What Has Happened To Us?

I am a British woman.  I am proud, very proud to be British.  

Not for who is currently in Government from one year to the next.  At this point, they are mostly the same.  Labour is no longer a party for the working class and there is no real alternative to what they used to be.  They believe in self ID which would be disastrous for women.  The Greens think that women are "non-men" (given the subject matter of this blog post, it amused me that I found myself Googling an "acceptable" news source for this link, more later).  The Liberal Democrats, do they even really exist anymore after their Judas move on tuition fees?

I am proud to be British because of the people.  Our determination.  Our self deprecation.  Our sarcasm.  The way in which we act when everything around us is a mess, but we can still come together as a nation when it counts.  The Blitz spirit that still lives in all of us.  It is part of our make up.  Who we are.

I remember when we hosted the Olympics.  Days before there had been riots in the streets.  Yet the next day, a clean up was organised on Twitter and people turned up with their brooms.  That is us.

Then watching the Olympics, the pride we felt as a nation.  The way we got behind and cheered our own.  Lets not forget.  We came third in the world that year.  This tiny island.  With so much heart.

That is what being British is to me.  Our heart and our spirit.   Our backbone.  I refuse to apologise for it.

So I have a question.  What is happening to us?  

I have said this before, but when did we as a country agree that the left were right and the right were wrong?  That there was no in-between.  No centre.  That only an ultra left leaning perspective (far past the realms of what you previously call left wing) could be listened to and anything other was Nazism.  Evil.  Not to be listened to. Deplatformed.

Because that is what is happening.  Even businesses cannot escape it.  The speed in which they immediately backtrack and change their policies is frankly shocking.  

I remember a lady known on Twitter as flashmaggie who dared to say "Death doesn't misgender. You die as you were born".  (You can read about her experience here). That is a fact last time I checked.  Nothing controversial there.  Is is biology, pure and simple.

Yet drinks company Innocent, after one tweet from someone with the massive total of 45 followers who complained to Innocent that they were following a "clear transphobe"; took it upon themselves to issue an apology for following her, and promptly unfollowed her account.

I would add that Sussex police also investigated her for a hate crime for that tweet.  Thankfully she did not fall to the current wave of "non crime hate incidents" that have been recorded on no less than 120,000 times. 2000 of those have been children under 16 (I make no apology for the Daily Mail link, when did that become a social crime?).

This week was the launch of GB News.  The reaction to this has made me simultaneously laugh, eye roll but also; frankly despair.

Again we see companies who originally signed up for advertising on the site, quickly issuing apologies for daring to do so.  Now it seems that a single tweet can change the minds of major companies.  

We see people in faux horror, dropping their knitting (sorry to knitters for that quip) and screaming in some sort of self righteous disgust that a news channel dares to have voices and opinions that might not be automatically ultra left.  Not bowing down to the current "words are violence", I am "triggered" culture that seems to be becoming more and more prevalent.

Lets look at some of the recent headlines from them.  Child marriage is child abuse.  The pandemic has blown up the public finances.  No jab, no job?  Shocking I know.  I think I need therapy just from reading them.  I jest.

But honestly.  Is this what we have become?  Given the current state of some of the press and what is reported/misreported, I would have thought another news site with a more open way of reporting would be welcomed.

Look at all the things that are kept from us.  The fact that people have been rioting in Paris, until recently, every weekend for the past two years.  Look at the many BLM riots that have either been ignored or misreported.  Do you remember the reporter saying on live telephone that the ongoing riot behind him was in fact a peaceful protest, despite the massive fire on the background.

Now, look at this image.  I bet you think that it was from the so called "insurrection" at the White House in January.  But no, it wasn't.  This was BLM/Antifa the year before.  The press called it a demonstration.  That looks like people setting things on fire and rioting to me.  

I still hold hope that the majority of the UK has better sense than those who faint on social media at voices and opinions that differ from their own.

We are British FFS.  It is time that we remembered that.  We have backbone.  We have opinions and thoughts.  Stand up.  Remember who and what we are.

Simple Methods For Getting Out In Nature More

 

Pexels - CC0 License

Most of us are relatively tired of feeling cooped up in our homes, despite how important that has been over the last year. Of course, even if we have been, most of us have had the chance to try and get out in nature, to walk in parks, and to exercise outside to try and offset some of the societal closures we’ve all had to encounter.

That said, when the world slowly returns back to normal (or at least, as normal as it can be), it’s not hard to let the overwhelming business of our lives to take centre stage once more and make us feel a little out of sorts. For this reason, it can be a good idea to focus on getting back out in nature and maintaining more of a consistent habit in doing so.

