Why The Only Box I Will Tick is Woman

I previously wrote a post about why I decided to become label free in my life.

Removing the labels that I, and others, had placed on me was a very freeing experience and allowed me to look at, review and analyse every piece of information that I came across without the restraints and expectations that so many of my previous labels had placed on me. 

There is one label, not a label really but a description that I will not remove.  I am a woman.  That will never change and I will defend that word and the correct usage of it as long as I have breath in my body.

We cannot change our biology and we have no need to do so.  A controversial opinion, for some, in today's ever changing climes.

The word woman describes our biology, but does not define what kind of woman we are.  This does not change no matter what our sexual attraction is, what our personality traits are or how we choose to outwardly represent ourselves to the world.

The so called traits of being a woman are based on what society perceives and has placed on what a woman can be.   But we can be anything we choose to be.  Except the opposite sex.  Because there truly is no need.

So much of my personality and who I am fits into what the word woman has come to mean.  I wear dresses pretty much exclusively.  I am shaped in what is described as a womanly shape.  I enjoy makeup.  I am shy.  Parts of me could be described as submissive (that one was hard for my previous feminist self to admit).  I demur when I shouldn't.

Those traits are all ones that transwomen emulate and outwardly portray as evidence that they are women.

Yet, I also have what society deems as traits belonging to a man.

I love motor racing.  I am not afraid to say what I think or share my opinions.  I am confident and can be forthright.  I will not back down when I believe I am right.  I can be assertive.  I see what I want and go for it.

I also am not motherly (apart from adoring my furry puppa), nor have I ever wanted children.

Today, that would probably be described as being non binary.  I am not non binary.  I am a woman. 

When you accept the sum of your parts, there is no need to define yourself as anything else.   Our biology is our physical parts and make up.  It does not define who we are and it never should.  Only woman can bear a child.  Only women can menstruate.  

Gender is a social construct.  

When you remove the constraints and constrictions that society places on you, you can truly be free to be who you are.  

That ultimately is where the transgender argument falls flat and becomes irrelevant.  Because being a woman or a man is not a feeling.  It is not a personality trait or a behaviour.  It is biology.

In a world where it is ever more important to put labels on yourself and place yourself into a box, the most important thing you can do is accept you are and embrace it.  You are a woman, or a man.  To claim otherwise ultimately is delusion and can only lead to unhappiness and denial.  Neither is healthy.

5 Summer Fashion Trends

Image Credit 

As far as summers go, this has been one of the weirdest as a result of the global pandemic. At some point, it began to feel a lot like summer had been cancelled. But thankfully, this time of year is still a glimmer of hope in the cold and dreary situation the whole world is facing now. 

Though the last thing on some people's minds right now is 'what's in' and 'what's not', it's a welcome distraction to get on board with what's trending this summer. Out of all the seasons, this one gives people the chance to be as expressive as can be. So, whether you've compiled your own summer wishlist, or you're simply looking for inspiration, here are 5 summer fashion trends we simply can't get enough of. 

1. Ugly sandals

We never thought we'd see the day where something with the 'ugly' in front of it would become a fashion trend. But here we are, and we're loving it. It follows in the footsteps of several other 'ugly' trends such as chunky dad sneakers and mom jeans. Now, though these sandals aren't actually ugly or an eyesore, the fact that they are not dainty or delicate makes them stand out. 

They come in a more athletic and chunky design than most options you'll find out there. Then there's the added touch of adornments on the straps that are nothing if not playful. 

Since it's official unveiling at the 2018 Prada Spring show, these sandals have become a hit once again. The great thing about them is their newfound versatility. Throw them on with a pair of jeans, a maxi dress, or even a nice skater dress. The possibilities are endless. If you don’t consider yourself the type to often jump on fashion trends, this is one bandwagon you should definitely jump on. 

2. A stylish pair of frames

It's no secret that glasses have been in for a while now and that has definitely not changed this year. In fact, a pair of shades can do wonders to elevate your whole look. What makes it even better is the fact that there's a big selection to draw from depending on the look you're actually going for. 

It ranges from transparent glasses all the way to the ever so popular aviation glasses. Summer is just that time to break out the glasses. The great part about this trend is that it's quite functional too. It's no secret that harmful UV rays can wreak havoc on the eyes when the exposure is too much. So, this fashion trend may very well be beneficial to your eyesight. It doesn't hurt that it makes you look good too. 

