Happy New Year!

I am writing this blog to you sat in my room in a house in Kendal with the same friends that I go on holiday with each New Year.

Times change, the world turns, lives move in different directions but in the end, we all remain the same to each other.  Friends that have stood the test of time.  We are all different in many ways, but the bond we have holds us together and I hope always will.

I am never more myself than I am with these people.  This time together at New Year is like a long slow exhale, my shoulders relax to a point where I realise how tense they were before; I am silly and happy.

We all revert to the same college years mentality, despite never actually all going to school together.  Sharing a meal, arguing about what film we want to watch next, throwing death stars at each other after one too many beers.

Death stars by the way is a game we came up with during our New Year break a couple of years ago.  Freezing the chocolates of the Quality Street box that you don't like and then throwing them at each other.  Like I said, reverting to college years mentality.

These people accept me for who I am.  They do not want to change me nor want me to change.  

Every year we hear so much about New Years resolutions.  They all revolve around changing yourself in some way.  Whether it be stopping smoking or losing weight; changing our character and resolving to be "a better you".  What is a better you exactly?  What is wrong with the way you are now?

There is nothing wrong with making these resolutions but it is important that you are wanting to make these changes for the right reasons.  Are you happy in yourself or it is society or those around you that think that these changes need to be made?

Changes have to be made when you are ready to make them, should they need to be made in the first place.  I plan to stop smoking next year.  This is not a New Year resolution.  It is plan that I intend to implement at a point that I am ready to do so.  

There is nothing like the pressure of feeling like you have to accomplish or start something by a certain date to put you off completely.

How about this for for New Years resolutions that we all need at some point?  Be good to yourself.  Remind yourself to put yourself first more.  Realise that although bad things can happen, you have been through bad times before and you have got through them.  You will get through them again.

Cherish your family and friends.  Bring yourself closer to the people who love you for the way you are, not the ones who wish to change you.  Realise that some relationships cannot be saved and move on.  

I wish you all a very happy New Years Eve and a very happy 2017.

Vicky xx

You Are Not Alone

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time of year.  Time to spend with family, friends and loved ones.  Christmas dinner, presents; sitting in front of the TV watching The Snowman.  

For some, Christmas can be the worst time of year.  But there are things that we can do to help.  Make sure our elderly neighbours are OK, maybe visiting them on Christmas Day for an hour to make their day less alone or even inviting them for Christmas dinner.

Remembering that depression is not miraculously cured at Christmas and that people still need your support, or even just your understanding.

If you need help at Christmas, there are people that you can turn to, even if you just need someone to listen.

MIND

Website www.mind.org.uk

Tel No 0300 123 3393

Samaritans

Website www.samaritans.org

Tel No 116 123

Alcoholics Anonymous

Website www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk 

Tel No 0800 9177650

Stonewall

Website www.stonewall.org.uk

Info line 08000 50 20 20 

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

Tel No 0207 837 7324

SANELine

Website www.sane.org.uk

Tel No 0300 304 7000

Papyrus, Prevention of young suicide

Website www.papyrus-uk.org 

National self-help body for the Transgender community

Beaumont Society

Website http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk

Information Line 01582 412220

Childline

www.childline.org.uk 

0800 1111

Depression Alliance

Website www.depressionalliance.org

Refuge

Website www.refuge.org.uk

Tel No 0808 2000 247

Beat

Beating eating disorders.

Website https://www.b-eat.co.uk 

Help line 0345 634 1414

Youth Line 0345 634 7650

Shelter

Website www.shelter.org.uk

Tel No 0808 800 4444

NHS Direct

1111

No Panic

Website http://www.nopanic.org.uk 

Tel No 0844 967 4848

Youth helpline 01753 840393

Tips for Saving in 2017

We all have many New Year's resolutions that we hope will lead to a better life, but so often those goals fall to the wayside only to pop back up for another failed attempt again and again. 

Things like "Dry January" is the obvious one but let's face it: savingmore money has to be a close second. If you have health and wealth you're in pretty great shape, but the problem is that often too many people try to make huge, sudden, and massive changes and it proves to be just too much. 

So what types of small, easy, and basic tips can help to make sure you actually make your financial goals in 2017 instead of having to make the same resolutions for 2018?

#1: Plan Your Savings Goal

Without a plan, you have no chance. If you don't know how much you want to save in a year, you're not going to make that number. If that's the only number you have, you can't break down what you need as monthly and weekly goals. Choose a reasonable goal, give yourself a little bit of leeway (but not too much - like planning out 48 or 50 weeks instead of the full 52), and set up a spending and savings plan that can help you reach that.