Of course, not all of us can take an hour out of our day every single day to walk in the park, so what options do we have? Well, in this list, we have three tidbits of advice that might help. Let’s get started:

Consider A Little Carefree Fun

A little carefree fun can’t hurt, especially when than involves enjoying the outdoor space with your friends. Going on a simple bike ride to welcome a weekend morning can be a great idea, particularly if it takes you through a few scenic routes. You might even decide to engage in a fun and passive activity, like flying a kite during a sunny and social day, or sourcing a Sky Rover Knightvision at Alpha Toys and flying it around in a meditative state. Carefree fun is the best fun, and little implements like this can make your day.

Invite Your Friends Or Dates Here

Inviting your friends or even a date to your local natural reserve can be a great idea, even if that’s simply to walk lazily through the paths and talk about life and topics you want to get through. It can be tremendously freeing and a routinely bonding experience to have this private time with someone, especially when the natural backdrop is otherwise so awe-inspiring to look at. 

Spend Some Time In Creativity

There’s perhaps no better way to bust stress than to enjoy a little creativity from time to time, and that goes double in a gorgeous natural environment. Setting up your easel and paints near a local river and painting the fishermen as they try for catches in the lake over the course of an afternoon can be tremendously fulfilling to your spirit, even if you’re not experienced at painting in the least! You may decide to walk to the park to journal every other Sunday morning, or perhaps simply getting involved in a local gardening initiative can help you get out of the house and ensure you have a chance to get your hands dirty. The possibilities are endless.

With this advice, we hope you can get out in nature more and adore doing so.

Time For a Staycation

Last year my mum was due to have a milestone birthday (80 but don't tell her I told you!).

As she is a lover of all things theatre related, I decided to find accommodation through hotels.com for a room in Manchester together with tickets to see Sister Act at the Palace Theatre.  Sadly, due to the pandemic, the show was cancelled and as such, our plans.

In current climes, it is important that when you make any plans, you bear in mind current Government guidelines so that you can prepare and organise accordingly.  This was especially important when starting to arrange her birthday this year.

Looking at the Government road map going forward, restaurants are due to open with the ability to eat indoors from the 12th May, with hotels opening from the 3rd July 2021.  We are due to be out of lockdown by the 21st June and with any luck, everyone able will be vaccinated by the 31st July 2020.

Bearing in mind the above, I decided to book a staycation for my mum and I for September; with as much luxury as I can think of, whilst being mindful of the rules and what is safe to do for ourselves, and all.  

Rather than taking public transport to Manchester for our staycation, I have organised a car to transport us to and from our location.  This both adds a little luxury touch, whilst reducing our contact with others where possible.

With restaurants eager for diners to return to their establishments, we already know that proper distancing between tables will be in place and enhanced hygiene practices will be well established.  I plan to choose a few different restaurants for both lunch and dinner options for our two day trip.

With the theatre option not being available, I am looking at visiting the Manchester Museum to see the fantastic T-Rex, as well as a not to be missed visit to Chinatown.  We may decide to also utilise one of the free walking tours around Manchester which allows you to see many of the old and new architecture around the city.  Although at 81 by then, I suspect that the walk will be more of a stroll!  Again, don't tell her I said that!

For our accommodation, I have chosen to book an aparthotel which offers us both privacy and an added safety aspect rather than mingling with other guests; whilst maintaining a high quality of accommodation and a high level of cleanliness.

All of our bookings and planned trips will of course be subject to Government guidelines as well as any travel restrictions in place.  By then, both my mum and I should have had the vaccine so will also be in line with any Covid checks that are in place for any of activities and bookings.

Now is time the time to start planning your next staycation; where will you be going to for yours?

Images from Unsplash

In collaboration with Hotels.com, but all views are my own

Simple Ways To Stay Looking Youthful In Spring

 

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Spring is finally here and it’s time for us to get back out in the world as the pandemic comes to an end. Spring is a time for a fresh start, and many of us want to go out with our best foot forward and look our best. 

Today we want to share some of the simple beauty tips you can use to help you feel more youthful and fresh in the spring and into summer. There are so many simple ways you can look and feel great at home and we want to share them. 

Wear colors that suit you 

The first thing you can consider doing to help you feel your best this spring is wear colors that work for you. We all have a different skin tone and certain colors will suit us and others might wash us out. Try to figure out if your skin is cool or warm toned by looking at your veins - if they are blue then you have cool toned skin and if they are green you have warm toned skin. Once you know this you can look at the different colours that suit each tone. For example, cool skin often suits jewel tones such as deep red, blue and green - whereas warm toned skin looks great with yellows, browns and pastels. Dress to suit your skin and you will look more youthful right away. 