3. Denim head-to-toe

This is not your run of the mill old school denim on denim, there are so many ways to make this work. That washed out and distressed look is actually really in right now. Sure, it sounds like you’ll practically be punishing the jeans, but the end result is just what summer is all about. 

You can try out this look by pairing a denim jacket with shorts, or full-length jeans. A nice, neutral button-up shirt inside adds a little bit of oomph. There's also the option of going full-on denim, which is still as flattering. Altogether, this is one summer fashion trend you should not miss out on. 

4. Crotchet dresses

Crotchet dresses are another fashion trend that is now viewed in a whole new light. Cast your mind away from that nerdy-looking outfits your gran would send over at Christmas. No, the sex appeal here has been cranked up a couple of notches. Their airy and somewhat transparent nature makes them the perfect pairing for a summer day out. 

Whether it comes in the form of a nice crop top, a mini or maxi dress, this is one get up that looks effortlessly chic. Even more, you can opt for nice crochet accessories ranging from hats to jewelry. It's all together, fresh and incredibly appealing once you see what's on the market. 

5. Spaghetti strap tank top

Something as effortless, comfortable, and good looking as this should always be on style. Luckily, it's in style now and it goes perfectly with just about anything. If there is one thing about summer fashion that stands out, it's the sheer effortlessness. A simple tank top can pair perfectly with anything from jeans to a skirt and even a pair of shorts. If you haven't grabbed one yet, summer is still upon us, it's not too late. 

Changes Are Afoot

I started my blog "What Would Ripley Do" a year ago.   In that year, I have written 11 posts.  A tiny amount, especially given that when I ran my old blog, I was writing on average 100 posts a year, for nearly 10 years.

I found going anonymous hard as I am at heart, a sharer when it comes to writing.  As I have said before on this blog, my feelings and thoughts always flow through me more when my thoughts come out through my fingertips and are not outwardly spoken.  As a result, there is a lot of me in my old blog. 

Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash

But what do I do now when I write anonymously?  I can share my thoughts and beliefs here without revealing anything about myself, like I do on Twitter and now also on Parler (this will be a future post I feel); but not to share pieces of myself when I write would just not be me and this is why I think I have been suffering from writer's block.

It also feels strange to talk about myself here to a readership of little or none, when previously, I had readers of my work who either knew me, or got to know me through my writing.  I was not by any means well know, but I also knew that I was not talking into the void, with no one to read my thoughts but myself.

But here I am now.  My urge to write has overridden everything and so here I am, talking to myself or perhaps the one or two that may read this and so I must begin by saying hello.  Whilst you will never know my name, where I am or what I do for a living, you can get to know me through this blog, if you wish.

The thing that I was most proud of when I met people who had read my blog before but never met me until that time, was that some said that whilst they hadn't known me in real life, they felt as if they knew me and that the person presented before them was not a stranger.  

So I have started a new path.  I will say what I think and be honest about it.  I may hide my identity but will not shy away or hide who I am as a person.  If you ever meet me, you can decide if that is the person I am offline.  I would like to think so.



I am a single issue person who will listen to most (exceptions obviously before anyone asks me if agree with the obvious deplorables, although that is also subjective).  You may agree or disagree with posts I write from hereon in, but I like and enjoy open conversation.



You can never win an argument or sway someone to your corner if you do not understand or will listen to both sides of the debate.



Signing off x

Fighting Depression

I sometimes compare having depression to being a boxer, fighting in a ring.

Both you and the black dog are in a dance, with you trying to repel the quick jabs and the hard punches.  You duck and dance and deflect and sometimes manage to get a punch in there yourself too.  Some fights you will win, some you will be defeated.  That match is done and the next day you will get up, shake yourself off and fight once again.  

Just like boxing, depression is not a team sport and you are in the ring alone.  No one else can fight for you and your opponent is invisible to everyone but yourself.



Each morning you wake up and find out whether you have a normal day ahead of you, or a fight.  At the back of your mind you hope that one day, it is not a fight to the death.

Image from Unsplash

The things that I have heard people say about those of us who have depression disgust me.



I am not weak.  I am not lazy.  I am not as someone once said to me "wallowing in self pity".  I am strong.  Stronger than they are.  I would challenge anyone who thinks that depression is easy to spend some time in our shoes.



