I was reading a post called The Looks, The Stares by the fabulous Leah of Just Me Leah recently.
It made me think of the extra layer of veneer that is necessary sometimes when out and about in the general public. It shouldn’t be necessary, you should be able to walk around in public without judgement but as you know, some people can be idiots.
What it did make me remember was an incident last week when I was at Euston Station that made me realise that something has changed. I am not as self conscious as I used to be. Not by a mile.
At the time the weather was fairly warm and so I was travelling in my striped floral Asos Curve dress. It is pretty and was just right for wanting to be comfortable whilst travelling. I have always travelled in black previously and have usually blended into the crowd. This dress stands out, but I didn’t even think about it.
So there I am stood at Euston Station, looking at the departures board for my train and I spy a woman openly staring at me. She stares, she looks away, she stares again. She looks a bit baffled. At that point I could not understand why she was staring at me in such a way.
Then a minute or so later the penny dropped. She was staring at the fat girl who was standing out. Not wearing black, not trying to blend in. Wearing stripes and bright florals. I wasn’t playing by the rules.
Instead of feeling self conscious and wanting to cover up, I smiled at her. Which made her even look even more confused. Then a wonderful thing happened. I started to laugh. I walked away and went to board my train.
Another layer of veneer fell off me that day and the world got a little bit brighter. Here is me in the oh so shocking dress by the way.
Have you experienced anything like that?