Moisturise your neck 

If you have been considering a neck lift or you simply want to prevent wrinkles in this area you need to start moisturising your neck properly each day. It is so important that you moisturise your neck at least once a day when you moisturise your face. When applying moisturiser to your neck make sure to go in upward and outward motions to ensure that it is able to penetrate the skin and keep it looking smooth. 

Hydrate your eyelashes 

Eyelashes can be a great feature of your face if you maintain them - and there are some simple ways to make them look both thicker and longer. One way to do this is to use argan oil and apply this to your eyelashes after a shower - and take the time to massage the oil into your eyelashes and the follicles of your eyelids and it will promote hair growth and help them stay both longer and thicker. 

Cleanse with a face mask 

If you want to help your skin look and feel more youthful every day it is important for you to cleanse it with a face mask once a week. A face mask is a deep cleanser that will draw out all of the dirt and grime under your skin, leaving it feeling tight and clean. If you apply a clay or charcoal mask once a week you will soon notice a glow to your skin and it will feel much younger and healthier. 

Rid your skin of acne 

Acne is something no one ever wants as an adult - and it’s easy to see why. Acne can be uncomfortable as well as unsightly and it’s never nice to have it when you are an adult trying to make your way in the world. To get rid of and prevent acne - you can cut a lemon in half and squeeze some honey onto it before rubbing this in circular motions around your face. Leave it for 20 minutes and then rinse it off. Lemon will help to dry out the acne, and honey has antibacterial properties that will kill the infection. This simple natural remedy will leave your skin feeling youthful and glowing. 

Moisturise with oil 

If you are looking for a simple way to make your skin look more youthful and plump this year, consider moisturising your skin with oil. Vitamin E oil is a great choice and this is highly hydrating for the skin and will provide the essential nutrients your skin needs to keep it plump. You can use vitamin e oil all over your body after a shower and it will soak right into the skin. 

Keep your hair silky and soft 

Your hair is a huge feature and if you want to look youthful and happy during the spring, your hair could do with some TLC. A simple way to get your hair looking silky and soft during the spring is to apply a conditioner and leave it in your hair for an hour before rinsing it out and washing. If you do this once a week or so you can keep your hair soft and supple for years to come.

Is It Time To Abolish Hate Crime Law?

*This piece was written before the advertised tabling of The House of Lords debating an amendment to hate crime law, adding misogyny.  Comments added at the end of the post in this regard.

Apologies for the sheer length of this post, but it turns out, I had a lot to say.

Image Credit

Firstly, lets deal with the facts.  What is classed as a hate crime and what is a hate incident?  

According to the Met Police, a hate crime is:

'Any criminal offence which is perceived by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by hostility or prejudice based on a person's race or perceived race; religion or perceived religion; sexual orientation or perceived sexual orientation; disability or perceived disability and any crime motivated by hostility or prejudice against a person who is transgender or perceived to be transgender.'

According to the Gov.uk website, the number of hate crimes since 2011 were reported as below:

2011 -2012                43748 

2013 - 2014              44480

2015 - 2016              52528

2016 - 2017              94098

2017 - 2018             103,379

2019 - 2020             105,090

As can be seen from the figures, following the Government's introduction of "Action Against Hate" in July 2016, the hate crime figures have doubled.

A hate incident is: 

'Any incident which the victim, or anyone else, thinks is based on someone’s prejudice towards them because of their race, religion, sexual orientation, disability or because they are transgender.'

Evidence of the hate element is not a requirement. You do not need to personally perceive the incident to be hate related. It would be enough if another person, a witness or even a police officer thought that the incident was hate related.

Non-crime hate incident reports were introduced in 2014 after recommendations were made by the independent Macpherson inquiry into the murder of Stephen Lawrence.

The College of Policing’s definition of a hate incident is “any non-crime incident which is perceived, by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by a hostility or prejudice” towards a person because of their characteristics.

Police guidelines have also been updated so that they apply to schoolchildren and state that hate incidents can include “ill-will, spite, contempt, prejudice, unfriendliness, antagonism, resentment and dislike”.

School children, can be prosecuted, for a hate incident.   A simple falling out in a playground can now lead to prosecution. 

In the past five years, 120,000 non crime hate incidents have been recorded by the police.  Yes, that is a non crime hate incident.  

