My friend has recently started a counselling course. I have always thought that this would be the perfect job for her, as she has been counselling us all for years!
We were talking on Saturday night about the self therapy stuff that I've been doing and writing about, when it suddenly dawned on me. This blog is public. People (occasionally) read it. Alongside my usual rants and ravings have been some really personal posts.
I'd never really thought about putting my life "out there" before until my friend pointed it out. But then, if only strangers read it, what does it really matter? Writing on here has really helped me in my progression. I know myself well enough that if I were to simply keep a diary of my thoughts, I would eventually get rid of it and all the progress would be destroyed along with it.
Here though, it's public. People can read it. When you realise that someone else is going to read what you are saying you take more time over time. With that, you end up thinking far longer about the subject you are talking about. In this case, me.
There is no right and wrong for processes that help you. Whether it is picking the way you want to stop smoking to realising that you are depressed and finding the right help. For me, that help turned out to be joining Twitter and starting a blog.
After telling my friend about the blog, we then proceeded to have an accidental counselling session. I'm not sure how it started, but an hour and half's worth of me talking later, we suddenly looked at each other and wondered how that had just happened. I had just told her more in that time about my "issues" then I have in the past 18 years of knowing her.
After that conversation two things were obvious. She was born to be a counsellor, and I was a giant step nearer to being ok. I am so close to being the person I have always known I was meant to be, I can smell it. Confidence in myself and self acceptance is not hiding around the corner now, it's just through a doorway. All I have to do is open the door and step through.
The right time and place for me turned out to be 3.00am with a pizza. Presumably for more organised people that would be 10.00am with a coffee. But hey ;)