A Response to the Steve Miller Campaign

We are not born judging others. When we enter this world we do so free from preconceptions, we take people as they are. As such, I did not realise that I was different from other children until I reached primary school. Actually, I did not realise until the parents of my classmates told their children I was I different. I was a chubby child and that was in their eyes wrong.

Growing up, throughout primary school and high school that difference grew. I was a a little bigger than the rest of my classmates and as society's influences on us all multiplied at a massive rate, so did the judgements upon me.

I entered 20s and by this time, my thoughts were consumed by what others thought about my size. Everywhere I went I was told that I looked wrong. I walked down the street and a random man in a van would shout “Fat bitch” at me. Both men and women would make fun of me when I went out on a night out and it got to the stage where I would cross the street when I saw a group of people, afraid that they would make fun of me. Even when I met a man and he told me I was beautiful, I did not believe him. Society told me I looked wrong and I believed them.

I had been indoctrinated and I did not realise it. I had lost myself to the judgements of others and I was drowning.

When I stumbled into plus size fashion blogging it felt like a whole new world. A world where others looked like me, but were happy and confident in who they were. Something awoke in me, a spark ignited.

It started small. I started to look up instead of down. My wardrobe changed from a sea of black to packed full of dresses. I no longer crossed the street, afraid. I smiled back when a man smiled at me, without thinking that he would make fun of me.

I had at long last found myself.

Steve Miller, the creator of “Tell a friend they are fat” tells us that being fat is wrong. That you cannot be fabulous if you are fat. His whole theory seems to be based that fat people do not know that they are fat and that a friend telling them so will “fix them”. I do not know one fat person who has not always known they were fat.

The one thing that I had before I found body confidence was my friends. They knew me, the real me and never judged me. They were my safe haven in a world that hated the way I looked. They still are. A true friend knows that telling you that you are fat is nothing that you do not already know.

I am fat. I was chubby, then grew up fat. Some of it was just the way I am, some because I have a propensity to carbs. What I finally grew to realise however that this is MY BODY. No one elses, mine. I realised that I like my face and my body, just the way it is.

I am not a barbie doll. I do not look perfect (whatever perfect even looks like). What I am is exactly myself. I do not go around telling other people not to smoke, drink or take drugs. I do not expect others to tell me what I should be and how I should look like either. If I choose to lose weight or stay the same, it is my business.

My value does not go up and down like the stock market dependent on what I weigh. My self worth does not decrease if someone decides that they do not like the way that I look. We are all unique and it should be celebrated. We are priceless.

My years of listening to other people about what I should be lead to nothing but hurt, depression, self harm and locking myself away. My acceptance of who I am set me free.

I am happier now than I have ever been. That is healthy. Steve Miller's campaign is not. It is bullying, it is dangerous and let's face it, he does not actually care what happens to the people who because of him are told that they are fat, which they already know; he cares about the fame and money it will bring him. I am sure a new book will no doubt follow.

Steve tells us that by telling a friend they are fat could add a few years to their life. Society's dictations on how I looked took over my life for two decades. Now tell me again which is healthier. Happiness, or living a life being miserable, indoctrinated into believing that you look wrong.

Be happy. Whether you are a size 8 or 28. Happiness is the key to everything good. Not judgement and persecution. If you want to lose weight, do it, for you, but do not, for one second, ever let someone tell you that you are not good enough. Reclaim your life and live it the way that you choose.

Mad About Mac - A Review for the Dubious

It is rare that I choose to review make-up on my blog.  I am no beauty blogger and usually I prefer to leave the expert reviews up to them.  Today though, I have something that I wanted to rave about.

For a Christmas present this year I was given my very first Mac lipstick - in Russian Red.  Now why might you ask am I about to review something that has been done a million times before?  You can barely take a step on the internet without falling over someone's rave review of Mac lipstick so why I am bothering?

The answer to that is simple.  I, like many other people I know, always believed that Mac lipsticks were overpriced.  It is just a lipstick I thought, how could it possibly be so much better than you pay £16.00 for it?  I did not get the hype about it at all.  So this post is for those people.

The red lipstick lover in me has always wanted to try out the famous Russian Red so I decided to ask for it as a Christmas present.  I thought that I would like the colour and that would be it. It would then join the masses of other lipsticks, all interchangeable for one another.

How wrong I was.  The colour, as I suspected, is divine.  But the real selling point of this lipstick is not the rich colour or that although it a matte lipstick it is not drying as so many are, it is the fact it stays perfectly in place, all night.