As we know from the case of Harry Miller, a hate incident can be reported to the police and investigated for as little as someone being merely told about a retweet, not even related to or about them, but that might cause them offence.

What we also know is that the person reporting the hate incident is automatically called "the victim" in the report, and following a consultation by the CPS started in 2016, worryingly, in order to treat a crime as a hate crime for the purposes of investigation, there is no need for evidence to prove the aggravating element.

These non crime hate incidents can be recorded against you, without you ever been informed of the fact.  Barrister Sarah Phillimore recently discovered, after a Twitter user boasted that the police had a record for life for hate crime against her, that the police held twelve pages of tweets that had been recorded by the police as non crime hate incidents.  These records stay on your DBS checks for six years.

As an experiment, she posted a tweet joking that her cat was a Methodist and asked a friend to report her for a hate incident.  After all, what is one more report when you have twelve pages of "incidents" against you?

When reporting the tweet, her friend was asked why he thought her tweet was hateful, to which he replied that she meant to imply that Methodists were "wandering pests were that defecate in people's gardens".  South Yorkshire Police dutifully recorded the incident.

In the title of this post I asked whether it was time to abolish hate crime law?  The answer, for me, has to be yes.

Whilst inciting violence against other or a protected group is wholly wrong and should be dealt with as a crime, the definitions of a hate crime have been stretched and broadened to the extent that anyone saying the most innocent thing, or, a biological fact; can be investigated.

Think of Paul Lancaster for his airport tweet.  Think of Mark Meechan aka Count Dankula for recording his pug doing a "Nazi salute".   Think of Harry Miller.  Think of 120,000 people who have non crime hate incidents recorded against them, for no crime committed.

You might disagree with what these people have said or done.  But free speech cannot exist only when you agree with it.

I read many things on the internet every single day.  I see abuse, harassment and threats made against people like me for example who believe that biology is a fact and that sex should remain a protected class.  Unlike with Scotland's newly amended hate crime law which omits to include sex as a protected characteristic.

I have removed the identity of the poster in the image below, but all details are documents in the link above.

Can you imagine if that tweet had been made about one of the protected characteristics just as religion, sexual orientation, race or transgender identity?  The police would be at your door.

Hate crime law needs to be abolished because it is no longer fit for purpose and is being actively used as a weapon against people. 

Hurt feelings should not be a crime.  A disliked comment should not be a crime.  Someone being rude or who offends you might be a cruel person, but cruelty is not a crime.  Someone stating biological fact is not a crime.  A childish insult in a playground should not be a crime.

All that current hate crime/hate incident law is creating is a generation that cannot cope with life.  A world where words are actual violence.  A world where a slight against you becomes a crime.

How far can this go?  Well look at this article from July 2020 (see image at top of post).  A hate crime investigated, because of a car tyre track on a road.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in that world.  And neither should you.

**ADDED to cover The House of Lords proposed debate to add misogyny to hate crime

From what I understand from the proposals, the policy will not criminalise anything that was previously legal i.e. a sexual assault against a woman is still a sexual assault, but would additionally be recorded as a hate crime.  

My comments as above still stand in that anyone advocating violence against other should be a crime.  Adding a hate crime factor to something that is already illegal I do not have any issues with.  But, in all honesty, I do not think that it will help women.  At all.

Adding a hate crime element to an already existing crime does not help women.  It will not make those men who would wish to commit a crime against a woman think against because he may also have a hate crime against his name.

Reporting will still be split into hate crimes and hate incidents.  An article which reported on a study done on a trialling of misogyny becoming a hate crime in Nottinghamshire noted that 174 reports were made by women between April 2016 and March 2018.  73 were classified as a crime and 101 as a hate incident.  

The report noted after concerns about the policy being trivialised in the media, that things wolf whistling would not be a hate crime.  As this is not illegal.  It could however be recorded as a hate incident.

Here is where I will probably receive, ironically, hate from some circles.  

Wolf whistling is not a hate incident.  A builder catcalling you from a scaffold is not a hate incident.  It is, as a woman I know, irritating at best and can be intimidating.  But I do not think that the answer to this is recording these incidents as a hate incident.

I do not know the answer for improving women's safety.  But I do not think that "hate incidents" being recorded will help.  Recording a non crime hate incident on someone's record, on their DBS check, will not help.

I think that it will increase misogyny.  I think it will put a greater divide between men and women.  And that is the last thing we want.

Do You Have Rosacea?

