The Perfect Life Is The One You Don't Have To Escape From

 When people talk about ambitions, they usually mean the big dreams.  The child who wants to be a surgeon, the walker who wants to one day climb Mount Everest.  We are taught from a young age that it is important to have goals in life, a plan.  Something that you want to be.  A career that you aspire to get.

That was never me.   To use a line inspired from Buffy, I was cookie dough for a very long time.  I was still baking.  As such, dreams and aspirations were not part of my life.  I was still waiting to see how I turned out.

That said, I always wanted two things.  Two things that you cannot train for, you cannot gain enough money to get; you cannot educate yourself for.  I wanted love, real, can't believe you are so lucky to have found each other, love.  And I wanted to be happy.  The latter, I prayed for.  It was like a mantra at one point in my life.  Over and over.  I just want to be happy.  I just want to be happy.

Although it was undoubtedly have earned me more money, a career was never something I really thought about or strived towards.  When asked in secondary school what I wanted to do for a job, I did not know.  Administration is what I ended up answering.  I remember some people laughing.  Others had answered, doctors, lawyers, teachers.  Then me, with no plan.

I have never been driven by money or success.  Although both would have given me a more advantageous life, would it have made it better?

The paths that I have chosen or have moved on are not is not one that others would have chosen.  I drifted in my life for a very long time.  But I do not regret the choices that I made.

I have a job that I love.  It will never earn me a lot of money, but I can sleep at night.  I have never experienced the Monday dread.  I enjoy what I do.  How many people can truly say that?  The money covers what I need and I am good at what I do.

In terms of love, everyone was a no, until the right one was a yes.  I knew the moment I met him that I had never met anyone like him before.  It didn't take long before I realised that he was the one that I had been waiting for.

I had accepted long ago that I may not meet that "perfect for me" person.  That he may not exist.  But I also knew that I never wanted to settle for anything less.  In that area, I am all, or nothing.  I could not imagine being with someone who I knew deep down, was not the one.

I never had a type.  My wish list was more about the person themselves and their personality traits than physical.  In terms of physicality I had a wide range of men that I called attractive.  Celebrity wise to give an example, everyone from Vin Diesel to Billie-Joe Armstrong.

But when I met my guy, everything fell into place.  My perfect for me person.

I was wildly attracted to him.  But also, and more importantly for a long term relationship, he was everything I wanted from a personality point of view, his morals, his code.  The way he made me laugh.  The way he loves me.

I feel absolutely loved, in just the way I always wanted.

So no, my dreams may not be like others.  I do not have a successful, money making job.  I am not wealthy.  But I have a job I enjoy and I found the love that I dreamed of.  I found true peace and a calm I never thought possible.

Because of that, I feel like I won the lottery.  Who can argue with that?