I forgot to do a colour swatch of the lipstick but everyone knows what the colour looks like by now?  This explains why I am not a beauty blogger however here are a couple of shots of me wearing it, pout in place.

(I have just realised that my hair makes me look like a bobble head with a tiny neck!

I put my glorious my new red lipstick on when I was getting ready for celebrations on Christmas Day and it survived a three course meal, lots of drinks and persisted until I went to bed and I took it off.  This is quite a feat considering the sheer amount of things that passed my lips that day and the fact that I am always touching my lips and usually end up with lipstick all over my hands. 

(That sentence sounds dirty and I cannot fix it, I'm sorry. You will just have to cope with the double entendre).

Now that ladies and gentleman is a lipstick that is a keeper.  I did not need to reapply at all, the colour stayed rich and lush and I felt amazing wearing it all day.  I need more.  Immediately.  As soon as my bank account recovers from my rash Christmas spending, another Mac lovely will be entering my life pronto.

I now bow at the alter of the god of Mac.  Whatever did I ever do without you?

My Favourite Dresses of 2014

Whilst 2014 has been a bit of a roller coaster in my personal life, one thing that has not changed is my ever growing love for clothes.  Alongside that love for clothes, my body confidence has grown steadily too and that is in no small way due to the amazing blogs that I read.

Becky (Mrs BeBe) is one blog that I always take time to read.  She first inspired me to start my own blog and I love checking out what she is wearing.  Seeing her progress with her writing and how generously she shares her own story drives me on too.

The fabulous Betty Pamper always looks like she dresses exactly the way she wishes.  Betty wears the things that she wants, without worrying if things are "on trend" (I hate that phrase).  She wears the clothes that she loves, her personality shines through them and she always looks amazing.  This is the way I like to dress myself, not following the trends, just following my style; be it from Bon Marche or Asos.

Dani has the wardrobe that I wish that I could live in.  She is always perfectly styled in her photographs and her choices and combinations always inspire me to make bolder choices.  Love this girl.

Leah is a daily read for me.  Reading her blog is like receiving the most amazing hug of your life.  Her generosity, her willingness to share her life with you, both the ups and the downs and of course the great clothes she wears makes her a must read.  I always wish that I lived closer to Leah as she is just the type of person that I love to have in my life.

Em is just amazeballs.  Read her blog and love her.  That is all.

Mentions also have to be made for Nikki who has the best laugh of anyone I know, Becky whose love for dresses rivals my own (congratulations on your job lovely!) and the amazing Louise who inspires me greatly.

So, on to what I wore this year.  Here are my favourites:

There are just a few of my favourite outfits that I have worn this year, hope you like them as much as I do.

I hope everyone has a happy New Year.  Roll on to 2015, I have a feeling it is going to be a good one!

How to make a Cheap Maxi Dress Look Like a Million Dollars

Everybody looks good in a maxi dress, and there’s a huge selection of maxis out there to choose from. Unfortunately, not all of them are priced within reach of the typical girl—which makes choosing a cheap plus-sized maxi dress (that won’t look cheap) quite a challenge. Here are three steps to taking a discount maxi and making it look couture:


Pay attention to fit
This is advice that comes out a lot in the fashion world, but it really does matter. Fitted dresses look substantially more chic and elegant than those that are a hint too light, too lose, too long, or too short. With cheap maxi dresses, the length is particularly important: no maxi dress should touch the floor without showing off at least your toes. Remember that dresses can be hemmed and that even a trip to the tailor costs a lot less than buying fitted designer pieces, while making you look just as good.

A sexy cut goes a long way.
One way to dress up a cheap maxi dress is simply to buy a sexier cut. As a general rule of thumb, sexy dresses look more expensive than casual dresses. Remember that this rule has many exceptions, however, and if you wearing something too revealing to a casual environment, it can look a little bit cheap. There are many ways to make a make dress look sexy without going over the top, however. Evening wear/cocktail style maxi dresses typically have straps and a close fit all the way down to the waist, in contrast to the baggier maxi dresses you see on the beach. If you want to go a step even sexier, look for those with slits, cutouts, or mesh to show off a hint of skin. 

Accessories say a lot.
No matter whether you got your maxi dress for $500 or $50, its look will be influenced heavily by how you accessorize. Consider elements from earrings and necklaces to belts, clutches, shawls and of course your choice of footwear. For best results, contrast against the dress somewhat: a bright pink maxi pairs elegantly with black pumps and a black clutch, whereas a more subued dress is really going to pop with small touches of bright color in the accessories.



How do you dress up a bargain dress?


* Guest Post - Collaborated