 From the Hollywood A-listers to the regular girls and guys on the street, a common skin condition called rosacea is prevalent. It can affect people from all ages, but mostly it's those in the 30-50s bracket that deal with it. Rosacea is categorized by a redness in the skin, and while it affects more women it's worse when it occurs in men. Rosacea looks like bright red or purple skin on the face and flushing easily. Sometimes, it occurs due to temperature changes, but for some people it comes on as a result of food triggers.

Rosacea can knock your confidence as you can't hide it, and for some people it can be more severe, causing conditions like blepharitis which affects the eyes. Rosacea isn't all about the color changes, either, as the skin can become exceptionally sore and uncomfortable when it's reddened this way. When you are dealing with a skin condition, you need to consider the fact that you're going to need to test out an array of different make-up for sensitive skin to know what will work while your skin is reacting. It can help to learn what the triggers are for your skin flushing, too, as once you learn the triggers you can ensure that you are avoiding the flushing as much as possible. The question is knowing whether you have rosacea in the first place.

Image source: Pexels

To be able to understand whether you are dealing with rosacea, you should consider that it starts with flushing. The rash on the face and neck can appear and you may find that it happens frequently in response to stress, certain foods and even sunshine! If you notice some of the flushing, you're going to need to know how to treat it. The good news is that there are long-term treatments that you can use to help you to clear up the rash on your face. They are very effective and these treatments are usually topical and in cream format. They are applied to the skin and can cool you down and reduce the redness and swelling.

For some people with more severe rosacea, antibiotics can be used to stop the redness from occurring. The good news is that you can also treat rosacea from home without using too much intervention from the doctor if you want to avoid it. Some of the tips you need to treat rosacea at home include:

• There are cleansers that you can use that have redness-reducing properties to ensure that you are keeping your skin hydrated while you are reducing the redness on the surface. These are gentle and can be used everyday.

• Avoid any perfumed and alcohol-focused soaps and products that are for the face. These can cause a flare even when you don't mean for it to happen.

• Blot your face dry, never rub it! If you have a wet face after cleansing, you need to consider blotting with a soft towel as rubbing it could cause some damage to the surface of the skin, which is what you want to avoid.

• Always use a good SPF on your face. If sunshine and warmth can trigger rosacea, then you need to make sure that your skin is as protected as possible.

• Red onions, tomatoes, spicy foods and caffeine can all trigger facial flushing and rosacea. Avoiding these triggers is key to you feeling good!

5 Strategies for Boosting Your Self Image

Photo by Peng Louis from Pexels

Though technology has made it possible to stay connected in ways never seen before, it’s also resulted in an overload of information and provided a platform for people to make negative comments without consequences. 

This has caused many people to worry more than ever before what other people think, resulting in feelings of insecurity and low-confidence. If you’re struggling with negative self-image, here are five strategies for boosting it. 

1) Curate the content you consume online

While social media has its benefits, it also comes with disadvantages. Social media can make you feel inadequate, causing you to compare your home, friends, and body with others online. While it might seem like this negative aspect is something you just have to deal with, you can take control of what you’re exposed to.

Look for accounts to follow that align with your own values and present bodies of all different shapes and sizes, and unfollow accounts that have the potential to damage your self-esteem. Being exposed to positive content will change your mindset over time and boost your self-image. 

2) Find your personal style 

If you grew up without a lot of money or were told that caring about your appearance too much meant you were vain, you may have trouble justifying spending money on clothing. 

Purchasing clothes that fit your personal style and make you feel good isn’t vain; it’s an outward expression of your identity. By outwardly reflecting how you feel on the inside, your confidence will increase. 

Though you may have been led to believe otherwise, there aren’t any hard and fast plus-size fashion rules. Where the pieces you want without worrying about what other people will think. 

3) Move your body for pleasure

Oftentimes, exercise is associated with weight loss and the pursuit of some ‘ideal’ body. There is no ideal body, and exercise should first and foremost be all about feeling strong, healthy, and happy. 

Change your mindset and engage in movement that positively impacts your mental health. Whether you enjoy walking, practicing yoga, or dancing, integrating movement into your life will foster a connection between your mind and body. This connection with your body will allow you to appreciate it for more than just how it looks, but also what it does. 

4) Embrace what you have

With cosmetic procedures like lip filler, microbladed eyebrows, and eyelash extensions becoming more and more popular, it can be hard to love our natural features. Instead of constantly trying to keep up with the latest trends, focus on amplifying your unique features.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear makeup, but rather you should curate your makeup to your face. Rather than trying to cover up your acne scars with a thick foundation, invest in hyperpigmentation treatment to love the skin you’re in. 

