Taking A Step Away

After some reflection, I
think that I am going to have a break away from Twitter.

I need to take some time away
from the conversations I have there, on the subjects that I do.  My views have not changed and they will not
change, but Twitter is a beast that can control and take over you sometimes and
I feel that this is a step I need to take.

I feel like I have talked about
and been in the grip of talking about trans issues, self ID and Mermaids/the
Tavistock and children every day for a couple of years now and I have forgotten
that there are other things, other subjects. 

I get so angry sometimes at the
things I read that it changes my day for the negative, usually before 9.00am and
that is not healthy, especially when I have to be careful with myself with
regard to mental health.

I also get so embroiled that
sometimes I do not think before I post and say things that I regret.

A good friend reminded me yesterday
that there are real people behind Twitter handles.  A friend that I have hurt by a couple of
things I have retweeted/said.  Because I
was still embroiled in the details over the Tavistock case, I retweeted and
allowed myself to become part of hurtful language that I would not wish upon myself.  I did not think clearly when I posted and I
regret the language used.

To qualify what I mean, I
retweeted someone saying “it is not grooming to expect an 11 year old to know
about orgasms you absolute weirdos”.  I
called them fucking insane.

If I had looked back at their
previous tweets, I would have known that they were talking about specifically
about sex education.  It is important
that children learn about their bodies and understand what sex is, if for no
other reason than to understand if an adult did something to them, that they
would know that it was wrong.

What I don’t believe and this is
the hill I was coming from, is that children cannot possibly understand (or be
expected to understand) the concept of losing something that they have never experienced.  In this case, an orgasm.  I can’t believe I am talking about children
in relation to this, but this is where we are at.

Children as young as ten which is
what was discussed in the Keira Bell case, are being asked to consent to puberty
blockers with the long reaching possible outcomes not properly explained to
them.  Subjects that they cannot possibly
understand at that age.  Loss of fertility,
lack of growth of genitalia, potential loss of orgasm, vaginal atrophy etc.

I believe that this is wrong.  But I do not believe that using words such as
grooming, abuse and pedophilia is right, correct or just.   Using such words makes me no better than
those who would abuse me and others online. 

Specifically in this case I did
not look at the content of this woman’s tweet, which was specifically about
education and instead jumped to attack, retweeting her words and calling her
insane.  That was wholly wrong.

We, or at least I in this
conversation have forgotten that it is healthy for children to learn about
their bodies.  I have fallen so far down
the rabbit hole of what the Tavistock is doing, that I could not see anything
else.  

I’ve hurt a friend because of
this and I’m truly sorry.

So I’m taking a step away from
Twitter and the conversation for a while. 
When I come back, I hope to re engage with the conversation and still
continue to fight for what I believe; but without some of the vitriol I have
used in the past and recently.

See you all in a while.

Self ID - What Is The Worst That Can Happen They Said

To look at what the worst that could happen if self ID was put into law, we first need to look at why women are entitled to single sex spaces by law.

For this I turn to the website Fairplay for Women which explains, in clear language for anyone to understand, why single sex spaces came about and why they are needed.

The Equality Act 2010 is in place in order to protect groups of people from disadvantage or unfair treatment.  Out of the nine protected characteristics, one of them is sex, ie a man, woman, boy or girl.  

Sex does not include gender reassignment and even if a person has a Gender Recognition Certificate, there are still six areas which make it lawful for men, including trans identifying men, to be excluded from.  These include sport (where one sex has a physical advantage over the other, occupation (where for example a counsellor is working with female rape victims) and single sex services (to include things like a cervical cancer screening, a woman's refuge, hospital wards changing rooms, bathrooms  etc) and single characteristic associations (which covers groups with memberships of a single sex).

These laws are in place for women's safety, to prevent disadvantage and unfairness and to allow us to assemble as a group without allowing men within that group.

Given that it is not a requirement to undergo gender reassignment surgery in order to have a Gender Recognition Certificate, only for the intent to be in place (which can be revoked), it makes perfect sense why exemptions are in place.

Despite the disregarding and flouting of these laws many organisations, businesses and charities (unfortunately to include some women's charities, these laws remain in place and can and should be enforced.

Which brings us to the question of self ID which trans rights activists want, campaign and demand.  Demands which would effectively rip up the Equality Act.

They ask us, what is the worst that could happens.  Trans people just wish to live their lives.  Stop focusing on  people's genitals.  

But if self identification was brought into law, any men, trans identifying or not, would not only be allowed into single sex spaces, but would be allowed to be there unchallenged.  To do would allow the challenger to accused of a hate crime.

