17 January 2012

Shocking, Apparently

I am going to make a very shocking comment.  Apparently.  I do not want children.

I say “apparently” because I don’t find it a shocking statement.  But I am amazed at the amount of people who, when told (having asked), have reactions that range from scandalised to scathing and some who refuse to believe me.

The most irritating comment I get, on a frequent basis, is “You’ll change your mind”.  I’m sorry, but last time I checked I know my mind very well.  At 32 I’m quite able to make the big decisions.  Or the other classic “You just haven’t met the right man”.

People can, and do make the big decisions all the time.  Meat eater or vegetarian, gay or straight, religious or atheist, the list goes on and on.  All these choices are now socially acceptable.  You always get the idiots of course who will question these choices, but the majority of people will take what you say and that will be it.

But say that you don’t want children and people just don’t understand you. 

I would never dream of asking a parent why they wanted children.  Not just asking, but badgering, asking for detailed reasons.  But if you don’t want offspring, you find yourself under near interrogation sometimes, justifying your choice.

Personally, I am not a “child” person.  I have never had a maternal instinct.  In fact I would be the first person to admit that I am too self absorbed to have children.  I also couldn’t afford one either.  But my views on that particular point are a whole different blog.

So, to the “normal” people, as I have heard referred to as all those who want children as opposed to us “oddballs” who don’t want them, I say this.

I respect your decision to have children, please respect mine not to have them.  I work full time, I pay my taxes and in part, I am financially supporting you in your decision.  Please bear that in mind next time you question my decision.  

Mini rant over. 


  1. Love this post, Vicky. I agree with you that if you were going to have an overwhelming desire to have offspring, it would have happened by now. You should be respected for knowing your own mind. Surely it would be a terrible, selfish thing if you didn't want children, but had them to make someone else happy?

  2. People don't seem to have a problem sharing their opinions on why you are child-free and what you should do about it, do they ? And they would be shocked/offended if you turned round and asked them to justify why they have had children....

    Having said that, my overwhelming urge to have children only appeared when I hit 40. Just saying.... ;-)

  3. I love this. I'm 24 and people HATE when I say that I don't want kids. They feel the need to torment me because I feel that I know myself well enough to be confident in saying so. They always tell me I'll change my mind or I just don't know what I'm talking about. But seriously. I raised my 3 younger brothers and I've nannied for 2 separate families for a number of years. I've raised more kids than most people should. So please. Having children for some people is a CHOICE. I wish people would respect other people's words- and actions. No babies here. Thank you very much. LOVE that you had the rant to voice this topic!

    I'd love for you to check me out :) I'm a new follower to you!


  4. I will admit that I was one of "those" people and maybe in a small way still am. I just couldn't understand why people want to grow old and have no one to carry on where they leave off. I am very much into family history.

    I would never beat anyone down for their choice, I just don't understand it.

  5. I respect your decision too. If you are happy with what your situation is then that's fine. People cannot intrude it.


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