5) Do things for the people you love

Many worry that they’re too selfish and find themselves getting caught up in their own worries. Research shows that by helping others, you’ll actually feel better about yourself. 

While it might feel like you barely have enough time to complete the demands in your own life, by setting time aside to do things for your friends and family, you’ll feel less stressed and experience a sense of belonging. Even just picking up a coffee for your coworker on the way into the office or giving a friend a ride home will improve your own sense of self worth.  

 

Ten Great Reasons to Remodel

Are you bored with your house?

We all get a little bored of the house sometimes, and while some people like to sell up and move on, others like to get on and make some changes. When you have a shell of a house, you can do whatever you like to improve the inside of the home and change everything to suit your tastes. If there is one thing that's true, it's that our tastes change over time and we don't always buy a new property every single time.

There are plenty of reasons to do something new and change up your home, and we've got the ten top reasons for remodelling your home this year!

Image source: Pexels

1. Selling Up.

You got THAT bored of the house, then? Sometimes, adding and removing features of the home will work to sell the house faster than if you had left it alone. Remodelling the house is an investment, and yes it means you're investing in your house only for someone else to benefit from it. The outside appearance of your home is going to raise the value and enhance its curb appeal. People will want to buy a house with fresh paint and new shutters, so add that lick of paint and make it worthy of a great sale.

2. You Need To Move On.

When the kids grow up and you want to move into retirement, your home needs some adjustments to match your new time of life. You might consider remodelling the bathrooms to have handles and railings installed, and you could get the bath ripped out and replace it with a standing shower and a seat to relax on while you're washing. You could even have a new ramp installed. Some people choose that now is the time for an extension to have an added bedroom at the side of the house instead of using the upper floor.

3. You're Spending Too Much.

If you're trying to cut down your costs at home, renovation may seem like a ridiculous idea. After all, you're trying to save money not spend more of it! Spending far too much money trying to heat the home is a pain, but with a swap to custom windows, you can ensure that you go a little greener and stop spending so much money on your house. Energy-efficient windows are always a better idea and you can save a ton of money for your bills.

4. Built-In Appliances.

Look at your current kitchen: have you ever considered ripping out the whole thing? If you need a reason to remodel, a kitchen update can be exactly what you need. Ripping out your old appliances and replacing them with built-in options such as a dishwasher, new stove and even a new refrigerator built into cupboards can change the way your kitchen looks completely.

5. It's All Going Wrong.

The plumbing is old. The wiring is faulty. There's mould in the walls. Any of these reasons is a great reason to make some changes. Sure, things may function absolutely fine, but you need to worry about overloading the generator and pipes cracking in the cold. When things are going wrong in the house, it's absolutely the right time to renovate and make some changes. It's time to make it right and you have to consider these issues before you choose NOT to renovate!

Image Source: Pexels

6. Future-Proof.

The kids aren't going to be moving out any time soon, so waiting for a rainy day to get your house looking exactly the way that you plan it to look is a waste of time. You should be excited to look at your home now and remodel it for the future. Yes, the kids are going to grow up at some point, so that games room you dream of having? Why not enjoy it with them now and renovate the house the way that you choose? A lot can change in ten years, so make your home the way you want it to be now.

7. You're Ashamed.

When was the last time that you were able to afford a remodel? You don't need to waste your life apologizing for the way that the house looks. Instead, you should consider telling people you're proud of your home and it's up to you to make that happen. If you're embarrassed about your kitchen, you should take a moment and make your kitchen look the way that you want it to look!

8. Things Feel Stale.

Boredom strikes once again, right? Your home should feel stable and secure, and when the house feels stale, you need a fresh clean sheet! Paint the walls and the baseboards, replace the flooring, feel happy with the new look you give your home and do it to the budget that suits you. If your house is feeling boring, then it's the best time to make a change.

9. Finally Using The Basement.

Do you use your basement? If yours is empty right now, make the changes you want to make and make it feel like a space you are actually going to use. You deserve to spend money on your whole living space, and you deserve to have a whole house you can use, too! Your home could be absolutely perfect, but if you're missing out on using some of the rooms, you're going to feel like something is missing. Now is as good a time as ever to remodel, especially if it means that you can use every single area of the house at long last!

10. You Won't Need To Buy.

If you spend some money renovating your house, you're going to save yourself the cost and time of buying a new one, moving out of the area and searching for a brand new house. You can spend time going room to room rather than area to area and looking for the perfect house.

Renovations could be the solution that you didn't know that you needed for your home to feel fresh again. Take your time to remodel and you're going to come out with a house that really works for you and your family.