Unless you have had depression, you will never really know just how bad it can get.  How sometimes it feels like your soul is dying and your heart is shattering into a million pieces.  It takes a lot of strength to just get out of bed some days.  But we do.  We get up, we go to work and we hide the monsters that are attacking us just beneath the surface.

I started another battle with the dog today.  Everything I have done so far today has taken effort and strength.  All I want, and still want while I write this post, is to go home, hide under duvet and binge watch Bob Ross.  But instead, I reminded myself of what I have accomplished so far today, with each step a punch, however tiny, against the black dog who seeks to hold me down.



I dragged myself out of bed                  Punch!



I got myself dressed                                 Punch!



I left the house and got on the bus                     Punch! 



I went to work and spoke to client                         Punch! Punch!



I had a telephone conference and put my points across        Punch! Punch! Punch!



I am writing to you now                The black dog starts to back away a little



That sounds like a very normal day and indeed it is, there is nothing special about it at all.  But accomplishing even the smallest step feels impossible when depression hits and your tears are only a blink away.  Everything takes effort and will.



Some days, you know that there is no fight in you.  Not even the smallest steps are possible.  That is ok.  It takes as much strength to admit defeat when you need to, as it does to come out punching.  Even when the day is a loss and I feel like I have slipped down into a deep, black pit with that bloody dog standing at the top, snarling at me; I am silently picking myself up, inch by inch, for the next day.



I have spoken about how having depression is like being a boxer in a ring.  It also involves being an actress.  Whilst I am able the majority of time to have a normal day, go to work and converse with people, the symptoms of my depression are being held back by me, just under the surface.



My smile may not reach my eyes, but I am able to get through a day without anyone noticing that there is anything wrong.  (I do not recommend this to anyone, it isn't healthy.  But it is my way, for now).



Tears are either supressed or fit into time slots when no one else will notice.  I switch off my heart so the heartbreak I feel doesn't show whilst I speak to a client or a colleague.  How do you switch off your heart?   Practice.  Years of practice.  You are however turning yourself into a walking stone, for essentially other people's benefit.



I will finish my working day.  I will go home and allow myself to feel again.  The duvet will come into play while I recharge.  The gentle tones of Bob Ross will sooth my soul.  Tomorrow, if the black dog has stuck around, I will do all this again.



Tell me I am not strong.

When Did The Liberal Left Turn Into a Woke Cult?

Indoctrination can be achieved in many different ways.  From the drip drip method that is barely even noticeable, to utter submersion.



When I was a child, I went to a religious primary school where the local vicar was a regular visitor.  I was told that I was a Christian before I even knew what or who a Christian was.  Religion was dripped into my forming mind with prayers three times a day and hymns at morning assembly.



At that age I just did what I was told, believing that that was just the way things were.  I was not old enough to realise that I choose to have a religion or not.  I could choose a different mindset, a different path.

Photo by Zac Durant on Unsplash

Religion and I collided a few years later and we went our separate ways.



Religion can be many things for many people. A hub to the local community, an enrichment to people's lives, or simply just a comfort or safety net that some need or want.  It can be part of who someone fundamentally is and can form the basis of their moral code, their bench mark for right and wrong.



But religion can also be escalated to cult level, making you condone things you never would before.  Do things that you would never do.  It is also the perfect excuse to control people and has been used in this way for centuries.  Blind faith can be dangerous.



Religion has been a very useful tool for the subjugation of women.  It is, to quote one example, what allowed, arranged and condoned thousands of young girls and women to be locked away in the Magadelene Laundries in Ireland for the crime of having a baby, for being presumed "promiscuous", or simply in some cases; being too pretty.



It is why women were told that their place was in the home and the man's place was head of the household, and her.  "It is written in the bible Susan, don't you want to obey the word of God?"

"Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. 

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the 

head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 

As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything 

to their husbands” (Eph. 5:22–24)."

Blind faith is how monsters are not only made, but how they can flourish in plain sight.



So where and why does this fit into what I wanted to talk about today?  Because blind faith is not just about religion.   It can be about any movement, group, shared belief system.



When I began to become interested in politics and feminism, the left side of politics seemed like the perfect fit for me.   The "morally right"  The good.  The just. There was a general assumption that the liberal position was the good and anything to the right was wrong.  There was only one choice for me, clearly.



So too with feminism.   I wanted rights and equality for women.  As I learned about feminism I also educated myself about intersectional feminism, named to include woman of all races, ethnicities, class, culture, age etc.  I wanted that.