Self discipline is much easier when you have a clear path and plan to follow.

#2: Get Rid Of Temptation

You can't be tempted if the temptation isn't there. One of the best ways to save is to have part of your check sent to an account in another bank, one which you cut up the debit card for or don't set up online banking - meaning it would take a lot of extra effort to go and raid your savings. The harder it is to do, the less likely you are to do it.

#3: Track Expenses For One Month

Two months is a little better, but one month is generally enough. This is tracking, not budgeting (though that is also a good idea). You want to see where every single penny of the money you're spending is going so you can make a realistic accounting of what your actual expenses are.

Use this to trim the fat and make small changes for big savings.  I tried this earlier this year and found to my shock just how much I was spending on my morning coffee.

#4: Set Up A Budget

This is generally best done after tracking expenses for a bit so you're not underestimating expenses or overestimating your resolve. There are plenty of resources for creating and sticking to a budget so take advantage of them!

#5: Take Advantage Of Small Adjustments

Using coupons for the first time, buying stuff during sales, or even making small adjustments like "the cheapest soda" versus "brand X at full price" are all little changes that can make life altering differences when all the savings are added up over the long term.

#6: Use Technology To Your Advantage

This could mean finding great deals online that are better than what you can get in person. This could also mean activating rewards programs for a credit card (although not using one at all is better if you can manage that) or there are even high quality saving apps that can be set up to make saving money relatively painless and much easier than using good old fashioned resolve, there are also a lot of money saving apps, aswell as finding freebie and free sample sites.

#7: Reward Your Momentum

You know what makes willpower much easier? The occasional reward. If you track your momentum so you can actually see yourself gaining on your goals then you are going to be encouraged and keep going with that. Don't completely starve yourself of fun. There's no reason for it, and that is often counter productive. Check on your progress every so often, make corrections or increases as you see fit and give yourself some small little celebration for making a goal.

Whether that is an ice cream during summer, one meal at your favourite bar, or something else entirely, you have plenty of options.

Follow these 7 tips and you will be far more likely to reach your savings goals!

*Collaboration Post

The Benefits of E-Cigarettes When Quitting Smoking

One of the least things I am proud of this year is that I am still smoking.  This is especially irritating considering that only a short time ago, I quit for two years.

When I quit smoking the last time I stopped completely.  Right away, cold turkey.  Although this was very, very hard, I managed it.  This time though I think I am going to need some assistance. My life now is very different to when I quit before and I cannot rely on will power alone. 

According to a major report that was done by the Royal College of Physicians, E-cigarettes can be beneficial to those and should who smoke should be encouraged to use them in lieu of regular cigarettes.

The report, all 200 pages of it, has sifted through all of the various devices and made an effort to clarify the conflicting advice on their usage. The conclusion is that in spite of the myriad of concerns regarding e-cigarettes, they don't work as a "gateway" to smoking for those who aren't smokers and those who are using them had already had a long established habit of being a smoker.

It goes on to further suggest that those who smoke may fail if they don't wean themselves off of tobacco products by trying something like an e-cigarette. It may help them in the long run, to successfully cease smoking. In this fashion, the e-cigarettes work as a gateway to help them quit.

According to the report, the conclusion is that an electroniccigarette are quite likely to be more beneficial in helping the public stay healthy and helping a smoker to stop smoking. They are by and far much safer than regular cigarettes.

According to John Britton, Professor of Royal College Of Physicians Tobacco Advisory "Group, the growing trend of e-cigarettes works well as a substitute for tobacco smoking and has long been a controversial topic with a lot of speculation regarding the risks and the benefits of e-cigarettes.

The report goes on to lay to rest nearly all of the concerns over e-cigarettes in comparison to regular cigarettes. It is believed that e-cigarettes have a great potential to give a major contribution toward preventing premature death and disease due to smoking. Smokers should understand that the use of an e-cigarette in lieu of regular tobacco products may go far in helping them to stop smoking forever.

According to Jane Dacre, Professor, The report builds on the current and existing work and has concluded that the risks involved are far less for e-cigarettes than for regular tobacco cigarettes. This could, in turn, hasten the potential for a tobacco free society. By using careful management and proportions, those who do smoke can greatly reduce the amount they smoke when they select e-cigarettes over regular cigarettes.

