5 January 2012

Baby Steps

I’m a smoker.  I have been since the age of 14.  I’m not proud of it, but I’m not ashamed either.

Many people seem to look down on you when you say that you smoke.  If you are a considerate smoker, i.e. never smoking around non smokers, I don’t see why you should feel ashamed.  It isn’t like I am saying I’m a heroin addict (which I’m not before you ask).

Over the years I have thought about quitting, but until now that is all I have done about it.  Think.

The trouble is, I love smoking.  I bloody love it.  It calms me down when I’m stressed, it’s enjoyable with a drink of something alcoholic or after a meal. 

Obviously I am aware of the health issue.  It has always been at the back of my mind but unfortunately that competes with the side of me that doesn’t like being told what to do and it someone says I shouldn’t do something, I more than probably will. 

Over the New Year however I was away with friends, none of whom smoked and as such, the amount of cigarettes I smoked went down.  No one likes standing out in the cold for a cigarette and particularly not when you are on your own. 

I am usually a 20 a day person.  Over the New Year I went down to about 14, which given the amount of alcohol consumed over that period is amazing.  It started me wondering when I returned home if it was something I could keep up.   So I decided to give it a go.

The end plan of course is to eventually quit.  Health issues aren’t going to scare me out of smoking but the fact that I could have a lot more money at my disposal is more than tempting.  At this points “shoes” runs through my brain.

So for now, my little challenge is to maintain the 14 a day I started with at New Year.  Then once I have a handle on that, well, we will see how we go from there.  Baby steps, not a marathon is more likely to work with me. 

The end goal, stop smoking (without a goal date though as I don’t like to be pushed).  Present goal, maintain what I’m doing for a month and then review.  If I manage to quit completely, my aim is to use a few months’ worth of the saved money for a pair of Louboutins.  Now that is something to aim for as I am after all at heart a shoe girl.

I’ll let you know how I go on.

4 comments:

  1. Ich habe ca 15 jahre geraucht. habe auch gerne geraucht. dann wurde ich krank, grippe, und konnte 2 tage nicht rauchen. seitdem rauche ich nicht mehr.aber ich finde den alkohol viel schlimmer. er verändert die person und kann viel leid zufügen. dann darf man heute nicht dick sein. alles muss perfekt sein. der mensch ist nicht perfekt und das ist auch gut so. vielleicht schaffst du es aufzuhören, wäre toll und wenn nicht, geht die welt auch nicht unter. liebe grüsse

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  2. Well done Vicky, I wish you all the best. Like you, I smoked from about 14. Always around 20 a day, and yes, it really helped when I was stressed. I'm now 44 and I managed to give it up about 4 years ago. I think your approach of cutting down and seeing how it goes is a good idea, I too had pretty much the same idea and what really helped me was when I was in Canada and the law of having to smoke outside was already in place (unlike the UK at the time). I knew it would soon come to blighty and really didn't fancy that keep on going outside for a ciggy. So I knew I had to give up, then I run out of baccy and they didn't sell my brand out there, horror! I looked at this as fate and haven't smoked since. It wasn't easy, but what really helped was a nicotine patch, not a whole one, just cut a strip off about 5mm wide and stick along a vein on your arm. Helped me no ends.
    Good luck.

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  3. Thank you for the comments. People who have won the battle with constructive comments is always helpful and gives hope that I am on the right track.

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Thank you very much for commenting. I may not reply to them all but I read every one and it is very much appreciated.