We have all heard of the bucket
list, the things you want to do/accomplish before you die, but have you ever
heard of the shovel list?
In Marian Keyes’ new book, The
Mystery of Mercy Close her main character describes it as “A list of all the people and things I hate so much
I want to hit them in the face with a shovel."
As this sounds more fun, and therapeutic than a bucket list, I thought that
I would do my own. Mine has sections
though. Turns out there are more people
in need of a shovel in the face than I had originally though.
So in no particular order….
The “Too Happy/Nice therefore must be Psychopaths” List
All morning people
Bonnie Langford
Cliff Richard
Anthea Turner
The Politics List (This one is limited on the grounds I
couldn’t possibly name everyone)
The current British Government
Mitt Romney
David Cameron (he deserves a special mention)
The Pop “Stars” List
Miley Cyrus
Justin Bieber
Geri Halliwell
Coldplay
Gwen Stefani
Madonna
The Collective List
The Catholic Church
The Pope (again, special mention required)
Reality TV contestants
Jehovah’s Witnesses
Chavs
Any/all fundamental extremists from any religion
Bigots
Jeremy Kyle viewers
The “People I don’t have an explanation for, they just
NEED a shovel to the face” List
Pastor “Dickdonaldo” Maldonaldo
Sebastian “The |Cucumber” Vettel
Gwyneth Paltrow
Clowns (these need multiple shovels on the grounds that they
are scary)
Jeremy Kyle
Louis Spence
I think that will do for now ;)