It's estimated that 2.1 Britons currently choose e-cigarettes over regular cigarettes. This figure is on the rise and since 2007 when the e-cigarette was introduced they have been successfully marketed as a method to help smokers wean themselves off of their nicotine addictions. The e-cigarette delivers a lower dose of nicotine and helps to reduce the cravings of a cigarette. By moving to lesser amounts of nicotine the person is weaning themselves off of harmful cigarettes.

Thus, cigarette use is in a slow decline for the UK. At present 18.7 percent of all UK adults are smokers and the rates are continuing to drop.

*In  collaboration with Simply Liquid

Where the Heart Is

Memories.  They are the most precious thing that we have.

One way that we remember our memories is through photographs.  Now that we are in the digital age, photographs can be taken by their hundreds, edited to enhance the clarity and be uploaded to the world. 

When I was growing up, photographs were taken with film.  Something about having something physical to hold and put in a photo frame means so much more than looking at a photograph on a screen.

One of the best Christmas presents I ever received was a photograph album of me, my dad and my mum from the first seven years of my life, before we lost my dad.  It is precious to me beyond words.  

I thought that I would share some of those photographs here today.

Whilst I have shared some of best kept photographs I have here, unfortunately, these photographs taken decades ago can degrade and fade; as have many in my photo album of memories.  With this in mind, one of my ideas for a Christmas present for my mum (who isn't too internet savvy as and such, only sees the posts I show her) is to restore and blow up some of my photographs.  I want both a restored original and also a digital copy so that these photographs will last a lifetime.    

I decided to contact and hire local professionals in order to make my idea a reality and I decided to use the internet to find the best professional in my area and received several quotes back within a few days.  

I cannot wait to get my photos back and give my mum a surprise that I know that she will love.  On a side note, just how beautiful is my mum!!

2016 - What the Hell Happened?

In years to come, when they look back at 2016, people will ask “What the hell happened”.

It has been the year that the celebrities died en masse.  David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Leonard Cohen, Gene Wilder, Prince, Muhammed Ali, Terry Wogan to name but a few.  Some of the brightest and well loved lights of the music and film industry who will be missed by so many.

The year that the UK shocked everyone, including themselves, and voted to leave the EU by a tiny margin of just 4% of the vote.  The year that saw hate crimes rise by 300% after the referendum.  A year where half a nation believed lies and one racist, sexist, bigoted man over facts and common sense.

The year that America went mad and voted Donald Trump to be their president.  A man who has the attention span of a two year old and is so easily irked that he tweets insults at three in the morning.  As I am writing this, he has just been made “Person of the Year” by Time Magazine.

It is interesting to note that that same accolade was also given to Hitler in 1938.

The year where woman in the UK campaigned to remove tax from tampons, only to be told that the money would be reallocated so that they could pay for their own domestic violence support.  The year where a woman is being sued by her own embryos.  

The year where some states in the US are forcing women to bury or cremate the remains of an abortion or miscarriage.  A year where just yesterday, Ohio put the abortion limit down to six weeks; when most women do not even know that they are pregnant.

The year where millions of refugees have been forced to leave their homes relocate across the Middle East and Europe.  A year where the far right (and the Daily Fail) have got such a hold in some people's minds that they were wanting to check the teeth of migrant children for their ages.  A year where people like Katie Hopkins said "Rescue boats? I'd use gunships to stop migrants".

The year where mass shootings at schools and colleges seemed to happen every other week.  Yet the shooters were not called terrorists, but simply misunderstood and troubled.

The year when a certain footballer's retrial was successful for him, purely based on other men's testimony who were not there on the night, but merely testified that the girl in question liked sex.  

A well loved and brilliant MP, killed by a terrorist of the far right.

I could go on, but you get the picture.  You know.  You have lived it, as we all have.

Looking back, I cannot see much good in 2016, but there has been.  A little.

The campaign on GoFundMe for the rape victim mentioned above that raised over £26,000 to be shared between Rape Crisis and the victim herself.  The rise of the Black Lives Matter movement that is successfully highlighting the prejudice faced by black people by the police and society in general. 

The safety pin movement, started after the UK referendum and continued after the Trump win.  More people standing up and objecting, speaking out against what is wrong rather than watching from the sidelines.

The 2016 Paralympics, where Paralympians for the first time achieved more medals than the able bodied Olympians.  When the world, finally, started to realise that disability is not something that has to be hidden and felt sorry for.

We are better than the year we have just experienced.  We can behave better, we can learn, we can change, we can stand up for what we believe in.  I still believe in people.  We have to stand up to hate.  We have to stand up for the people that need our help.  We have to show compassion.  

To quote Winston Churchill:

"Never, never, never give up."