So there I was, a left leaning intersectional feminist when one day, I saw a man winning a women's cycling competition. A man who identified as a woman but not only identified, said he was an actual, biological woman.



From there my fall down the rabbit hole was swift.  Suddenly, a man with a beard who wore skirts and had decided he was a lesbian, was a real woman.  One who went into schools for Stonewall teaching children they could be born in the wrong body.  Listen to Magdelen Burns about that one.

Lesbians who didn't accept "lady dick" were transphobic.

Talking about being pregnant and giving birth was transphobic because it didn't include transwomen.  Having a women only group on Facebook talking about menopause was transphobic.  Men's mental health groups were disbanded because they would not include transmen.  Women meeting to discuss women's rights were transphobic.  Refuges should accept transwomen, or they would lose their funding (again this year too).  I could go on and on and on and on.



Every FUCKING thing that did not place men identifying as women front and centre, became transphobic.



We were told that words were actual violence.  That we were killing people by saying the immutable fact that you cannot change sex.  A woman lost her job for saying this.  Told that her views were "not worthy of respect in a democratic society".



Children as young as FOUR being referred to a gender clinic.  Teenagers being prescribed puberty blockers like they were sweets.  4500% rise in referrals to Tavistock.  Three quarters of those being girls.



The rabbit hole is so deep you could drown in it.



The world went mad before our eyes.  Yet people, including myself, who questioned this idealogy, were called bigots.  That anything other than the ultra left view was right wing. We were not worthy of being called feminists.  We were TERFs.  What the ACTUAL FUCK???



Where did the left go so wrong, so fast?  Moreover, why the hell have so many fallen for the indoctrination?  Why are doctors now scared to question if a child is transgender?  Why have politicians fallen hook, line and sinker for this?  Lisa Nandy saying that transwomen who rape women belong in women's prisons because they identify as women.  This article goes a long way to explain that.



So where do liberal feminist women who have been thrown out of the left, thrown out of what is now called feminism do?  We fight.

We organise.  We educate.  We agitate.

A New Lease of Life

Whether you live in a city, town, village or hamlet; transport and how we get from A to B is something that affects us all.

In our every day lives, transport is something that has to be factored into nearly every decision we make.  Where our children will go to school and how to get them there.  How long our commute to work will take and whether the same is more cost and time efficient in a car, train or bus.  Whether that night out is really worth it, when you will be spending £40 on taxis.

Roman Fox

For the past ten years I have been using public transport and taxis to carry out both my commute and my every day/social life. 

I want my own space back.  A simple journey to the shops that does not take an hour and two buses, but takes ten minutes.  I don't want to wait at a freezing cold bus stop, for a bus that frequently does not come.   I want to go to the cinema knowing that I haven't spent more on transport than the ticket.

I want to put down the pedal down on my own metal.

I want a car.  But, what I don't want is a long term commitment or to be fixed in financially for five years.  What I do want is a good, new or nearly new reliable car that will keep me safe, keep me in comfort and not an old banger like I used to drive.  So what to do?

Malte Wingen

There are many different options when it comes to buying, hiring or leasing a car and I have looked at all of them.  As I said, I don't want to be committed for years on a large payment, nor do I want to hire, which seems expensive and without the added benefits of leasing where you can get maintenance in with your contract.

Deciding to look at more high spec cars, again with safety in mind, I looked at The Best Volvo Lease Deals and did a comparison of how much I would pay over a 36 month period with leasing versus hire.

I specifically looked at the Volvo S90 T4 Momentum Plus as being a good combination of the great safety record of Volvo, with a sleek elegant look and a good engine size for the speed that I love.  Safely first of course!

The figures came out at over £2,600 less money paid by leasing the vehicle versus hiring it over the same 36 month period.  

This particular vehicle is worth over £38,000.00.  Looking at a cheaper vehicle for additional comparison, I looked at the Nissan Micra 1.0 PS117 N-Sport which is approximately £17,000.00.

The saving still worked out comparing leasing over hiring.  Looking again at the same 36 month contract, with 10000 miles allowed, the saving was over £1,100.00.

In summary, if you do not want to get tied into a long contract to buy a vehicle and want to see what is best option of leasing versus hiring, leasing is the cheaper option and also, allows you to add maintenance into the contract.

Now to look at what vehicle I want to lease!