QuietOn Sleep Earbuds - A Review

Unsplash image

 The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

It can be said that silence is the rarest commodity.   It is a luxury that many cannot afford and most would trade almost anything to gain.

In the modern world, how often are you really left in silence, with your own thoughts?  Given the ability to read a book in peace, work without distraction; sleep without disturbance or even just sit in your own bubble, stepping away from the world and having a moment to yourself.

Silence is something that at some points during my day, I would give anything for.  The commute to work when I am readying myself for the day ahead and would give anything to mute the screaming child sat two rows down.  When I am working from home needing to concentrate, but can hear the sounds of the household, banging and crashing in the rooms around me.  When I want to sleep and the neighbours decide to play music at midnight on a Tuesday.

When I was looking for some earbuds to quieten my world when I chose, I wanted something that was portable, easy to use but also, I did not want complete silence.  If I use earbuds to enable a quiet and restful sleep for example, I also need to hear my alarm clock in the morning.  

I decided to try out the QuietOn sleep earbuds which are described as the world's smallest active noise cancelling earbuds.  

Rather than bulky headphones which are not easily transportable and do not fit into your handbag, no matter what the size (does anyone else find that the bigger the handbag, the more things you find to put in it?); the box is small and carries everything you need.

Along with the earbuds which come in their own charging case, there is a small charging cable which slots easily into your laptop for charging and three different sizes of buds so as to get the perfect fit in your ear.

Once charged, the earbuds last around twenty hours but with the compact packaging with everything inside, you do not have to play the game of "where did I put the charging cable" which I seem to do with every other chargeable item I own.

I have tested them in a variety of situations and honestly, for me they perfectly do the job that I wanted them to.

When I work from home, the sounds of the household are dimmed to a point where they become unobtrusive and I can concentrate on the task at hand.  In my commute, I can put them in, close my eyes and feel a bubble of calm around me.  When I want to sleep, outside noise and those pesky neighbours are muted and my sleep is uninterrupted.

The silence is not total, I would say that depending on the situation, sounds are muted to around 80%, but that is also welcome.   As I said earlier, uninterrupted sleep is perfect, but also, as much as I wish I did not need to hear it, that blaring alarm clock noise to wake me for work is essential; no matter how much I want to throw it against the wall.

Right now they are at a discounted price of £154 and honestly, I feel like I have got my money's worth.

I have been using them for a week now and they have made an active positive difference in my life.  Being able to turn down the volume of the world has given me calm when I needed it, peace where I craved it and a good night's sleep which is something that we all need more of.

I would not hesitate to recommend them.

The Battle of the Breasts

 This post was inspired by the Twitter account: Wild Woman Writing Club

Maybe it’s time for women to start telling stories about how we came to make friends with our female bodies, despite everything nature and society throw at us, to show girls that there is hope?

— Wild Woman Writing Club (@wwwritingclub) December 7, 2020

 I saw this tweet today and made my think about the tumultuous relationship I have had with my female body over the years.  I don't hate my body.  Now.  But I have wished that everything about it could be different.  I have cursed it.  I have hurt it.  I have never loved it.  But now, I feel that my body and I have finally become friends.

I don't think that I even thought for a second about my body, the size of it, the shape of it, or even what I looked like until I started primary school.  Before that I had been safe in the cocoon of my immediate family and the elderly neighbours that lived on our street. I knew, because I was told, that I looked like my mother; but other than that I did not have a care in the world in that respect.

Primary school taught me that I was "pudgy", the teacher called it.  My  mum told me that it was just baby fat (which it was) and to ignore the teasing and being picked on that had started after my teacher pointed my difference out.  (Thanks Mrs Ogden, two thumbs up).

A boy in another class was "pudgy" too.  He was not teased or picked on.  It wasn't the same apparently. That was the first time I learned that girls were held to a different standard than boys.  Even when they are five.

The baby fat disappeared but at around ten, my body threw me a curve I wasn't expecting.  Not yet.  Not so soon.  I wasn't ready.  I am not sure how you can be readied for it.

My body shape started to change and I started to grow breasts.  My child's clothing was now at odds with the shapes and curves that were appearing. 

Overnight it seemed grown men looked at me in a way that I was not used to and did not understand, other than to know it felt wrong.  I couldn't go on my own to the local park anymore because a group of older boys had noticed my blossoming breasts and cornered me on the roundabout; pointing my early development and asking if they could "cop a feel".  

I felt like my breasts had stolen the childhood that I was not ready to leave.  My growing female body set me apart from my female peers and I was jealous of them and their flat chests.  Some of the boys noticed and I learned to stay away from some.  The innocent "kiss chase" game I had once participated in without a thought, became something I knew to stay away from.

