When Courage Feels Too Big: Breaking Bravery Down Into Simple Steps

“Bravery is the ability to look fear and hurt in the face and say move aside, you are in the way.” – Melissa Tumino 

I used to think that being brave meant taking a giant leap.  Believing in yourself enough to do something completely out of your comfort zone.  Facing a fear head on.

The truth is that bravery can start with a tiny step.  Sometimes looking at the end goal or the whole picture of what you want to achieve can be intimidating.  Too easy to put off.  I will try another day.  That turns into another week, another year.

When I decided that I wanted to change my life, I had spent years procrastinating.  I had a life in my mind that I wanted to have, things that I wanted to accomplish, but they loomed so large that my fear stopped me from moving forward.

What helped me in the end was breaking down my goal into small steps.  Each step I took, however small, was onward motion.  This helped to carry me forward to the next step.  Then the next.  Suddenly, the goal that I wanted to achieve was over half way to being achieved and I had the success of the steps I had taken behind me to encourage me on and help to negate my fear.

I will tell you about one such goal, which sounds so small now, but was huge at the time.

I had been invited to a press day for a fashion brand in London.  Hundreds of miles away from where I lived.  There would be press there, competition winners, the designer himself.   It involved getting to London, staying over, finding the venue, chatting with people I did not know.  Navigating London.  Getting home.

When I was first invited, all of that seemed impossible to me.  I was terrified.  But I wanted to, so very much.

So I broke it down into tiny pieces.  The ad agency booked my train tickets and hotel stay so I didn’t need to worry about that.  But everything else was planned to the last detail.

How to get to the train station.  How long the train ride would be.  I found a map showing where I would get off.  Then got precise directions of how to get to the tube station I needed.  Times.  Pictures.  Then from the tube station, I printed out walking directions to my hotel.  How long it should take.  Relevant landmarks/shops so I knew I was on the right track.

I found out which other bloggers were going to the event and started chatting with two of them so that I would know at least someone.  I chose four different outfits so I had choice when the inevitable "I can't wear that" moment came.  I figured out all the times of when I need to leave the hotel, how I would get back.

I did not think about the big picture of what I was doing for the whole time.  I focused completely on succeeding with each step with a check box in my mind.  

It was only when I got to Euston and went through the barrier to the train home that I actually allowed myself to breath.  But I had done it.  Accomplished every single step, no matter how small.  I was changed as a result.

I have taken many steps since that day.  Some big. Some small.  But all are progress.  I am so very different to the scared and anxious girl that I was.  This is because of the steps I have taken.

So next time you want to do something but think you cannot, break it down into small pieces.  Next time you are scared to do something, take tiny steps towards it.  Before you know it, that thing that scared you so will have been done and you will no longer be scared.

I try to push myself every day and try to remember the progress that I have made, looking back at all the steps that I took to get to this place.

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine”  Roy T Bennett