30 something married mum from Norfolk. I have a beautiful daughter, amazing husband, a seemingly perfect life. But the truth is for most of my adult life I have hated my body. To the point its had a negative impact on relationships, work and even with my family. I have been on various diets since I was 17. I have lost weight a several times and gained the weight back every time. The last 16 months I lost 6 stone. I hit my “target” in March of this year. Going from a 22 to as 12. So you may think great, end of story?? Wrong.
You see the truth is I was not any happier with myself. In fact I actually hated my body even more. I analysed everything I ate. Felt guilty constantly. I all of a sudden hated parts of my body, like my tummy that I’d previously not even noticed to the point where I’m embarrassed to say I took laxatives. All this anguish, this hurt, this unhappiness to be thin. To be that certain “acceptable size” then my life would be perfect right? Well I can tell you it's utter bull.
I became very poorly, mentally and in the end, I had to seek medical help. You see the size we are truly has no impact on our happiness. Anyone who say it does is lying. I mean its not like you lose weight and suddenly become a different person. You still have to deal with the same crap everyday. You just deal with wearing a different dress size. That’s it!
I remember back to Christmas 2013. Before I decided to lose weight. I was so happy. Enjoying some fizz, eating yummy Christmas food, excited about Christmas with my family. Then i took part in The Pampers and curves event in March 2014 and had a blast. But I still felt I needed to lose weight. Fast forward to spring this year, 6 stone lighter and I was miserable, insecure and stressed. My hair was thinning, my skin haggard and I had no energy. The health professionals said I was healthy. Was I hell!! I know for a fact I was healthier the year before!
So what’s the point of this post you wonder? Well I have come to the realisation that being thinner, being the ideal weight has not in anyway improved my life. I have discovered that it’s how we live our lives and who we live them with that makes us happy. I am not saying that if you want to lose weight you shouldn’t. Just don’t have any illusions that it will magic your life better. It won’t. I was happier fat!! Yup I said it!! Happier fat. When I wasn’t constantly battling with food, looking at myself in the mirror. Being quite frankly repulsive to myself.
If I can give any advice from my experience its don’t waste your life on diets. They just cause self hatred. I honestly believe there isn’t a single diet worth doing. They are all just trying to make money out of you. You actually losing weight and keeping it off is not there goal.
So I’m now going to really try to develop a more positive relationship with myself. I love all the plus size bloggers so I’m going to follow them. They are all so beautiful. I’m going to see myself that way. I am going to use my family and friends to seek happiness. Enjoy them.
It’s going to be a long journey. A difficult one I’m sure. But I need to, I want to change. I want to enjoy this amazing life I have. The size of my ass should not stop me from being happy. It’s ridiculous. A quote I remember from someone special to me.
“ Your body is merely a vessel to carry you about,
you are amazing, you are beautiful, you are always enough”
Thanks for reading,