Moving to high school, I was the only girl, in certainly the first two years, to have breasts.  It definately set me apart.  In a way I did not want, when I all I wanted was so desperately to fit in.  Attention from men also increased.  I hated it.

Coming into my third year and other girls started to develop too, making me more normal again.  Able to blend more into the crowd.  Yet mine were still bigger and were a figment of fun.  I gained a nickname which I won't repeat here, but it was related to the size and shape of my breasts.

I still hated my breasts and resented the boys that were allowed to grow up normally, without a body part being the thing that they were known for.  

For around six months when I was 15, I was attacked by three boys at the bus stop at the end of school, every, single, day.  Throwing me down to the small rise of grass next to the bus stop, grabbing my breasts.  I remember the fear.  The embarrassment.  The wondering of why, on a main road, no one ever stopped to help me.  I was invisible.  It felt like because of my adult, larger breasts, it was somehow allowed.  Accepted.

I remember telling a teacher and being told that "boys will be boys".  Something about male hormones and a suggestion to wear a larger shirt.  I didn't tell my parents.  I was too ashamed.  I felt that it was my fault.

It stopped eventually, because I paid them to stop.  A packet of cigarettes.  They and I acted like nothing had ever happened afterwards.  I think that was when I began to feel like my breasts were intrinsically linked with my self worth.  I had paid them to stop, my breasts had become a commodity to trade.

Now, I weep for my 15 year old self.  The question still rolls around in my head.  So many cars passed by each day.  The drivers, the passengers, so many must have seen.  Why did no one ever stop?  Did I matter so little?  Did they think I encouraged the assaults?  Back then, I could only conclude that I did.

Fast forward a few years and I was a larger girl, with the larger breasts.  My self worth had plummeted to a level that my breasts were the only commodity I could use to attract the attention of boys that I then desperately craved.   Their attention, no matter how depraved, how wrong, made me feel like, for that moment, I wasn't invisible.  I was, in that moment, worth just a tiny bit.

I think the thing I am most ashamed of is that in those years, I met again one of the boys who had accosted me so many times at school.  I slept with him.  Now I cannot believe that my self worth had sunk so low that I would allow that to happen.  To court it.  Jesus Christ.

The self harming I did back then I now realise was a punishment to myself for what I allowed, and encouraged to happen to me.  

This tale of mine doesn't sound great inspiration for girls to feel better about their female bodies and their worth.  But reader, my life got so much better.  I found hope again.  I found self worth.

I slowly began to realise that I was more than my breasts.  They did not define me.  I threw away those who objectified me for them.  I began to dress differently.  No longer the black to hide the larger body but with the breasts showing.  Instead pretty dresses.  Patterns.  Colours.  I started to write about being confident in yourself and growing yourself as a person, not seeing yourself as purely an object to try to attract the male sex.  The more I wrote, I more I became a real person.  

The proudest moment of my life appeared when a reader of my confidence blog emailed me, thanking me for encouraging her to find her own self worth.  Enabling her to think of herself as more than her shape.  Instead, a whole person. I still have that email.  It was a defining moment of my life.

Now, at an undisclosed age, I am finally at peace with my female body.  I have worked on my character, my thoughts, my beliefs.  Twitter, the cess pool that it is and can be, helped me to step out of my shell and find the person who, I was surprised to find, I had so many thoughts, so many opinions.  

I finally allowed myself to trust.  To have a relationship.  With a man who loves my body, my breasts, but just as much, my mind.  Someone who encourages me to constantly question, to learn.  Never telling me what to think.  

The battle with my breasts lasted decades and started in a time that is not now.  But girls face different challenges now. But they can, like I did, get through it.  My mental health didn't help throughout.  But I battled, and eventually, I won.

So what would I say to a girl who is battling against her female body, her shape, her form now?  You are more than the value that others place on you.  Work on your mind.  Your personality.  Your thoughts and beliefs.  They will grow, improve your mind and carry you straight through your life.  

I am at peace with my body now.  I can even now, once again, flash a hint of cleavage in a dress because I like the way it looks.  Not as a symbol of worth.  That belongs to my mind.

This body you have is the only one you will ever have.  Do not hate it.  Do not let others define it.  Tell you it should be different.  Don't modify it, change it, mutilate it, harm it.  Embrace it and love it.  It will carry you through the years of your life when those who would judge it are long gone.

Work on your heart and your mind.  You will find yourself and believe me, once you find the person who you are, happiness and peace will come.