Showing posts with label shovellist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shovellist. Show all posts

11 August 2016

My Shovel List - Updated

Four years ago I wrote my shovel list.  You know the one, the list that has all things and people that you want to hit in the face with a shovel.

I was rereading my list and it made me laugh.  I got to thinking about some entries that would no longer make it on the list, and many more that would.  So here you go, my updated list.

The Too Happy/Nice People That Clearly Must Be Psychopaths
Bonnie Langford 
Anthea Turner
Morning people

Politics (including those hate groups who try to be political- Limited As I Could Be Here All Night
Donald Trump (obviously)
Nigel Farage (can I hit him twice?)
Britain First 
The Tories
David Cameron
Boris fucking Johnson
Michael Gove 
Jeremy Hunt
I had better stop here....

The Pop Stars List
Justin Bieber
Robin Thicke
Mariah Carey
Robbie Williams (I used to love you Robbie, but now you need a shovel)

The People I Don't Have An Explanation For, They Just NEED A Shovel To The Face List
Sebastian Vettel
Gwyneth Paltrow
Clowns (these need multiple shovels)
The people who make the tampon ads

Pass me the shovel!!!

The "Women Are Evil As They Won't Date Me, Let's Threaten Them Instead" List
Where do I start?
A Voice for Men
Return of the Kings
Roosh V

So there is my list, who is on yours?

18 September 2012

My Shovel List

We have all heard of the bucket list, the things you want to do/accomplish before you die, but have you ever heard of the shovel list?

In Marian Keyes’ new book, The Mystery of Mercy Close her main character describes it as “A list of all the people and things I hate so much I want to hit them in the face with a shovel."

As this sounds more fun, and therapeutic than a bucket list, I thought that I would do my own.  Mine has sections though.  Turns out there are more people in need of a shovel in the face than I had originally though.

So in no particular order….

The “Too Happy/Nice therefore must be Psychopaths” List
All morning people
Bonnie Langford
Cliff Richard
Anthea Turner

The Politics List (This one is limited on the grounds I couldn’t possibly name everyone)
The current British Government
Mitt Romney
David Cameron (he deserves a special mention)

The Pop “Stars” List
Miley Cyrus
Justin Bieber
Geri Halliwell
Gwen Stefani

The Collective List
The Catholic Church
The Pope (again, special mention required)
Reality TV contestants
Jehovah’s Witnesses
Any/all fundamental extremists from any religion
Jeremy Kyle viewers

The “People I don’t have an explanation for, they just NEED a shovel to the face” List
Pastor “Dickdonaldo” Maldonaldo
Sebastian “The |Cucumber” Vettel
Gwyneth Paltrow
Clowns (these need multiple shovels on the grounds that they are scary)
Jeremy Kyle
Louis Spence

I think that will do for now ;)