When a man enters a single sex space currently, we can at least challenge and report.  But self identification allows any sex offender, any autogynephile, any man who wishes harm against women into our spaces without challenge and removes our safety.

This is unacceptable. 

They tell us that it is only a small number of trans people that commit crimes against women.

The fact remains however that 50% of the trans prison population are sex offenders or are Category A prisoners (60 out of 125 prisoners).  This figure is very likely to be higher given that the MOJ do not count short sentences, people with a GRC or people who have not officially declared that they are trans.

I would refer you to a list (not complete) of the sexual crimes committed by transwomen since 2014.

One of the people on this list is Daniel Reeves, who identifies as Ella Davies.  This person was convicted of holding over 1000 images of indecent images of child, to include child rape and torture.  They absconded for two months prior to the Court hearing .  This is how police described them while they were on the run, without a photograph.

Credit

Is there any wonder that members of the public could not correctly identify "Ella"?

I could ramble on all day as to why self identification should not and can not ever be brought into law, but to see how far the worm hole could go if this took place, I will leave you with this:

If we do not fight self ID, we invite anyone who wishes to harm women, girls and, it sickens me to say, babies into our world and our spaces to do their worst.

FIGHT.

We Will Not Be Silenced

The Karen meme has been around for a few years now and I think that most understand the description.



What we understand to be a Karen is typically a white woman with an large attitude problem combined with an over subscribed entitlement who is the bogey man of customer service representatives, stores and restaurants.  She can elicit fear in someone a hundred paces away.

I do not have a Karen in my life, but have seen the type and the aftermath that they can create.  I have even given a poor coffee shop worker a hug after they experienced what I can only describe as a tsunami of rage, over a drink not being hot enough (after I add that she had been sitting with the thing, not drinking it for 20 minutes).

They exist and they walk among us.

Karen videos, memes and shared experiences of Karens are all over the internet, but lately, in the past few months,  the use of the word Karen and the meaning behind it has changed and been extended, by some, to encompass any woman who dares to have a voice or an opinion.

There is a veiled threat now, be "nice" or be a Karen.



The meme has grown to such an extent that the context in which it is used has metamorphosed into an element of control.



Express an opinion, OK Karen.  Disagree with a point, OK Karen.  Raise an issue, OK Karen.  Stick up for yourself, OK Karen.  It is being used to silence.  To dismiss, demean and shut down.  Case in point:

As you can see above, even someone who you would think had a moderate degree of intelligence as both a doctor and PHD thinks that it is acceptable to (try) shut down a woman in this way.  That intelligence disappears into misogyny when faced with an intelligent woman with a counter argument it seems.



This where the need by some to control women comes out and they show you who they really are.  I know many intelligent men who are not intimated or incensed by a woman with an opinion.  They want an intelligent discussion, not a mindless doll.



While I usually see men using the term, the woke women have been known to use it too.  That saddens me even more.



How do you respond to the slur then?  Any attempt to fight your corner would be labelled as argumentative, too confident, too self important.  To those using that term against us, they would take anything other than immediate submission as proof of our "Kareness".



In the same way as OK Boomer is being used  as a tool to waive away anything that the older generation says as irrelevant and outdated nonsense, OK Karen is now being used as an attempt to silence our voices and ridicule our thoughts and opinions.



Heaven forbid that a woman has an opinion.



Well this woman is not shutting up.  You can call me Karen if you think it will silence me, but it will not.  Any more than it will shut up women like J K Rowling.



I have news for you, the more you try to silence us, the louder we will shout.

Why The Only Box I Will Tick is Woman

I previously wrote a post about why I decided to become label free in my life.

Removing the labels that I, and others, had placed on me was a very freeing experience and allowed me to look at, review and analyse every piece of information that I came across without the restraints and expectations that so many of my previous labels had placed on me. 

There is one label, not a label really but a description that I will not remove.  I am a woman.  That will never change and I will defend that word and the correct usage of it as long as I have breath in my body.

We cannot change our biology and we have no need to do so.  A controversial opinion, for some, in today's ever changing climes.

The word woman describes our biology, but does not define what kind of woman we are.  This does not change no matter what our sexual attraction is, what our personality traits are or how we choose to outwardly represent ourselves to the world.

The so called traits of being a woman are based on what society perceives and has placed on what a woman can be.   But we can be anything we choose to be.  Except the opposite sex.  Because there truly is no need.

So much of my personality and who I am fits into what the word woman has come to mean.  I wear dresses pretty much exclusively.  I am shaped in what is described as a womanly shape.  I enjoy makeup.  I am shy.  Parts of me could be described as submissive (that one was hard for my previous feminist self to admit).  I demur when I shouldn't.

