Showing posts with label nerves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nerves. Show all posts

23 November 2012

A Time for Joy

You know sometimes you have a day when everything around you is wrong and going badly?  When you can’t see a way forward and your mood is full of doom and gloom.  Well today isn’t that day.

Today is happiness.

I’ve posted previous about waiting for my first university essay to be marked.  After submitting 2 ½ weeks ago I have been full of trepidation, nerves and at times, sheer panic.  Had I answered the question correctly, would I pass; did I have enough examples; right through to have I made the right choice in doing a degree.

 The Open University scoring system is different to other universities. 

40%                 Pass
40 – 54            3rd
55-69               2.2
70 – 84            2.1
85 – 100          1st

There are the expectations that you have in your head and the ones that you will say aloud, and then the ones that you really want, but can’t say or think.

Aloud I said that I just wanted the pass and any mark thereafter would do, in my logical head I wanted a clear pass, a 2.2 mark.  I didn’t think that I could do any better than that on my first essay.  The little voice inside wanted a 2.1 mark.

Well today, the little voice won the bet.  I got 78% which is right in the middle of a 2.1.

Whilst it is only a very tiny step in the long road I have ahead in my degree, it has answered the question that is the most important to me.

Can I do this?  HELL YES I CAN.

Today is one to remember.


26 September 2012

First Day Jitters

Last night I started my university degree.  It was a very strange feeling to be honest.

I had all the nerves and jitters of someone walking into a university classroom for the first time, except the classroom was my sofa and a coffee table and I was the only student.

I spent the first hour browsing through all the material I had received and familiarising myself with what would be expected.  A study plan was drawn up and I was as organised as I could be.  But then, you open the learning companion……

I don’t care who you are, if you have been out of education for a long time, opening up any text book is a daunting experience.  My heart was pounding for at least the first half an hour and I was convincing myself that this was all a horrible mistake, that there was no way I could do this.

The good thing about an Open University course though is that everything is planned out for you.  What to study, how many recommended hours, what you should be doing each week, advice, it’s all there.

I re-read through all the introductory information to calm myself down and then when going back to the text, I realised that it wasn’t as complicated as first thought, the questions weren’t unanswerable and it was simply me working myself up into a lather. 

After going through the notes I had taken and then typing them up (my handwriting isn’t the best) I realised that once I had calmed down and looked at the text again, my thoughts and ideas were following much more freely.

I have started my course two weeks early as I wanted to give myself some breathing space and also allow for a contingency in case of illness etc. 

I wanted to do this post for anyone who hasn’t yet had the “first day nerves” and tell you that yes, you will be nervous, yes you may panic a little a first (if you are like me) but keep calm, BREATH, re-read and take your time.

We are starting on an exciting journey, let’s not forget that.  It is a day to be marked and remembered, the day your life began to change.