Those traits are all ones that transwomen emulate and outwardly portray as evidence that they are women.

Yet, I also have what society deems as traits belonging to a man.

I love motor racing.  I am not afraid to say what I think or share my opinions.  I am confident and can be forthright.  I will not back down when I believe I am right.  I can be assertive.  I see what I want and go for it.

I also am not motherly (apart from adoring my furry puppa), nor have I ever wanted children.

Today, that would probably be described as being non binary.  I am not non binary.  I am a woman. 

When you accept the sum of your parts, there is no need to define yourself as anything else.   Our biology is our physical parts and make up.  It does not define who we are and it never should.  Only woman can bear a child.  Only women can menstruate.  

Gender is a social construct.  

When you remove the constraints and constrictions that society places on you, you can truly be free to be who you are.  

That ultimately is where the transgender argument falls flat and becomes irrelevant.  Because being a woman or a man is not a feeling.  It is not a personality trait or a behaviour.  It is biology.

In a world where it is ever more important to put labels on yourself and place yourself into a box, the most important thing you can do is accept you are and embrace it.  You are a woman, or a man.  To claim otherwise ultimately is delusion and can only lead to unhappiness and denial.  Neither is healthy.

5 Summer Fashion Trends

Image Credit 

As far as summers go, this has been one of the weirdest as a result of the global pandemic. At some point, it began to feel a lot like summer had been cancelled. But thankfully, this time of year is still a glimmer of hope in the cold and dreary situation the whole world is facing now. 

Though the last thing on some people's minds right now is 'what's in' and 'what's not', it's a welcome distraction to get on board with what's trending this summer. Out of all the seasons, this one gives people the chance to be as expressive as can be. So, whether you've compiled your own summer wishlist, or you're simply looking for inspiration, here are 5 summer fashion trends we simply can't get enough of. 

1. Ugly sandals

We never thought we'd see the day where something with the 'ugly' in front of it would become a fashion trend. But here we are, and we're loving it. It follows in the footsteps of several other 'ugly' trends such as chunky dad sneakers and mom jeans. Now, though these sandals aren't actually ugly or an eyesore, the fact that they are not dainty or delicate makes them stand out. 

They come in a more athletic and chunky design than most options you'll find out there. Then there's the added touch of adornments on the straps that are nothing if not playful. 

Since it's official unveiling at the 2018 Prada Spring show, these sandals have become a hit once again. The great thing about them is their newfound versatility. Throw them on with a pair of jeans, a maxi dress, or even a nice skater dress. The possibilities are endless. If you don’t consider yourself the type to often jump on fashion trends, this is one bandwagon you should definitely jump on. 

2. A stylish pair of frames

It's no secret that glasses have been in for a while now and that has definitely not changed this year. In fact, a pair of shades can do wonders to elevate your whole look. What makes it even better is the fact that there's a big selection to draw from depending on the look you're actually going for. 

It ranges from transparent glasses all the way to the ever so popular aviation glasses. Summer is just that time to break out the glasses. The great part about this trend is that it's quite functional too. It's no secret that harmful UV rays can wreak havoc on the eyes when the exposure is too much. So, this fashion trend may very well be beneficial to your eyesight. It doesn't hurt that it makes you look good too. 

3. Denim head-to-toe

This is not your run of the mill old school denim on denim, there are so many ways to make this work. That washed out and distressed look is actually really in right now. Sure, it sounds like you’ll practically be punishing the jeans, but the end result is just what summer is all about. 

You can try out this look by pairing a denim jacket with shorts, or full-length jeans. A nice, neutral button-up shirt inside adds a little bit of oomph. There's also the option of going full-on denim, which is still as flattering. Altogether, this is one summer fashion trend you should not miss out on. 

4. Crotchet dresses

Crotchet dresses are another fashion trend that is now viewed in a whole new light. Cast your mind away from that nerdy-looking outfits your gran would send over at Christmas. No, the sex appeal here has been cranked up a couple of notches. Their airy and somewhat transparent nature makes them the perfect pairing for a summer day out. 

Whether it comes in the form of a nice crop top, a mini or maxi dress, this is one get up that looks effortlessly chic. Even more, you can opt for nice crochet accessories ranging from hats to jewelry. It's all together, fresh and incredibly appealing once you see what's on the market. 

5. Spaghetti strap tank top

Something as effortless, comfortable, and good looking as this should always be on style. Luckily, it's in style now and it goes perfectly with just about anything. If there is one thing about summer fashion that stands out, it's the sheer effortlessness. A simple tank top can pair perfectly with anything from jeans to a skirt and even a pair of shorts. If you haven't grabbed one yet, summer is still upon us, it's not too late.